In the story I am currently writing I have a character who has a pretty good sense of humor she loves to joke around and such, but I don't want to make my readers groan with every one liner that comes out of her mouth. I am now debating this line "I suppose in this particular situation I should follow the light." I have two questions about it, first obviously is it to cheesy? Secondly do you think that the whole "don't go into the light joke is a bit to modern" It's a fantasy world and doesn't have technology at all but I wouldn't say it's set on earth in the past, it's a whole different world. I would love some more opinions on this!
Without the context, it's hard to say whether it's "cheesy" (I'm not sure that's how I'd express it) or not. But you don't need her to be joking around all the time...just enough to give the reader the impression that she's like that...and you can do that by having other characters around her groaning at "not that again, Megan". But, if it's meant to be humorous (Terry Pratchett?), let it rip. Just make sure that it is funny, and not just you having fun. As far as being "too modern"...it depends on what the rest of the scenario is like. One of my personal turn-offs is some sort of mediaeval style tale (fantasy or genuine history) where the dialogue could be from a modern-day Hollywood cop drama...we started to watch Reign the other night, and had to give up (final straw) when one character started talking like a Management Consultant, with the latest business-speak.
Yes I am thinking I will have to rewrite this line but I am not sure how (it is highlighted along with all the other things I plan to go back and fix). The book itself is not supposed to be a comedy (I'd call it more of an fantasy adventure), but I do feel like every story can use a good laugh here and there. I don't believe she will joke all the time just when a good opportunity comes around. In this particular scene she is by herself in a dark room and is trying to make light of the situation to make herself feel better by making a joke about the popular saying don't go into the light. Also humor is a lot like beauty in the sense that it is in the eye of the beholder. It made me chuckle but I love cheesy humor. My biggest problem is I am the same way I hate when modern speech leaks into a not modern story. It drives me up the wall. Do you think that the joke about not going into the light is a modern day joke? Perhaps I should research the origins of that saying to fully answer my own question.
I have a lot of one liners, and even a few puns. One person didn't like them (but she didn't like anything about my book ) and everybody else has either not commented, or commented that the humour is their favourite part. Going 'into the light' as a metaphor for dying has probably been around for centuries. It's a physical reaction (synapses firing in the brain or something?) to dying, and I'm sure people have been almost-dying-but-coming-back-at-the-last-minute since forever.
