It's a summer's day - temperature reaching the hundreds. You're that crazy millionaire who requests a swimming pool filled with pure chocolate. Of course you dive in and drink the gooey-goodness. Oh, you try to swim up for air but can't 'cause it's thickening. In the end, the swimming pool had turned into a giant under-cooked brownie. Did I mention you're diabetic as well?
So you're in the thing with the glass walls and the money flying around everywhere, right? And you have to grab as much money as you can in a short amount of time? Paper cuts. Thousands of money paper cuts (new bills?), and to top it all off, you only grabbed ten lousy bucks, which isn't nearly enough to pay your medical expenses, so you die of irritation. From the thousand paper cuts.
You drive for a handicap service. After picking up your blind passenger you decide to fuel up before proceeding. You just get the propane hose in the clip to fill up when you look through the window of your vehicle, you passenger is lighting up a cigarette.
The new mall. You cut the ribbon. You smile. You pose. You walk and wave in a distracted manner. You look nice in your new necktie. You don't notice the slippery spot where juice spilled onto the platform of the escalator entry area. The silk finery is trapped between two moving stairs of death.
You are in your TEVD (Terra-Exploration-Vehicle-Drive) about to explore a new planet. Your ship descends into the atmosphere and is about to open the hatch. When the hatch opens, a loud explosion of air erupts, followed by the sound of crunching metal and you're unconsious in a matter of seconds. What happened? The idiot pilot forgot to adjust the air pressure between the planet and the chamber you were in.
Being crushed by the body of a paramedic thrown from the open door of an ambulance swinging out wildly on a sharp corner after being struck by a repair truck that had clipped the corner of a panelbeaters yard whose walls had sagged outwards, a collapsed construction crane having fallen on the roof. In a hospital parking lot.
So someone's giving you the Hiemlich Manuver. Tragically, they break your ribs, causing a lung to be puncture. You die choking on your own blood.
In the supermarket doing a little shopping. Pop a couple of seedless grapes in you mouth, unfortunately one lodges in your throat, you collapse, pass out and die in the fresh aisle.
While posting his reply to a word game one of the electrons in the centermost pixel on his screen went amuck and instead of being like all the other pixels and having a assemblage of all the colors that could be contained in a 32 bit display, the errant electrical hooligan concentrated all of its electrical impulses from the screen into the brightest shade of red possible. The hue burned a hole in the Word Forum member's retina and proceeded to continue on through his cerebellum burning a laser sized hole until all motor function was dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Teenage boy climbing a ladder to bring down a frighten cat on the roof, climbing down the ladder with the cat in his arms as people applause, girl he likes call, can't resist picking up the phone, misstep, he fells down and dies. The cat lives. *This is actually a true incident happened in my town. Sad, but funny.
Trying on your newly aqquired, hypermodern, ultra light and extremely strong magnetic suit, walk out of the store you have just bought it in only to realise that the store next door sells knives. Lots and lots of razor sharp knives.
Working at a fast food drive-through window you hand over the sixth bag (of seven) to a very impatient and upset customer when suddenly the driver says, "this is BS!", quickly raises his window and slams on the gas no knowing your shirt cuff is caught between the car window and the door frame. Your ragdoll body is whooshed out of the drive up and is dragged along side the minivan when all of a sudden the driver stops, sees your shirt cuff, rolls down the window, glares at your bloody lifeless body and shouts, "you forgot the ketchup, moron!"
Walking down the steet you see the sign "Under New Management, Closed For Renovations" on the front of what appears to be a restaurant. Looking at the address on the slip of paper in your hand you check the address, yes they are the same. "Well, time to go to work." Trying the front door you find it locked, so slipping around the building you find the back one is indeed open. Going inside you flip the light switch, not knowing one of the gas lines was broken inside the building so, to quick to react to the resulting explosion, everything goes out in a blinding flash of light and searing heat. You open your eyes and sit up suddenly as the memories of what just happened come slamming home in your mind, only to find yourself not outside of a charred and burning building, but surrounded by a ground fog, and there is a silence in the air you've never experienced before. Getting up you see a set of gates off in the distance, and before long you are gliding effortlessly towards them. Stopping before the gates you notice a sign has been put up on them: "Under New Management, Closed For Renovations"
Your a ugly man who likes to kill little girls. You see a girl and offer her a ride. She tells you to beat it but you persist. Something hits your head and you fall of a cliff. What hit you head? Icecicle.
a man was shot by a pistol-armed bad guy but he did not died in bullet but instead by hitting his head to an approaching cab owned by a reggae man with newly-repaired bumpers
Two men decide to reenact the light saber battle between Obi Wan Kinobi and Darth Vader, to do so they use the following: two 5ft long 1inch diameter fluorescent light bulbs, two pints of gasoline, and stupidity. The each pop off the end of their respective bulb, insert gasoline, light afire, and march callously into battle. Crash and burn, literally. Fiber glass isn't that strong.
Kidney stone acting up while on a romantic date, drinking lots of water, died due to bladder burst on the way up to her apartment.
Lead singer of a rock band. Wails "I'm gonna live forever" only to be crushed by a badly rigged spotlight.
You hail for a cab, but are shocked that you're doing the Nazi salute. In response, you are attacked and beaten by a bunch of guys thinking you're a neo-Nazi supporter. EDIT: The people who beat you? They are Jews. And they just left the synagouge. AND it's after Hannukah.
