Hello Everyone, I have been working on this for awhile now and I want to know what you think about it regarding if it seems to have a logical enough flow to move forward with a story or if it seems to choppy and things need to be cleared up. I understand that you will not get the whole concept I have since it is just a quick outline but I hope you get the general idea and here it is: A boy must abandon his past life of family and friends to help defend a new land he knows nothing about from an unrelenting force known as the Pack. Allied with a group that call themselves the Guardians, this boy must learn all of their attributes to stand as an equal with their leader and hold back the ravaging Pack before his new home becomes overrun. However, as the boy begins to come into his own, a new enemy emerges from the Pack and creates a new vigor that may leave the Guardians at their knees. Let me know what you guys think and if you have any ideas on how I can make it better, or more detailed to the point where it is clear cut. Thanks in advance for all the help!
Sounds nice!!! Perhaps you could make many short stories about the Guardian's 'smaller' adventures, and then move on to something bigger. And this 'Pack' 'Guardian' stuff, cliche. But the starting is good, the new land stuff, that's original. I see a lot of things you can do in this story.
The plot does sound a little cliche, especially the name 'Guardians' - simply changing their name should be enough, though. Despite this, many, many people still like fantasy stories like this (including myself), so I wouldn't worry too much. Remember that no idea is really original anymore; it's the way you express and write down the idea that makes it original. Use your own voice, not others. Also, the short stories idea presented by "Timewalker" is a superb thing to try out, and I may just use it for my own sci-fi series I'm working on. Anyway, good luck and keep on writing!
Even though it's just an outline, I can see one problem. Why. Why would this boy want to defend the land that he knows nothing about? You could force him to do so by adding some sort of military obligation into the story (E.g. all kids his age must be trained as guardians) but I think that a motivation that comes from within the character would be stronger. Simple idea: The Pack killed a dear relative of him so he wants to fight back... After all, a character that acts in response to the world will (imo) always be less interesting then characters that act upon the world in which they find themselves.
Change the name of the 'pack'. Sounds like you have put no effort into creating a name for them. Be creative. Pack sounds bland.
A story concept means nothing. What matters is how you write it: the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's absolutely no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?
