How Come I Am Not a Vampire?

I prefer this portrayal myself: -

 

Bill Nighy makes that movie, well besides Kate Beckinsale for the plot. But Bill Nighy as Viktor dropping his vampire rage, epic.
Vampire, like a boss.

 

well, then impaler thousands of turks and maybe it will happen. i don't know, if you want to be a vampire so bad but have never killed anyone then i would say it isn't for you. how about being a hipster? while not blood suckers they do suck. hmmmmm? sound good? maybe learn how to parkour?

 

Psssh.
Vampires representing the hometown in Area 5:

 

I think the shift in our perception of vampires really reflects the shift in YA culture.

In the 80s we had the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a hot, blonde, popular cheerleader, who kills pale, night obsessed weirdos wearing black leather jackets. Even the first guy to become a vampire was first predefined as a social outcast.


In the 90s we saw two big vampire franchises. The first was Blade, which fueled every young white male's obsession with the big, tough gangsta. With the advent of raves, it also made vampires sexier. Take the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, also 90s, which started out as another popular kid beats up social loser portrayal, then add in geeky friends , a librarian mentor, and eventually two Hunkish male vampire lovers, and you can already see how both franchises were paving the way to the present, where,

In 2000(the decade) we just forgot about humans entirely, and sulked with the crew in Underworld, who did nothing but pout and look attractive. Make Kate Beckongsdale the lead vampire ,strap on some tight fitting leather pants, and suddenly we can see how vampires are cool. suddenly it's OK to be an emo baby.

Flash forward to today. Vampires are awesome. I could tell you what I think it means but I'm more curious about everyone else's opinion.

 

I dunno, hasn't the vampire trend kind of run its course now? I mean vampires have been pretty much killed off by Twiglet and that other crap whose name I forget.

By the way, you forgot Lost Boys.

 

Good movie.

 

So, the 70's were the last decade of small town plaguing monsters with Salem's Lot?

 

They had movies in the 70's?

 

And the first recorded history of dirt.

 

No absolutely vampires are done. If you're upset thank twilight. Like honestly as writers we're supposed to be creative. It's time for a new monster.

 

Faceless, you need to chill. We got a couple million little girls who disagree with you. Vampires are in and people today suck(PUN NOT INTENDED). What can we do?

 

Because its what they know, we need to hit the drawing room. Come up with something great and easy to understand. Then ruin it, add sparkles and turn it into a " he's a bad boy with a jaded past" toss in a "I don't want you to get hurt" and we'll be fine. Also British accents, we know if the new monster doesn't have a British accent then it never had a chance. So accents, scruff beards, and leather jackets everywhere.

 

A British monster with a scruffy beard and a fancy car who maintains his immortality by absorbing "sex energy" from having sex with different women. He has to choose life or monogamy while his lover has to choose his mortality or let him have different partners.

 

He also has to act like its the worse curse ever. " I don't want to have sex with all these gorgeous women, but for you I must. It's the only way to keep you safe."
"But Ignacio, we can run away together!"
"I only wish that was possible, but the [insert name of British, scruffy beard having, luxury car driving monster organization] will hunt us down wherever we go. You see i have to do it, again and again. For you."
"Oh, Ignacio I love you!"
"I know, girl I just met last week. Wait here while I go into this strip club. Seriously though, you're my ride home."

 

But the number of British sex monsters with fancy cars is growing and you can only absorb sex energy from a person once, so they have underground sex slave farms where women are "consumed" and discarded which would make them more or less evil

 

All that, like... all of it... Is the white court vampires from The Dresden Files XD @Garball @J Faceless

 

Haha, classic. I was being super generic, but of course that would already be a thing.

 

How about a race of shallow beings who obtain sustenance by consuming beverages made from fermented substances in dark, smoke-filled buildings. They reproduce by implanting a parasitic larva in women through sex. The parasite not only steals nutrients from the woman, but also affects the host psychologically so that the woman nurses and supports the creature for nearly two decades.

 

OK, let's play a new game to get things back on track. What is your vampire fantasy (in 60 words or less)? I've already shared mine (being forced to kill my significant other, turned vampire) and Garball just shared his (having parasitic larva inseminated in him by aliens). What's yours?

 

Time to start writing demon stories about an Incubus.

 

Vampire fantasy? Two vampires, twin sisters.

 

Sorry, I (deliberately) forgot to explain all the rules of the game. Most unoriginal response loses the game and also my respect

 

So serving the cast and author of Twilight a dinner of stake and chips cannot be included?

 

Likewise for most obviously leading question.