1. Invisigirl591

    Invisigirl591 New Member

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    Fantasy- my story idea.

    Discussion in 'Fantasy' started by Invisigirl591, Jan 17, 2007.

    Title: Don't have one yet... just calling it Fantasy currently.

    Genre: Fantasy

    Plot: A kingdom is in danger. A princess's life is indanger. And the most unsuspecting people must save her. A prophocey said only traitors and cowards can stop a great evil.
    After The Age of Heroes, Trizon(the story setting) had moved and went along with there lives happily. It seemed as if after the day Tristan had died saving his land that all evil was vanquished. It was wrong, an abyss had opened in a city called Flinhard. When a young elf princess checked to see what was going on she had learned that a evil creature called, The Dragon Lord, had plotted to kill the young Princess Ely and take over the kingdom. When the elf priness came and told the royal family they instantly had put up protection to keep her safe since she soon had to claim the throne. A war was unleashed and cowards and simple peasants had become noble heroes.


    Please tell me what you think.
     
  2. Spherical Time

    Spherical Time New Member

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    Some small spelling/grammar things corrected so that I can read your post better:

    Okay. A standard fantasy with a twist. Sounds cool.

    I corrected some things in this section in the way that I assume that you meant it.

    Okay. This isn't phrased well, but I understand what's going on.

    Uh . . . is the princess that finds out what's going on also Princess Ely? This fragment of the plot doesn't make that clear.

    I want to know what happens to the royal family. Civil unrest is rarely pretty. If commoners eventually become nobility, it usually means the entire royal family is killed.

    On the other hand, you seem to indicate that the royals are the good guys. The war would seem to be against evil, but I don't yet have any sense of why the bad guy wants a war.

    I think you need to give more thought as to who the heroes are. When you have a better idea about the characters, you'll have a better idea of how they fit into the plot.

    I would also add more twists and turns. Right now, there aren't any plot points that really grab me.
     
  3. powertodream

    powertodream New Member

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    I'm a fairly avid fantasy reader, and I have to admit that if I read this on the back of a book, I'd more than likely put it back on the shelf. Why? Because I've seen it done a dozen times before, read it a dozen times before. I'm not saying that that makes your story entirely cliche, but I'd like to see something new and original that I've never seen in a fantasy before.

    I think that any fantasy premise has been largely overdone, due to the popularity of the genre, but I also believe that any person can come up with a unique twist to the story that does set it apart.
     

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