Favorite Insults

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by EFMingo, Oct 25, 2019.

  1. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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  2. BearOfTheNorth

    BearOfTheNorth Member

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    'You will meet an end so cruel, the devil will weep.'- Klaus Mikaelson.
     
  3. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Seeking the bigger self Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I've always liked "stupid pig-dog."
     
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  4. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    I don’t know what game you’re playing, my dear, but I do enjoy the light reflecting from your scales as you coil.

    Penny Dreadful
     
  5. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Arnold Rimmer (to his own clone). Red Dwarf S1E6

    “STOP YOUR FOUL WHINING, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!!”
     
  6. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    Ick. That is quite the visual.
     
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  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    He called himself a pink sock? Nothing like a prolapse joke.
     
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  8. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Never looked at it like that but... err, yeah
     
  9. Cloudymoon

    Cloudymoon Member

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    Some great insults, if only I could remember them when I need 'em!

    But my favourite is still Churchill's - when told by a woman that he's drunk:

    "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
     
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  10. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Thought that was Groucho Marks?
     
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  11. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. costik36

    costik36 Member

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    As far as I remember this was between some Romanian poets when they were roasting each other:

    "A lot of heads produce so much in their lifetime, however your head only produced dandruff"
     
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  13. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Today's Instagram scroll found this delightful little gem.
     

    Attached Files:

  14. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

    - Monty Python
     
  15. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    The implied meaning behind this line makes it excellent.
     
  16. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Churchill also had that exchange with the same woman that went

    "Churchill if you were my husband I would poison your tea"
    "Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it"

    Gladstone and Disraeli also had a great exchange

    Gladstone: You sir, will end upon the gallows, or with a foul disease
    Disraeli: One supposes that the difference would be whether I were to embrace your morals, sir, or your mistress

    they also had this one

    Disraeli : Our foreign policy [in regard of the Suez canal company] is synonymous with honesty
    Gladstone: One might well believe that to this government, honesty is indeed a foreign policy
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2020
  17. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I've always liked these two, and yes I have used them:

    If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose.

    and

    Unfortunately, you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.
     
  18. Mark Burton

    Mark Burton Fried Egghead Contributor

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    It's not that I don't care — I do, because when you start talking my brain cells suffer a slow and agonising death.
     
  19. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    From red dwarf originally

    "We all have something we can bring to this discussion, what you should bring is silence."
     
  20. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    You're not useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
     
  21. Mark Burton

    Mark Burton Fried Egghead Contributor

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    Some people have turned insults into an absolute art form. Married with Children comes to mind.
     
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  22. gngrduncan

    gngrduncan New Member

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    I'll definitely use "cocksmoke" next time.
     
  23. Historical Science

    Historical Science Contributor Contributor

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    You're as useless as tits on a bull.
     
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  24. Le Panda Du Mal

    Le Panda Du Mal Contributor Contributor

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    My favorite insults are just odd and don’t make normal sense. The best I’ve ever heard was “ninja lips.”
     
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  25. Vince Higgins

    Vince Higgins Curmudgeon. Contributor

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    I used to commute to work by commuter rail, and drove to the station arriving about five minutes early every day. One day someone in a big pickup truck rode my ass for the last half mile to the station, I parked and got out just as nimrod got out of his truck. He looked at me and called me a moron. I calmly replied "I'm a moron? I'm not the one who thought he was late for the train." I waited on the platform, talking to some of the other regulars, and he just stood and glared at me.

    This should belong on the confessions thread, but I sometimes revel in passive aggressive behavior.
     

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