Hating your writing

Often, like now, I hate my writing. I put in a lot of work and I realize how much more work it needs but I don't feel confident it will ever get there. A thread for whining.

 

I hate all my own work as well, but you have to remember that what you hate, others might love.

 

I don't know, I don't stress myself over it. I enjoy writing for the sake of it, I can't really hate something I'm doing if it's for the journey. I can get critical and think of ways to improve it, or even outright despise something I wrote later on, but those are specific things and not the whole "my writing" category.
I think one thing that helps, if I'm feeling stressed about it, is to just pretend nobody will ever, ever read it; it's for my eyes alone. I don't mean it, I'm not really sure what I'll do with it when it's done, but it does get rid of all of the stress and lets my writing flourish.

 

Eh. My #1 success story is this:

1. write short specifically for a contest
2. lose contest
3. deeply dislike and resent short, don't even look at it
4. months later be all tired and angry while shopping around different short
5. realize previous short qualifies for certain mag too
6. submit it too because fuckitrightwhynot
7. short I liked is rejected
8. red-headed step-short is accepted
9. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so yknow

I mean, it's hard to turn off your inner critic and I know that when I'm editing I'm always going into it like "this is all terrible and broken, how can I fix this" and a while back I was literally sat in bed crying because I didn't know how to 'fix' a thing that, turns out, wasn't broken. That's the thing. You're going to make stuff that's not good. Probably a lot of it. But when I'm writing something and it's not working and it feels horrible, I make myself finish it anyway, so I can say that I did. Making something is better than not making something. Even the truly idiotic ideas I had when I was twelve had some kernel of merit to them, and I'm really glad that stuck to them and cared about them and didn't let the inner critic convince me that I was bad at writing full stop.

Because now I can make stuff that's slightly less bad, and in another twenty years maybe I'll even be good at it.

Dwelling on the subpar stuff you've spat out isn't that useful. Fail faster.

 

Finally, a thread for all the optimistic writers!

Yeah, I hate my writing, it often follows the average theme of;

1. This seems like a good concept.
2. I'll do some research and start planning.
3. OKAY, time to start writing.
4. this flows so nicely.
5. I think I'll give myself a break and come back to re-read this.
6. What a load of crap.
7. Proceed to hate work and distract myself with something else for a little while.

I guess its the clichè isn't it, depressed writer hates his own work, even after influential success and fame. Would be nice to have the latter follow however, ha ha.

 

Mainly other people hate my writing.

Later when I read the crap, there is a relief in their rejection, for example, understanding how now two weeks later my writing has much improved. At this stage I remove the def, indef articles that really had no place in the original brilliant piece.

Also writers forums, if my writing is criticised, well here I tend to punish my own wife psychologically with my writer's pain, my agony. Lately I joined a geriatric UK writer group for two weeks, they all hated me, and my writing, so glad to be back here, very much.

 

I agree with Sundowner and izzybot. It is a great deal discouraging when you realize you still have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to do but the good thing is you need to finish it and keep writing. I have only ever finished one story and one novel because I got so upset all the time and just crumpled the pages up or hit delete delete DELETE but remember why we write guys! It is for fun! It is for an escape ! It is for adventure ! It is for a journey !

 

This!

My first official short story was for a "crime" themed contest on LitReactor. It got okay reviews actually, and for anyone who doesn't know, their short story contest system is super collaborative and fun: you submit a story then go crit others, vote them up or down, and folks typically read and crit yours after reading your crit. It creates a chain reaction of lots and lots of crit, and makes you a better writer. I learned how terrible of a writer I was in some ways, but how creative and interesting my ideas can be.

I haven't tried reworking that story because I now hate it, and realize I'd have to re-write the entire thing, do tons of research, make it actually work. That would just be too much work.

Then I wrote a couple of short stories independent of contests and have realized that I have no sense of plot or conflict. Now, I've tried outlining stuff to make sure it has plot, but then it gives me writer's block. Thus far, it seems like I can get a basic idea or theme or character or scene and flesh it out quickly and snowball it into a story, and that's all I can do. Outlining doesn't seem to work well for me if I start with it.

And now, I've entered a short and flash contest here and have received zero upvotes on both. I know I shouldn't depend on others' votes on an internet forum for confidence in my writing, but then I read the stuff that gets votes and think "really? but it's so... generic." It makes me think that people really, really want conventional, inside the box, easy to put in a genre box kinds of writing. But then I know it's my defensiveness.

Which leads me back to hating my writing, wanting to give up, etc.

I won't give up but there are the feelings. I like knowing others feel crazy and inadequate in this regard. Makes me not feel alone.

 

Ummm

 

I don't hate my writing. I just accept that it's a work in progress and that everything is always improvable because it's all mine. I don't have to ask permission.

It's a bit like making a pot on a wheel for me:

Here's me with just an idea in my head, usually my conclusion.


I get the juices flowing (see the juices there?) and though I know it looks like a plop from an elephant with digestive woe, I swear there's a pot in there (story).http://data:image/jpeg;base64,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


Ooo! Look! I'm shaping it! It's starting to look like a story... I mean pot!


Dangit! Pushed too hard on one side and fuqed it up. Oh, well. The clay (words) are still there. We can start again.


Trala!!!!! Lots of dedication and motivation and look! It's a POT! Woo hoo!


The clay is always there. It's your clay. You just need to keep at it. Eventually it will come.

 

I can sing a long like a mad man at home with no shame, but if I were presented with a microphone in public I would kindly say no thanks. I like my writing up and until I show it to the public.

 

We all hate you too, Mat. Welcome back!

 

I swing back and forth between delight at my own genius and despair that it's shit and not working. That's probably because my WP has always been such a mess, and I've spent so long trying to fix the fundamental problems, that I should have started something from scratch and built it properly to begin with. But I've endured because of the dormant potential and positive feedback to sections I've let out of the bag. I'm also totally committed to my character and refuse to give up on a story that is almost there. I'm just not quite good enough yet to cross the finish line. If others hated my writing as much as I often do it would make it so much easier to stop and move on.

 

Yeah, that's a twist. The writer hates his writing and his readers love it!

 

Like some others, I have little mood shifts from time to time. I can think something is brilliant, and then realize it's garbage as well. I think the main thing to ask yourself is whether or not you're improving. If the answer is yes, don't ever be discouraged. I look back on things I wrote a year ago, and I'm so happy that I've come this far.

 

This is worth reading when you hit that point:

http://nanowrimo.org/pep-talks/neil-gaiman

 

Love me some Neil Gaiman how-to-write reading. Thanks...

 

Oh and fun fact:

Neil Gaiman fills pens.

 

Better to be a good writer who thinks s/he's bad than a bad writer who thinks s/he's good.

 

I do two things to feel good about my work. One, it's better than it was yesterday. I've never felt I'm a top notch writer, just a good enough writer and getting better and better. If you don't expect to be perfect, you're not disappointed when you aren't.

And the second thing I do is remind myself I'm not the worst writer out there. My son tells me that my work is as good or better than a lot of published work. We both know I'm not writing the next Gone With the Wind. And I'm writing YA, not the kind of book he normally reads. The fact he says it's at least decent is more than enough for me.

 

True, but the Midas touch was a curse, not a blessing. By not liking my own work that others enjoy I can never be sure that what I'm fixing to make it better for me is ruining what others liked in the first place. It's hard to calibrate how things should be, and almost impossible to confidently determine what to keep, what to change and what to remove, without fighting the uncertainty that such a change is a grave mistake. It's actually part of the reason it's driving me nuts.

 

I don't hate my writing. I like my writing or I wouldn't do it. I don't care what others say, or I don't care enough to let it stop my writing or change what I write. I just keep writing, regardless.

 

Actually - I love my writing. I couldn't write if I didn't. I get major frustrated with it though. And some things don't work. And there are times when I think - shee - that stinks. But the great thing about writing is it keeps growing and getter better. It's not stagnant. I love reaching new moments when a sentence just clicks. When I can express what I want without forcing it.

 

I said this elsewhere and will say it again - I'm glad you exist.

 

If you know more than I, please correct me if I'm wrong:

I heard Stephen King hated his debut novel Carrie, and considered trashing it. However, his wife convinced him that it was good, and he went forward with getting it published. People loved it, and it launched him into fame.

So, I think it's natural for you to hate your own work (I certainly do most times). Even some of the greatest authors of our time have hated work that became classics. I've found people tend to be extra critical of their own work, which isn't a bad thing; it means you'll constantly work to improve it. Just know that hating your own writing doesn't mean it's bad; it seems to be natural.