So, I have no personal experience with abuse (thankfully). However, I’m planning on writing the main villain of my work as an abusive father who treats his children like disposable tools. The thing is, I don’t want it to be obvious that he’s abusive. It gradually comes out as the story progresses, and for a great portion of it he seems like a good father (although it’s clear from the beginning that he’s vicious). Suggestions?
Abuse does not work like you think. Abuse is so insidious because it places not only the pain, but the cover-up to be done, on the victim. As an example, growing up I lived on a farm, and we were expected to get good grades, but also to work hard on the farm. I would get done in the barn sometimes at 1 AM and be getting ready for school at at 6 AM. Needless to say I was falling asleep in class and let my grades slip. So we had hayloft that was one way in, and only one way out. My Grandfather surprised me inside there one afternoon with a axe handle (no axe head). He broke 11 of my ribs for not getting good grades, telling me it was my fault. But I told my mother that I had got tangled up with a bull, and that was how my ribs got broke. But my grandfather was kind of right because I got good grades after that, so whose fault was it? I want to say his, for making me work to 1 Am and swinging the axe handle, but then, after that I did work that late everyday, and still got good grades...so it was kind of my fault. I could do both when properly motivated. I was told just yesterday "I was too nice." But did I accomplish that because of my abuse, or despite it? That is the question to be debated. However, my point here is: my grandfather just swung the axe handle, it was up to me to hide who had done it. And that is how abusers work, they leave that part up to the abused. But the real torment was trying to figure out why the person who proclaimed they loved me, could hurt me so bad? Was it really for my own good? That was 26 years ago...
I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe I should rephrase my question. I’m wondering how to hide it from the audience, while still adequately foreshadowing it.
Its through a technique called "breadcrumbs". That is where in parts of your story where you are showing, and not really telling, you make note of details. A bruise on their right arm from a strike, or how a boy winces in pain reaching overhead because his father wrenched his arm back. Or a person is does not sit when they normally would, even though it is obvious they are tired of standing, because his bottom has welts. You just don't tell the whys of those statements I just made. For instance you describe them saying they just want to stand to a principal, have them be fidgety. To the reader, the boy has anxiety issues. LATER they find out why and put everything together. Readers are not dumb, they get the subtitles we weave into a story. You jus word it in such a way though that is eye-dropped added, just a hint and no more, so that in looking back at what they read, the reader gets the whole picture.
One caution however: abuse is rampant in society, and to me, abuse in a story has to be handled really delicately. It is kind of like a ravish scene in a book. Yes, for people to be ravished is incredibly too common in the world, and while we as writer's strive for realism, while we can write about almost anything legally, that does not mean we should. The reason for this is simple. Most people have never witnessed the realities of say a gruesome murder and so they can read about that because they are disengaged personally from it; they have never seen it. Abuse however is rampant, and I know just your question on here will trouble some readers. Your question is completely okay, its just abuse has touched so many people negatively that even reading your question, makes them queasy. Its a subject to tip-toe around.
The unfolding of Michael's character in The Wire was one of the best ways I've seen it inferred. Distrust of authoritative male figures with his best interest, disliking for physical contact...growing up too fast, hard to completely dissect it. I endorse a sort of write what you know rule for such matters so as not to come off as talking about what I do not have a right to, but that's just me... Fences (Denzel Washington) is a good film for insight, too. Think I've mentioned it before somewhere.
Hi Viserion This raises a lot of questions. Are we looking at the father's abuse from the perspective of his children or from his own? A child who has been abused by a parent can react in different ways. First, it might manifest itself in a desire to be distant/cold toward the parent which might seem odd or tragic to others who had non abusive parents. They might show a deep anxiety around them or desire to please them constantly, or modify their behaviour so as not to upset their parent. Like others have mentioned it can result in distrust of authoritative figures or even an entire sex as a whole. Some psychologists believe misogyny stems from abusive mothers, and plenty of women have avoided relationships with men because of distrust following abusive pasts. On the other hand if you're telling it from the father's perspective, consider that an abuser often doesn't know what they're doing to hurt someone. Abuse doesn't always mean just punching. It can be cold indifference to everything their child does or is enthusiastic about, constantly comparing them to others to belittle them, cornering them and reprimanding them severely for the smallest mistakes, accusing them without evidence, hypocrisy and silent judgment. An emotionally abused child might see a mother and daughter sharing a bond of absolute trust and despair - because they were robbed of that by their own selfish parent. A child might go looking for that connection for the rest of their life. Sometimes it's not intentional. Growing up, two members of my family suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. They were unstable, intolerant to other people's views, egotistical, paranoid, aggressive, jealous, bitter, and even today bully and humiliate those around them that they despise whenever they can, including me. These are the worst kinds of people to encounter - those who have a distorted sense of self and harm people around them, while maintaining that they are not at fault and that others are to blame for their failed relationships - totally unable to grasp the kind of person they truly are. Violence teaches children that violence is the answer to problems. This is why even the smallest amount of abuse is a dangerous thing. Hitting a child for bad behaviour has untold psychological effects yes - but the first and foremost thing it does is that it reinforces to an impressionable child that violence is a reasonable reaction. Two scenarios that might come about from that - either they embed that behaviour and unwittingly carry it on. Or they vehemently let it guide positive actions. Some studies suggest bullying offers us a hard shell and makes us better, kinder people for it. All food for thought.
We first see the perspective of his children, and only later do we see his perspective. By that point, we already know he’s a deplorable shit of a human being. Thanks for your advice! I think that’ll definitely help me with the character of the children.
One more piece of advice; don't make him two dimensional. He might be deplorable, but you mentioned he doesn't see himself that way. There's a root cause for his abusive behaviour. It might have been that he was abused himself. That makes him a sympathetic villain - we can begin to try and understand what made him that way.
