I suppose so. I was ranting about this recently to someone, but I'll post it in a more appropriate thread so as not to derail. I'm pretty sure this horse is just pink mush at this point anyway.
Describe a character, or anything for that matter in its emotional state. It's why we often infuse human characters with animalistic qualities, and animal characters with human traits. This is from my WIP... the first is quick and dirty exposition about a rough-and-tumble Scotsman, who is likened to a "disheveled lion". The second passage is a quick description of a magpie, whose disposition is that of a, "Bombay pickpocket". Engage the reader by simply pricking up their senses; allow them to fill in the blanks as they wish. For a middle-aged man, Gael retained a tireless vitality. The man who managed animal acts at an opera house in decline — and at present, with a twelve-year-old girl in tow — resembled a disheveled lion that had an appetite for bourbon and brothels. A deep scar cut across his left cheek, a souvenir he had acquired on one of his travels; whether it was given him by a leopard or bear, one could not be certain, for the details — embellished always with wine — had a habit of changing from one telling to the next. Only the perpetrator herself — a jealous lover, a Negress from one of the southern islands — knew the full truth. Rosemarie shut the doors behind her, and entered the brightly lit apartment; an enormous oak table strewn with the instruments of the tailor’s trade took up the center of the room; on the far corner of which sat an elaborate birdcage, home to the second floor’s most thieving, and untidy resident; an acquisitive black and white magpie that welcomed each visitor with the aplomb of a Bombay pickpocket.
Gangsters never wear three piece suits. The vest is not flattering to the mafioso physique. The off-color lapels that Pesci has can sometimes work, though it's definitely a 70s vibe here. And I prefer a tie clip to Deniro's button. My favorite one is black onyx with a diamond in the center. And I have one shaped like a submarine from when my grandfather was a union rep in the Groton shipyards. This is a three piece: Note how this says Wall Street more than Mulberry. You need to be fairly slim and tapered to pull it off. I have one Ralph Lauren linen three-piece that makes me look a bit silly know that I'm for top heavy than I used to be.
Also three pieces make ir really difficult to wear a shoulder hoster, and a belt clip one really spoils the line of the suit
it was just a fast 20 second, off the top of my head, cross-section of a bouncer you would not want to mess with...could it be better, of course... this is where I find the editorial and the critiquing process vital to getting small details right. As a writer I want to have fun with my characters,and after it is all said and done, I honestly believe, this is what matters.If a person is not having fun with the characters, what hell are they writing for. This includes exploring weepy sadness, get it out teenage angst, if need be. If the writer is enjoying it, then go for it, get it out there, just be open to the editorial process, and use this process to hone the story in.
Granted it is from Once Upon a Time in America, but to say they do not wear a vest, or it doesn't look right is wrong. From experience I can say, tailored suits at a Sicilian wedding, back east in Montreal, included vests. Baciamo le mani, old world, before things went south, a la Americana. I grew up at a sicilian dinner table, with stories, of what it used to be like in the old country. Things like how they found the bride and groom in a rabbit hole 20 years after they disappeared on their honey moon. Yet my dad hated the sicilian stereotype of you must be connected, do you know anyone? When in reality in the old world, the capo was more like a judge or mayor, because there was no law enforcement to speak of back then. So people went to them to settle disputes, over chickens disappearing or neighborhood boys being up to no good, needing to be set straight. -- mascalzone amonini
lol, last time I was in Sicily everyone was "non c'e problema e un cugino, amonini" (everyone was a cousin) and the gates to various attractions shut down for the winter would magically open, to the phrase "un espresso, ti piace" as the demitasse make their appearance. Of course, me, I would say "un americano per favore", not that I didn't like espresso, but damn the coffee was good in Sicily. I loved my daughter's synopsis at the end of the trip, "we are pretty important in our little town" ... she was thirteen, and didn't understand we were just guests being catered to. Someday I will need to write about my Godfather-esque moment, on the night I almost discovered the family secret.
To the OP, I have two 'rules' on how to describe my MC in First-person Narrative. 1. Have other Characters 'compliment/insult' the MC on certain features of his or her. 2. The MC can describe his or herself if something drastic and dramatic has just occurred to their physical appearance. -OJB
a 3rd to this, is if a MC must at all have to describe themselves. I use comparisons. "I wish I had red hair like so and so, all I have is this shit brown, the models make it look nice, but I feel my hair is dull in comparison to so and so. No one would give me attention for my hair the way they give so and so their hair". [I mean this is a vanity example, there are other examples of doing it this way]
Are you sure? Maybe the reader wants to imagine them wearing three piece suits, you know? Maybe that's just the image they have in their head of a gangster and you should just let them imagine whatever they want. Because after all, readers like to just imagine things however they want and it just doesn't matter at all, does it? Hell, even saying they are wearing a suit is too much description, isn't it? Why not let the reader imagine whatever clothes they want? Why not let the reader decide for themselves everyone in your book is naked if that's how they want to read it. After all, it's not like that effects the reading of the characters at all, does it? Their train of thought for how they pick their suits; whether by fashion or function or because their wife likes it; definitely tells us nothing we need to know about this character. And it's definitely not important to describe these important, authentic details in your work is it? Better to just leave it out, right? Because obviously none of these things matter. And anyway, the readers want to make up their own shit. They don't care if it's more authentic; they want waistcoats and who are you to tell them that they aren't there? It's not like it's your book. It's not like how people look actually matters. And that itself proves exactly what I've said all along. Hey look guys! A tiny physical detail that you should include because it matters. It's almost like every character has some pertinent details that matter enough to tell the reader! It's almost like describing them is important! It's almost like it changes the reading of the text to leave it out. And yet this is still a thread where people have seriously claimed that it literally doesn't matter what a lead character looks like. But fortunately all you need to answer that is to say that, actually, it does matter if he's wearing a waistcoat or not. And maybe some might say that this doesn't prove anything, the everything must earn it's keep and be a detail that really matters. And all that it takes to answer that is to look at a photo. Because if you form opinions of people based on looking at them then you know that it matters to you how people look. You know you form opinions and draw inferences on all people all the time just by looking at them. You don't wait for the guy with the crazy eyes and a drool flecked beard to act crazy at someone before you walk away. You knew it when you looked at him. Because it matters how he looks. It matters enough for you to draw conclusions about. Every single person, every single day. And yet; how your main character looks apparently doesn't matter, right? Except in all the cases where it tells us something about them, right? Which is all the cases. Because they are people. And how people look informs how we think of them, perhaps even wrongly, but it always does inform things. How people look matters to other people. And you know that, because you have looked at people. And you know that you are treated differently based on how you look. You know that it matters how you dress, how you do your hair. The only people where it doesn't matter what they look like are the people that we aren't supposed to notice. But I'm sure someone will still tersely disagree; will say I'm just wrong and no matter how many reasons are given that appearance matters, it still doesn't really matter in the general sense. Fortunately I have an answer prepared for that eventuality. If you think that how you look doesn't matter to other people then kindly strip yourself naked, daub yourself in filth and then go speed dating. And once you've done that, and confirmed that not one single person thought how you looked gave some insight into who you are; then maybe I will take this criticism seriously. But absent that I think it's safe to say that appearance matters. No, not every single detail of someone's appearance. But appearance generally always matters. It always tells us something. And no matter how many instances you can come up with where eye colour specifically doesn't matter; I would be much more interested to see some instances you think that can pass the 'naked and smeared in shit' test; situations where not even one single aspect of someone's appearance would matter and they could be naked and covered in poop and it would not effect the reading of the scene.
One of my MCs is a burn victim from an incendiary. My fem MC is in love with him, and not because she thinks he is attractive due to his condition. Granted I am not writing a Romance, but rather a dark war story. So it really matters little when it comes to what MCs look like. (Also you need to lighten up guy. It is not good for your health to be so negative of others ideas and concepts. Just a thought.) Character before looks, matters more when it comes down to it. Good looks don't make a character who they are, but what they do does. Pretty does not equal good, nor does ugly equal bad. What they do defines them. Your scat fet, is none of our business, by the by.
People should stop worrying about 'rules' and just write. IMO there's only one rule when it comes to writing, and that is that there are no rules. Write what's on your mind, and if you're happy with it, leave it as it is. Some readers will love it, while others will hate it. That's just the way it is. H.
If you're going to make the effort of including gangsters, or any historical group of people, it pays to portray them accurately. Or at least justify why they're dressed wrong. Because of reasonable inference. Readers assume they're dressed. Age, year, location, and disposition can all inform dress without explicitly mentioning it. Eh. Most people on most days are dressed in such unremarkable clothes that all you can really infer is who's a college student, who works at an office, and who works at a supermarket. And you're right, we all make snap judgements, but we also often correct them. They're pretty harmless most often. The problem is, this is a story -- not real life. If I read a character who is meticulous about their appearance because they know people make snap judgments, I would find that character neurotic and self-absorbed. He/she had better be a Patrick Bates to care what other people are thinking to that degree. It needs to fit with the character. The inner workings of the mind -- the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of the meat sack. Not the fabrics on its skin. It's not. You don't get to get away with making sweeping generalizations. You are wrong. Not in any way that's ever really mattered. Unless you're operating near the ends of this spectrum with shit like with racists and fucking court jesters, there are far more interesting things to describe. Physical appearances are superficially relevant and offer very little to character development beyond the broadest of strokes. Real life ≠ stories, so this is just nonsense.
In my opinion, you don't really have to. If you really want to then you can dot the details sporadically. I hope that I've been a little help... though, I doubt it.
An ankle holster is bugger all use if you want it in a hurry... if its that small you're better off putting it in your pocket (or spot welding a clip to the side and sticking it inside your waistband)
You're so right. I've even stopped writing my novel because I've been so worried about grammar, punctuation or even the rhythm of the sentence. It made me second guessed my writing skills. I'm so disappointed in myself because I don't even have the same passion for it. I need to stay out of this forum for a while too. LOL, I get caught up in the do's and don'ts.
I haven't read all five pages of answers so I don't know what's been said. I like to keep details that are important pretty close to the beginning of the story. That way the reader gets the right impression. Right now in my WIP the mc is short - that becomes important so I put that up front. Also his hair is a disaster (revealed in chapter 1 )- he burns a streak through it and later on his mother attempts to bleach it for an audition and his hair turns orange so I allowed for that scene to also bring in other facts -- he feels totally sabotaged and yells just when I thought I couldn't get any uglier. Action can also really bring descriptions to life in a way that doesn't feel forced but a seamless conclusion. For instance if your mc is 6 ft he could remark how his girlfriend walked the edge of a curb to bring herself to his height or something. Or he could compare himself to someone in a passing thought or during a meeting or conversation. I would avoid the mirror move, though.
