1. Tallandboring

    Tallandboring New Member

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    Does this sound interesting?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Tallandboring, Sep 29, 2011.

    A young girl with the ability to control fire, accompanied by a man able to shift into a winged lion both leave behind the lives they knew and set out on journey across a post apocalyptic in order to survive.

    Sorry for the sloppy description, there's more to it. Flashbacks, a pretty good villain (in my opinion), a main character who is half machine with no memory what so ever.

    I think this is the first time I let anyone other than my two closest friend know the actual plot of my book, any sort of feedback would be awesome.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. suddenly BANSHEES

    suddenly BANSHEES Senior Member

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    Inb4 Cogito's "concept means nothing" copypasta.

    Sounds to me like it could either be really cool or really awful, depending on how it's written. The concept isn't nearly as important as the way the story is told, and the characters and conflicts and all that good stuff.
    The winged lion is pretty badass, though.
     
  3. Bartleby

    Bartleby New Member

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    Sounds like Firestarter Meets Terminator Salvation with a griffon.
     
  4. prettyprettyprettygood

    prettyprettyprettygood Active Member

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    I agree with Banshees, it sounds like it could either be great or ludicrous depending on the quality of the writing and the other details of the story. You should absolutely give it a bash, if the story calls you. Good luck!
     
  5. Timothy Giant

    Timothy Giant New Member

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    I agree with Banshees too; at least it can never end up being mediocre! ^^

    'A girl able to control fire'... 'post-apocalyptic world'... It reminds me a lot of 'Witch and Wizard' (written by someone of whom I can't remember the name). However, that's a rather curious, non-standard world, so the chances of yours ending up like his are quite small.
    It sounds like something I would read (given that it is either good or short). :D

    ---------- Post added at 10:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 AM ----------

    I agree with Banshees too; at least it can never end up being mediocre! ^^

    'A girl able to control fire'... 'post-apocalyptic world'... It reminds me a lot of 'Witch and Wizard' (written by someone of whom I can't remember the name). However, that's a rather curious, non-standard world, so the chances of yours ending up like his are quite small.
    It sounds like something I would read (given that it is either good or short). :D
     
  6. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?

    Don't ask permission, just write your story.
     
  7. Tallandboring

    Tallandboring New Member

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    Completely disagree on that statement above, and I wasn't asking for premission, I was asking for opinions.
     
  8. Chivalrous Tart

    Chivalrous Tart New Member

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    I think we need more details if we're going to judge your characters. Abilities (Fire control and shape shifting) and a situation (Post apocalypse) require specified details or they are just a vague idea. You need to give character relations, specific threats of the post apocalypse, and a conflict and then we can begin to give you more in-depth details about whether an idea is interesting. Let's talk specifics.
     
  9. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Opinions on a plot summary are useless. Everything depends on how well you write it. Concept is vastly overrated.
     
  10. Tallandboring

    Tallandboring New Member

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    The girl's name is Sand, she can control and manipulate fire to an extent, but her emotions control her powers more than she does. She is young, naive, and stubborn.
    William is the shapeshifter, he is older than Sand, and has a better self control. He has wings, and can shapeshift into a winged lion. He is more reserved and doesn't let his emotions show.
    The world takes place three apocalypses from our time, effectively wiping away most technology and history from now.
    The world rebuilt itself, and they managed to rebuild civilization with some ancient and a lot of new technology (steampunk themed)
    Animals and people have evolved and mutated, there are entirely new species of animals (which I talked about in another post) and new races of human, each races looking distinguishingly different and having different abilities (which I haven't talked about much).
    Mutant races are rare, and in the southern country, they are hated and banned from living in the cities.
    Sand was born there, and has been illegally living there her whole life, which is frowned upon and punishable with death.
    William is living in an empty house farther north, but he is kicked out for living there without paying, and leaves.
    The southern cities, tired of housing illegal mutants, develope a poison, lethal only to mutants and gas their cities.
    William arrives and saves Sand.
    The two of them have no where to go and flee to the north, to a mutant friendly country.
    The journey takes them across an insane distance, through forests, deserts, and mountains, all the while Luther, a demented shapeshifter, hunts them, aimed at killing William.
    Raze is the amnesiac andriod, he wakes up in an abandoned lab with no memory and most of his body replaced with machinery. His story follows him trying to figure out who he is.

    I don't think opinions are useless at all. They can help you critique your ideas and get feedback on your writing and plot. Opinions are incredibly helpful. And how can concept be overrated? Without concepts, books would be characters with nothing to do.
     
  11. suddenly BANSHEES

    suddenly BANSHEES Senior Member

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    Gonna have to agree with you about reader opinions, tallandboring - bouncing ideas around with other people can definitely be helpful, so long as you don't let the other people write your story for you.

    The superpowered mutants=outcasts thing is a little cliche, to be honest. I've never quite understood it - in a world where mortals and being with superpowers coexist, if one were to oppress the other, you'd think the ones who can control fire and turn into lions would be the dominant race. Because they have freaky powers and the others don't. (I've been wanting to get that off my chest for so long, you guys don't even know.)
    Not that you can't make this work, of course. So long as there's a good reason why this society is like that, it could be believable. Or if the rest of the story is interesting enough, it won't be much of an issue. And fugitives-on-the-run stories can be pretty exciting, anyway.

    Some things I'd like to know, though, is that if there's a mutant-friendly country in the north, why are there mutants living illegally in the south, where they get the death penalty just for existing? And why is the southern country so hateful towards mutants - why kill them, instead of deporting them out of the country, or enslaving them or something? And how does Raze figure into all of this?

    On a side note: Based on your description of Raze, his story sounds kinda like a steampunk Robocop. I just wanted to point that out so that I could share this mental image I have of a steampunk Robocop. :D
     
  12. Tallandboring

    Tallandboring New Member

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    Mutants are far out numbered by regular people, and all mutants have weaknessess that can be easily exploited
    The reason they are in the mutant hating country is because their is sort of a cold war sort of thing happening in the time period of the book, and their aren't any roads connecting the two countries, there are no vehicles either, they aren't very advanced in that aspect. They have animal drawn carts and wagons though. But there is a massive mountain range serving as an effective border between the countries.
    Mutants are hated due to an event in which a massive group of them joined together and took over a secluded city, killing all the humans in it. They aren't always punished with death though, some mutants are sent to a prison where they are forced to fight one another for viewers entertainment.
    Raze fits into the story pretty well, he does certain things and triggers a major event which has a huge effect in Sand and William, and all three of their plotlines meet up eventually. While his concept could be compared to Robocop, his personality is different, along with his mindset. I would like to think he's a pretty stand out character.
     

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