I like creative insults that rearrange or combine familiar terms in non standard ways. Like assjack, fucktard, and cocksmoker.
My favorite insults aren't really particularly creative but there's something about Captain Haddock's voice as he says, "Troglodyte! Freshwater pirates! Lily-livered landlubbers!" that tickles my funny bone.
I still always laugh at the extremely stupid insult from Supernatural: "Hey, Assbutt!" When I lived in a house with five other guys, this was one of many ridiculous things said all the time to each other.
It seems that I'm more evil & cruel than anyone else here. I use facts. Facts which can easily be checked. Facts which point out the serious flaws & biases someone has without being able to admit having them. I use them after someone has tried to manipulate me, underestimate me, has invented some total bs as if it was from my head and not his/her... In some cases it takes months of years - even decades - before the real force of those facts hits. I love to see it when castles of dishonesty & double standards start to crumble. And I never use insulting facts or facts which hurt against good and/or honest people. And if someone has been really hostile, underestimating, manipulative... I do this in a way which points to that area of his/her/their motivation which they really like to keep hidden - even from themselves.
I love those Victorian/Edwardian/Oscar Wildeian ladies' insults. So deft. ETA: If you've never seen Dangerous Liaisons with Glenn Close and John Malkovich, find yourself a copy. It's a treasure trove of that sort of use of language. My favorite (from memory, so there may be minor discrepancies) is the statement one of the men makes about his young lover: "I have trained her to eagerly provide services one would hesitate to request of a professional."
Fatherfucker is one of my favorites. It was used on a Scottish comedy show to evade the ban of "motherfucker", so the host would come on stage and shout "GOOD EVENING FATHERFUCKERS!"
I'm reminded of the Group W bench. Everybody who knows what I'm talking about is giggling madly right now. From Alice's Restaurant Massacree by Arlo Guthrie: "Group W is where they putcha if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin' people on the bench there. There was mother rapers... father stabbers... father rapers... Father rapers! Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!" Note: The song below contains an anti-gay slur. I think that the context it's presented in shows that the slur is not coming from the author but one of the characters in the story he's telling, but fair warning if the "fa--ot" offends you.
You’re about as useful as a shit flavored lolly pop. ~Patches O’Houlihan- Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
"And look at you: the lost & found became a person." Credit to Big Mouth and my losing 400 calories laughing at it.
Oh, well, if we're doing momma insults, 'No, I'm not your daddy. I would have been, but the guy behind me in line had exact change'.
