How are we? Long time reader, second time poster. Long story short (see, it's funny, because it's a writers forum), for the past year or 2, I had this "quite nearly" finished plot to a musical I really wanted to write. The themes were there, characters were there, but I just couldn't tie all together in one nice neat bow. Anyway, very recently I managed to put the nail in the coffin which was an EXTREMELY satisfying itch to scratch as now I only have the creative process in front of me (which is the fun bit). However, looking at it, I feel like the bare bones of it are solid and the characters get relatively meaningful arcs, but as a whole story, it doesn't feel.... FULL. It's kind of hard to explain, but when I read or watch other musicals, I finish with a feeling as if I've had a 5-course meal; i.e. I may not remember it all, but it all contributed to the greater sensation at the end. When I read mine, it's great and I like it, but it doesn't feel as meaty or fulfilling as I'd like it to be, especially in the second Act. I'll chuck the current plot in a spoiler - the italicised and quoted phrases in parentheses are song titles (like you'd see in a plot summary for a musical on Wikipedia). It's probably worth noting that the character "Id" is a reoccurring visual aid for audiences that appears whenever there is an "Id Moment ##" musical number so audiences begin to become familiar with him before he's revealed half-way through the the second act. Basically, any ideas or facets of the plot/characters you can see are worth exploring further would be great to hear. It's also worth noting that while there is an ensemble, I'd really like to keep the story focused on the main characters I have at the moment - new characters might set off chain-reactions that mess with the narrative. If nothing at all, tell me if I'm over-thinking this and what I've got works fine. My ego sure as hell wouldn't argue. Thanks thanks, Oscar Wilson Spoiler: PLOT SUMMARY SEX ED: A Freudian Musical The Premise: “Ed, a devoted and reserved Catholic man, experiences the turmoils of married life as a conflict between his head and his heart sends him on a journey of self-realisation and sexual education” The Plot: Act 1 Amidst the opening number of a chorus of children singing praises to their fathers, we meet an 10-year-old boy Ed, who is instead singing praises to God through his morning prayer (“I Love My Dad”). On his way to the kitchen for breakfast, Ed passes a piano in the hallway and for a moment, Ed is entranced by its aura until he is snapped from reality by his mother. During breakfast, Ed begins to ask questions about God and heaven, and we begin to see the odd assimilation Ed regularly makes with his father and God. His mother provides vague explanations in response which further validate this confusing idea Ed has of his father (“Is It Lonely In Heaven?”). In a temporary absence of Ed’s mother, Ed finds an opportunity to play the piano in the hallway, relishing in its music until an abrupt interruption from his mother pulls him away, making it clear that Ed is not allowed to play it (“Id Moment #1”). We are introduced to Ed’s school life and his best friend Gabe who is also a devout Catholic like Ed, but far more outgoing. The strict and rigid culture of the private, all-boys Catholic school is festering with delinquents and this juxtaposition is made most prominent in the classroom where, after a boy questions the teacher about “sex”, their teacher condemns sexual thoughts and provocation before marriage (“A Catholic Tradition”). At home, Ed attempts to further explore this concept of “sex” by asking his mother, to which she informs him that his ‘Father’ would be ashamed if Ed ever thought about such a thing before marriage (“Father Wouldn’t Want That”). Shocked, Ed retreats to the piano in the hallway and begins to play, but is caught by his mother who, in a state of betrayal and despair, reveals the truth of his father and subsequently, the lie she has perpetuated to him (“Id Moment #2”). We are then brought to present day where Ed is marrying a young woman, Claudia. Together, they exchange vows and a loving kiss (“I Love My Dad – Reprise”). At the reception, Gabe is talking to Ed about consummating his marriage; a topic that makes Ed uncomfortable. In a poor but overly confident explanation of the “how-to’s” of sex, Gabe reassures Ed that as long as he trusts in his faith and his wife, all will be well, though this doesn’t seem to comfort Ed (“You Put Your Penis”). That night, Ed and Claudia arrive home, Claudia significantly more intoxicated than Ed. Claudia attempts to coax Ed into getting into bed, but after some expert stalling from Ed, she eventually falls asleep. Ed stays awake all night, lamenting over his lack of confidence to “do it” with his wife (Sex, Ed! – Preprise). The next morning, we are introduced to Ed’s office workplace where his colleagues act hauntingly similar to the delinquent peers of his childhood. Sleep deprivation causes Ed to fall asleep, where people in his life perform a ballet-like dream (“The Ballet”). It isn’t until a female colleague interrupts his dream does Ed abruptly wake up and upon seeing her, Ed is instantaneously infatuated (“A Catholic Tradition - Reprise”). She introduces herself as Sally and, after handing Ed a stack of papers, discreetly offers to meet him for drinks at the “Eros Inn”. Ed rejects her offer (though fails to mention why) which Sally graciously respects. Ed is walking home from work with Gabe when Ed poses a hypothetical scenario in which a married man has feelings for a woman outside his marriage. Naturally, Gabe reminds Ed of the sin of adultery and that such feelings should be regarded as ingenuine and insignificant (“A Feeling”). Ed arrives home to a lavish dinner setup and is initially flattered. It isn’t until Claudia appears dressed in a provocative outfit do her true intentions become clear. In a desperate attempt to avoid his obligations for another night, Ed tells her that his work had made him far too tired which she takes badly. In no time, they break out into a fight, ending with Claudia walking out and Ed deciding to take Sally up on her offer. At the Eros Inn, Ed and Sally bond over light-hearted small-talk until she begins to play the piano that sits in the bar. Shocked but pleasantly surprised, Ed hesitantly joins her and suddenly, the fond memories of playing the piano as a child are brought to life as they play a tune remarkably similar to the one he played as a child. Just as their duet reaches a climax, they nearly kiss, but in a sudden moment, Ed comes back to reality and hastily leaves Sally alone in the bar (“Piano”). Ed returns home to find Claudia in bed, waiting. Ed explains himself, reaffirming the promise he made to her on their wedding day to love her for the rest of his life and subsequently realises that he cannot avoid his obligations anymore. Amidst awkward foreplay and clunky sexual tension, they finally begin to make love when Ed notices his lack of erection. After a second attempt, it becomes horrifyingly evident to both Ed and Claudia that Ed is suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED). The act concludes with Ed’s loud cry of despair (“Sex, Ed!”). <>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<> Act 2 Once again, Ed stays awake all night as he laments over his newfound condition and reaffirmed insecurities (“Just Can’t Get It Up”). A now-severely sleep deprived Ed arrives at work to find Sally, who apologises for last night’s events. Ed disregards her, weakly assuring her it wasn’t her fault and in no time, Ed is asleep once again. Instead of a dream however, a nightmare ensues and the people in his life begin to curse Ed for his shortcomings. Ed wakes up in a cold sweat and leaves the office (“You’re a Dead Man, Ed”). Claudia is at Gabe’s home, discussing the events of the previous night. With the help of Gabe, Claudia realises the true nature of her pain and frustration and decides she has to tell Ed how she feels (“Love On The Line”). Ed stumbles into his home and in a fit of rage, denounces God, accusing him of putting him in his current impossible moral predicament (“These Chains”). Suddenly, as if in response, Ed’s world disappears as he enters an epiphanic and heightened state of consciousness and a mysterious voice sounds from the darkness, referring to itself simply as “Id”. Together, Id and Ed converse and we learn who Id is: an embodiment of a part of Ed that has been locked away for much of his life; his primal desires; his passion; his desire to love. Slightly resentful of Ed’s abandoning of this part of his identity, Id reveals to Ed that Sally is not real and was merely a desperate cry for Ed’s attention from Id (“Id”). After taking Ed back through his experiences with Sally, further proving her non-existence, Id tells Ed that he has brought him where he needs to be “so he can finally be free” and Ed suddenly finds himself in his mother’s house, standing in front of her. There is a brief moment of tension until his mother embraces him. They talk for a short while until the piano in the hallway catches his attention, which his mother notices. They then begin to play together, reconciling their relationship (“Piano”). When Ed’s mother asks him about Claudia, he stands and abruptly leaves, now sure and able of what he must do. Claudia is alone at home, waiting for Ed when he suddenly enters. They share an intimate exchange that seems to lead to a dramatic, emotional climax when all of a sudden, the mood changes as Ed leads her to the bedroom. Finally, the couple share a long-awaited night of passionate love-making in amongst a rousing closing number from the ensemble (“Sex, Ed! (Finally)”).
I think I can see part of the problem, but remember I am reading of a synopsis. And that means I probably (as in most definitely) missing some of the nuances. Spoiler: Spoiler Okay, we have is this temptation to have an affair. Why? What's exactly driving this temptation? What is it about Sally that makes Ed think it'd be easier to be intimate with her and not his wife? Now, people have affairs for numerous reasons, but the most common seems to be driven by an unmet need. And no unmet need was really presented here other than, Ed being squeamish about sex and what the heck Sally do to resolve that? It's kind of a strange thing that seems to just be plopped in there. It's almost like you're saying, "This sexy lady will get you going where the other sexy lady couldn't." There's no juxtaposition between these two women. For example, Claudia being more conservative and maybe expects he lead intimacy which he isn't able to do, where as Sally is more wild and more promiscuous, therefore he doesn't have to lead. Something like that. Without a real reason, Sally makes no sense as a solution. Again, I am probably more than likely not seeing nuances. So my advise could completely miss the mark and be absolutely of zero use to you.
