Hello all! So my current WIP takes place in future America where all the creatures of myth (vampires, demons, etc) have come out of the closet and are trying to become active members in society. I have two MC's, one who is a human female and another male "creature." The story starts off with a riot, where the creatures of myth attack humans who are actively trying to imprison the creatures. My human MC gets separated from her family and ends up getting chased by a demon that is trying to kill her. I have her getting saved by my creature MC, and she grows attracted to him after a few days. She ends up asking to be changed to his kind in Chapter 4. But I was wondering if that was too slow to start the novel.. I thought of having my human MC getting chased and severely wounded by the demon. So my creature MC saves her by changing her to his kind. I feel it would make the beginning more interesting.. But is that too cliche? Human is dying so a creature changes her to save her life (like Twilight... ugh)? I could make it work either way, I just think the second way is better. Opinions?
I'd say it depends mostly on the characters and the dynamic between them. I think whether it seems cliched will depend on how you portray it rather than what you portray. Based on what you've said, I assume there is a growing romance. So who is pursuing who predominantly? If the human MC is doing the pursuing, maybe her choosing to change strengthens her characterisation (of course, she can always regret her choice later...). If the 'creature' MC has fallen for the human, perhaps he chooses to save her life by changing her. This can show the romantic side of his character (or if he hasn't fallen for her, may just portray him as someone kind and caring). Whichever character makes the choice, have a think about what the other character would think in response. For instance, if I were a male 'creature' and some human girl I barely knew suddenly decided to become a 'creature' and follow me around... I'd be a little freaked out: that's coming on a bit strong. Other options might be the change being forced on her (so maybe the male character helps her acclimatise to her new lifestyle?) or having the change occur by accident (potentially the fault of the male character, which could create dramatic tension between them).
Thanks for the response! There is a budding romance between them, but at the time the change would originally take place, it wouldn't be much of one yet. My female is very sympathetic to the creature's kind and wants to help them become equals in the world. So having her want to change makes sense.. And my male had a very brother-sister like relationship with a human female many years ago, but she died tragically, and he was unable to save her. It nearly destroyed him. My female MC reminds him a lot of this girl. So it would also make sense that he would see my female dying and want to save her like he couldn't save his friend. I think I agree with you about her coming on too strong. She doesn't want to change to be with him, just to instill change.. But I think the readers might see it as her wanting to be with him all the time when she barely knows him. Besides, the change would make their connection stronger, so their quickly growing romance would make more sense. I think I'll probably change it to her changing in the second chapter. Makes a little more sense that way. Yup. Just thought of a way to make it work better. Definitely changing it. lol Thank you!!
