I'm trying to describe this decorative mirror a bit better, besides "decorative" Been struggling to come up with something else. "Aria stood in front of the decorative mirror as the sun danced along it." Any thoughts on how I could make this more elaborated?
Well, your character's action (stood) is almost filler . The real movement is from the light, so make that the actor. Just slip Aria in at the end. Sunlight danced over the parlor mirror's filigrees. (some sort of narrative bridge.) Aria blah blah . . . That would be my approach. Focus on the mirror entirely with a bigger description, whatever you choose. Maybe let your MC muse about it in the bridge, and then lead into her. People will understand where she's standing based on what she sees.
Something maybe like this? The tall Oval Mirror sat perched on the wall. Green leaves framed the gold edges, the vines intertwining itself along the frame. The high windows above shun bright with the morning sun. The rays reflections danced like grass in a breeze against the pale walls of the room. A puff of air escaped Aria’s soft rose lips
Sure, that could work. You'll have to decide how important the mirror is. If it demands a big description then give it one. If it is just a stepping-stone detail, then be brief.
Well, without context, anything goes. Just some observations. First, let's move to what is going on prior to the actual description. Aria stood in front of. This line is boring, can be assumed, focuses on some simple act by Aria, and is the author telling us what is happening. That said, we might use a line like this, but we are definitely taking a moment to reintroduce this person to the reader. Do they already know she is in play? Is she, in fact, even the viewpoint actor? One common mistake writers make in description is a continual reintroduction of the view. Aria did this. Arid saw that. She heard this other thing. In fact, the entire arena of FILTERS is based upon this flaw. Instead of saying she saw or heard or thought, we just go directly to what she saw, heard or thought, without constantly introducing who we already know is in play. That might not be the issue. Aria might not even be the view, here. Like I said, not enough context. Decorative mirror. Yeah, that is just a waste of time. It's a summary. It says almost nothing, other than the mirror is not plain. If that is all the time you hope to give the mirror, then live with the summary. Sometimes we do that because what comes before and what comes after are so rich and we just want the reader to know one general thing about what comes between. But, I suspect this is not the case with the mirror. You have a choice. Do you summarize then give details or give details then summarize, of just kill the boring as hell summary and give us meat? I'm going for door number 3. As the sun danced along it. One basic rule that I enjoy is to give a sentence all the respect it deserves and not riddle it with added stuff that perhaps could find its own sentence and thus its own respect. This doesn't belong in this sentence. So, what about the mirror. Tell me what it looks like. Find the two or three unique things about it that caused you to stop and look at it. Go directly to that. Perhaps she pulls a dusty tarp off of it. She backs away while sneezing. What attracts her attention? Is a pattern of wandering daisies carved into the frame that smells of years of wood wax? Give us something we don't see every day, because obviously the viewpoint cares enough about this one thing to take considerable notice of it. If you want to give us HER, you have to bias what attacts her to this mirror. It isn't about the mirror. It's about her. And one more piece of advice that might also not apply: If you intend to use this mirror as a means of describing your main character, DON'T. That is the most cliche cheat in all of literature. It is so common that I projectile vomit every time I read it, anymore.
Definitely needs an adverb: they hate that Coquettishly, that's definitely the worst adverb Aria stood coquettishly in front of the decorative mirror as the sun danced along it. The sun is seriously limiting Aria's product appeal, because of course it means she can't possibly be a vampire. Aria stood coquettishly in front of the decorative mirror as the moon danced along it. "decorative" isn't actually very decorative, as words go. For me it has the whiff of a 17th-century Latinism (where they used to make up words and it was coincidental if any Roman had ever used them). And the mirror isn't distracting nearly enough from Aria's resounding lack-of-context. So I'd suggest to give it its own name and a few redundant, obscure-or-invented descriptors from out of a thesaurus. Aria stood coquettishly in front of the Baazlthrondl Mirror's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon danced along it. It's still too short. There could be an ambiguous simile on the end. Aria stood coquettishly in front of the Baazlthrondl Mirror's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon danced along it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. Stood and danced are mundane. Posed and Pirouetted Aria pirouetted coquettishly in front of the Baazlthrondl Mirror's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon posed behind it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. Maybe they're right about adverbs. Damn them Aria pirouetted in front of the Baazlthrondl Mirror's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon posed behind it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. Next tighten up the rhythm:- Aria pirouetted under the Baazlthrondl Mirror's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon posed behind it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. Google search it to see if it's cliched. Uh-oh! Aria is a popular type of wall mirror. She needs a new name, therefore. (Or a new scene, but let's follow this where it leads) Aria's a pretty good name though. It's got opera. It's got mermaid. So maybe it's not a mirror. We need a thesaurus. Aria pirouetted under the Baazlthrondl Kaleidoscope's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon posed behind it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. The name's a bit long now. What about:- Aria pirouetted under the Black Kaleidoscope's fourteenth noctilucent blindlens, as the moon posed behind it - like a drunken chorus girl with a hat full of stars. So before, it was meh. But after like a dozen perfectly-logical edits, it's Vampire Romance and you're well on the way to a Nobel Prize for Literature.
Maybe ornate is the word you are looking for to describe the mirror. I would also change sun to sunlight.
Does no one use thesauruses any more? https://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=decorative&typeofrhyme=syn&org1=syl&org2=l&org3=y
That mirror is ridiculously oversized for that space. Mirrors should make small rooms look big, not big rooms small. Accentuate, not dominate. And what's with the balloons in the reflection? Looks like Helen Keller decorating a four year old's birthday party. I love the molding around the doors. Identical to what I have. 1930s classic. Floors are composite shit, though. I have original cedar. Hasn't warped a micron in nearly a hundred years. Or my hand laid foundation. You want it done right, call up some pre-war Italians.
It may help to know how significant the mirror is to the story, or how important this scene (or beat) is to the story. Is Aria just standing in front of the mirror in a routine manner, is she preparing for some ball, is she self conscious, is the mirror the portal to a fantasy world, etc.?
I agree that it would be better with Aria holding more of the interest with anything showing action, while descriptions of what mirror it is could help with the setting.
