I'm 18 right now currently unemployed, live at home, and everything that's going on is taking a huge toll on me. I feel mentally and psychically exhausted from all this stress and I am really alone here at the moment. One of my major concerns right now is the terrible social life I have. I only have about two best friends right now, and I hardly see them because I can never make plans with them because they simply don't seem to want to hang out so I'm basically stuck sitting at home for days unless I want to go somewhere alone which is always a downer. I'm so tired of being alone, and over the last two months I have been searching for a job and really trying to put myself out there, but at times I wonder what the point of it all is anymore. I just say.."Yes I'll get a job.. then what"? I just want to have companions. Normal friends that I can actually hang out with. I just feel like I'll start working and I won't make any friends in the workplace and I'll just be waking up everyday, working, coming home and being alone all over again. I just want things to get better you know? I got over my ex a few months ago so thats no longer an issue but the social isolation is prolonging my horrible anxiety disorder that I rather not disclose because its so uncommon most people don't understand it, and my terrible friends aren't helping either. I just don't have any outlook on life anymore. I don't know what I want to do with my future anymore, and I wake up everyday wondering what I'll do today, what I'm going to be doing next week, and I fear that another year will go by without accomplishing anything. I was once told that you will miss 99% of the shots you don't take, but my problem is I simply don't know where to aim. Last month I developed this huge interest in pursuing acting, but since then that interest has greatly decreased and I feel somewhat discouraged because of the fact that it's a difficult field to break into. I am stuck at crossroads in my life where I am just unable to figure out which path to take. This is what I have going on right now. Just neverending worries and constantly trying to figure out what to do. I want a brighter future but if only I knew how to find it. I don't know.. Maybe once I get a job then things will come into perspective but for now, It's overbearing and I am trying to hang in there. You guys have no idea how bad of a place I am in right now. I won't get into too much detail but thats what I am trying to say so far. I'm just so desperate for companionship, just so I don't have to feel alone anymore. I remember when I was in a relationship last year, I never had any of these worries because I was always with my girlfriend and I always had plans with her. I never had to worry about this. But right now as a teenager I feel like I'm wasting my life away while other kids my age are out living it up and here I am day in and out wasting away like a pathetic little loser, and I can't believe I let things get this bad. I don't know. Maybe I should move away, I have no idea where to go or what to do anymore. I want to escape this solitude, and I also feel like I've missed out on so many teenage experiences. Partying, having fun, social events like that, I have never experienced them. I was really social last year but things took a turn for the worst. I just feel like I will never get to experience these things. Especially since I live In NYC, you'd think making friends would be easy but when you don't know where to start it gets complicated. Oh, how I wish I could just finally get employed, and make a bunch of friends at work that would invite me to social gatherings and to little events where I could be surrounded by people all the time and have fun, but unfortunately thats not the world we live in. Ain't life just grand..?