1. hawapoawa

    hawapoawa New Member

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    Help developing a premise into a plot

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by hawapoawa, Sep 23, 2017.

    Hello, I hope everyone who happens upon this post has a wonderful day. Please take some time out of that wonderful day to help me with my ordeal. As you can see from the title I need help fleshing out a premise I thought of. I don't know if I will eventually make this a webcomic or a web novel or where this idea might go but I want to develop it.



    Here is what I have. Mind you it's a very cut and dry bare bone summary( I literally just came up with this idea 15 mins prior to posting[​IMG]) (This no longer stands as I copy&pasted this post I wrote on another forum from yesterday):


    MC goes out with Idol girl/Girl #1. Their relationship must be kept secret for various reasons. Out of self-preservation and an opportune misunderstanding, the MC begins a fake relationship with Girl # 2, Idol Girl's close friend possibly her best friend. The MC and his real girlfriend decide this facade is advantageous to them at the expense of Girl # 2 feelings. As time goes on Girl #2's feelings for the protagonist grow and Idol Girl's feelings do not waver. Stuck at a crossroad the MC realizes nothing good can come of this situation. What can he do as things begin to pile on him? What stands to be lost?


    Some clarifications: When I say Idol Girl, I do not mean it in the sense of a performer in the musical industry (though that is a possibility). I just mean that the first girl has a role that can't be compromised with a public relationship. I haven't been able to come up with anything believable. Any suggestions?


    I am loosely inspired by the anime School Days which I never ever watched. Just the final anime ed scene which honestly wasn't as bad as people set it out to be. For those of you who are not familiar with this series basically on girl sets up her close male friend with another girl and they become a couple. The first girl is pretty dumb because she starts cheating with the male friend. Which of course why would you set two people up to date if you were just gonna cheat and you knew you wanted to date them? Anyway, the girl and the main boy end up getting murdered because the third girl was psycho(though the first chick was psycho as well).


    Another major inspiration is the lowkey manga Saotome Girl, Hitakakusu. Which I follow and recommend 100%. The basic premise is that a boy is in a secret relationship with his school's female boxing champion who is a hero in their hometown. This is where I got the idea for a compromising role which forces the MC to keep his relationship secret. This manga, however, is extremely lighthearted so you can see where the influence form School Days comes in. I have always had a lust for crazy drama in the media I consume and I decided I wanted to create some of my own. Often times when someone recommends anything to me and say it's "drama" I find it to be too tame for my taste. IDK lol.


    My characters: Most of the main cast are selfish and somewhat immature given their age. I don't think I want to deal with mature characters but give them an excuse for not being mature to reconsider their actions. I use the word mature and not moral because I don't want to make my characters bad people, just that they make a mistake that gets out of hand. Also, I believe that super hype drama wouldn't come from mature characters who handle their problems reasonably.


    A lot of times I feel super bad for my characters but I am trying to learn that they are just an ends to my needs. And so I'm willing to play around with their "lives" for the sake of a good story.


    Setting: A better than average American high school. Perhaps a melting pot of diversity. I am looking to create a setting where this situation is not only believable but is intensified. So some of you might say well you already said American highschool how more dramatic can you get? Perhaps an area or city inspired by a certain region might be better suited. IDK anything you can think of.


    What sort of setting, characters, roles do you think would maximize the potential drama of this story?


    What demographic/age range comes to mind when you read this premise?


    How would you react if you were any one of the mentioned characters? The MC? Idol Girl? Especially for Girl#2? How would you react when you found out?


    Branching off of this question I do want a fight scene to happen. I wouldn't mind if there were a couple.[​IMG] I just have to execute it properly.


    I believe for the sake of this story I will give the male MC the agency to choose between the girls. And I believe I want to address this in the story perhaps by a caring female associate of one of the two girls.Though I'm still not sure. Also post your suggestion on how this love triangle could play out.


    Do you think if I did a harem ending it would make the story cheap and shitty?


    When you read this premise what emotions did I invoke in you?


    Please any comments or suggestions are absolutely needed here.
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Is it mandatory that Girl #2 not know what's up? What if she volunteers to help with the situation? What if it helps her somehow? (Maybe she has a girlfriend in a homophobic society or family and pretending to have a boyfriend keeps people from realizing that?)
     
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  3. hawapoawa

    hawapoawa New Member

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    I could very well adopt those ideas. As you said it's not "mandatory", it's just that I initially saw it developing into a heterosexual love triangle. And I thought with this type of situation I could write a less than sympathetic MC who makes a selfish and bad decision. My sister actually also suggested that Girl # 2 be in on the fake relationship somehow. Your suggestion does add another believable compromising role into the fray as well. It's just that for now, I would like to keep my options open and see how many other ways I can develop the story. Thanks for your reply it got me thinking though.
     
  4. IHaveNoName

    IHaveNoName Senior Member Community Volunteer

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    You should watch the rest of School Days. It's horrifying.

    Girl #1 is....
    * Engaged to someone else (arranged marriage - still common in some cultures).
    * Heir to a company (or something similarly high-profile, where dating someone below her station would be bad).

    What I don't get is, why is the MC involved with Girl 2? Does he need to be in a relationship? Is it because someone suspects him of dating Girl 1, so he needs to prove otherwise?
     
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