1. Mark Vidal

    Mark Vidal New Member

    Jun 18, 2009
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    Hi everyone.

    Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Mark Vidal, Jun 18, 2009.

    Got a novella or around 33,000 words... or is that too large?

    The title is "The Strong Girl"

    below is a synopsis.

    April 25, 2009 Synopsis of “The Strong Girl”

    Rebecca Johnson is a small town high school girl from a poor, dysfunctional family were her mother is a battered housewife. In addition to being intelligent and exceptionally beautiful, this impoverished teenager also has a gift for acting. A staunch, opinionated feminist, Rebecca holds many deeply held convictions not the least of which is her opposition to anything concerning the military, especially involvement in Iraq.
    In her civics class, she comes in contact with a young soldier who is visiting to give a recruitment pitch. Although she finds herself romantically taken by the soldier, Rebecca remains loyal to her boyfriend.
    While rehearsing for her staring role in her high school play, Rebecca catches the attention of movie executive Tommy Morrison. Tommy takes Rebecca to the kind of expensive restaurant that she has never been to before and offers what is to her a large sum of money to star in a movie. Rebecca gladly accepts having no idea what is behind Tommy’s offer.
    Rebecca’s boyfriend, Johnny Thompson, is a poor student whose only goal in life is to become a mechanic for a trucking company so that he can afford to marry Rebecca. When the trucking company shuts down, Johnny joins the army as a way to earn money and receive training. On credit, he is finally able to buy an engagement ring that he’s been eyeing for sometime.
    During a hot day, while protesting against an army recruitment center being set up at her school, Rebecca faints. When she learns that she is pregnant, Rebecca invites Johnny over to tell him and to ask him to drive her to an abortion clinic. Johnny arrives, ring in hand, only to be disappointed to hear that despite loving him, Rebecca feels they are both too young for marriage and children.
    When Johnny presses her further on why she won’t marry him, Rebecca tells him that she has met a movie executive who has given her a start as an actress. Upon hearing this, Johnny concludes that Rebecca has slept with this man and tells her so. To this, Rebecca reacts with sudden violence whereupon Johnny leaves her to go off to begin his career as a soldier.
    Rebecca’s movie is a huge success and Rebecca uses all of the money she has earned from it to pay off her mother’s house. Back at financial square one, she now hopes to make another movie. Tommy obliges by offering her another movie for more money. He also takes her to meet a female general who ingratiates herself with the now famous young actress.
    While at a party hosted by the general, she meets the young soldier who had visited her class, the general’s son. The two are attracted to each other and in the course of their evening together, the young soldier takes Rebecca on a tour of a military base. There, they come across something unexpected, something that reminds Rebecca of the horror of war.
    Rebecca is profoundly upset by what she sees and Tommy feels bad for the young lady who he considers a “sweet kid.” While trying to help her deal with her feelings, Tommy reveals to Rebecca the real agenda behind her rise to stardom. The agenda is to use Rebecca as a spokesman for military recruitment. It is an agenda in which she must remain a part if she is to continue living her newly found, privileged life style.
    Once again, Rebecca reacts violently but ultimately; she gives in as money triumphs over principal.
  2. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    May 19, 2007
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    Massachusetts, USA
    Hello Mark, Welcome to the Writing Forums.

    A synopsis has very little value. Everything depends on how well the actual piece is written.

    In any case, posting your own work should not be among the very first things you do here. It is worth taking the time to see what other people have done to improve their writing, and see if some of it applies to your writing as well. That is part of why we require members to review other members' work before posting their own for review. On the other hand, there are no restrictions, other than content and copyright rules, on showcasing your work in your member blog.

    If you haven't explored the site yet, you should probably do so soon. Newcomers often gravitate to the Lounge, the Word Games, or the Review Room, but there is much more to be discovered if you poke in the corners. Remember to check out our FAQ as well, and be sure to read through the forum rules, too, to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Respect for one another is our principal mandate.

    As for the Review Room, new joiners often wonder why we do things a bit differently on this site than on other writing sites. We emphasize constructive critique as a vital writing skill. Training your eye by reviewing other people's work helps you improve your own writing even before you present it for others to see. Therefore, we ask members to review other people's writing before posting work of their own. The Review Room forums on this site, therefore, are true workshops, not just a bulletin board for displaying your work (and on that note, please only post each item for review in one Review Room forum). Also, please use the same thread for all revisions and additional excerpts from the same piece of writing. See this post, Why Write Reviews Before Posting My Work? for more information.

    And while you're looking around, don't forget to check out our Weekly Short Story Contest and Weekly Poetry Contest. They actually run more than one week apiece, but any member may enter, and all members are urged to vote for their favorites.

    Enjoy your stay here, and have fun!
  3. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Nov 21, 2006
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    Coquille, Oregon
    also, unless you're in the uk, there's next to no market for novellas...

    that said, since this is about a teenager, are you targeting the YA market with it?...

    if so, then a novel can be shorter than the generally preferred 80-100k for first adult novels by new and unknown writers... you'll have to check out the preferred length for YA in guidelines of YA publishers...

    and cog is dead on, in re posting synopses... what are we supposed to tell you from that?... we can't tell you if the book'll be marketable, or not, since it's the quality of the writing that will determine that, not the plot... what i can say is that it doesn't sound at all believable...

    anyway, welcome to the forums!

    love and hugs, maia

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