1. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    Help with setting up a scene/plot point (this is kinda long, pls bear with me)

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by CVWilliam, Nov 22, 2018.

    So, my main character is dealing with a very traumatic experience that's broken her as a person (er...Vampyre) and twisted her into someone driven by vengeance. She was buried alive by a monster hunter and has spent 15 years in the ground hibernating against her will. When she is accidentally woken due to deforestation (the land she was buried in got leveled to build factories and property), she is essentially a desiccated corpse and is too weak to even overpower and feed off of the workers there, so she runs away and hides until she regenerates enough to buy a hotel (people might run away at the sight of a mummy walking towards the front desk of a Marriott).

    One of the main plot points is that she's still young enough that her human family is around, and her father had been suffering from cancer for a while. She had secretly been planning to turn him in order to save his life, but her family was vehemently against it. By the time she wakes up and tries to visit them, he had already succumbed to his illness, since it'd been so long. Her absence also led to her being ejected from her coven, as another Vampyre had filled her position already.

    She directs her anger towards the monster hunter that buried her alive and wants him to feel her own pain. How would I set this up without it seeming like she's chewing the scenery and make her seem genuinely menacing and like a force of nature?
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    I think you've left out some details. (1) why she has enough money to buy a hotel and (2) what you mean by "turn him in". Is her father a criminal?
     
  3. making tracks

    making tracks Active Member

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    I think they meant 'turn him, in order to save his life' as in turn him into a vampire.

    I'm not quite sure what you're looking for, but do you mean while she regains her strength before she can go and get vengeance? I think showing her in a really battered, degraded state but carrying on any way and really pushing herself to become strong again shows a fierceness in itself, not everyone has that drive. You could also put her up against other vampires as she tries to regain her spot in her coven.
     
  4. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    making tracks is correct, I meant turn him as in make him a Vampyre.

    and she has some bank accounts and funds still remaining from her time in the coven. I should've said buy a hotel room
     
  5. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    1. yes, you're correct, that is what I meant. She wanted to make her dying father a Vampyre so she wouldn't lose him. Her brother and stepmother were railing hard against that notion, though.
    2. she was buried for 15 years in the ground and without feeding, so she is very weak for a while until she regenerates enough to go and seek vengeance.

    and those are actually very good ideas, I might run with 'em
     
  6. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    are members of this forum allowed to bump topics/threads? If so, then I'd appreciate any feedback at all
     
  7. making tracks

    making tracks Active Member

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    I'm afraid not. From the rules:
    • Thread bumping is not allowed. (appending posts to bring a thread to the top or to get it more attention)
    I know it gets frustrating when you want a reply but I think allowing it could lead to some people just spamming.
     

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