Hi, Not 100% sure of this should be here or in word mechanics. So a character of mine specifically uses he/they pronouns and I think it is appropriate for the narration to acknowledge that properly and not use one or the other. In my understanding, it is considered polite to use the gendered and non-gendered forms alternatingly for people who use he/they or she/they pronouns. Because they use both for a reason, although some people are more flexible and just say "call me whatever". However using two different sets of pronouns in narration can easily be confusing, given references to "they" might sound like it is referring to the group if people don't get that the character uses both. Which can be addressed by specifying the character is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns, but when they are first introduced I don't want to be confusing. And it would generally take getting use to in a way that could distract the audience. Has anyone else dealt with this question before?
Some non-binary people use both he or she and they pronouns. It's generally considered polite to alternate them in those cases unless they are okay with whatever. But it's awkward in narration given that people might not realise "they" is referring to the same character as "he". I don't want people to be confused, and I'm not sure what the best thing to do about it is. As an example, if someone uses he/they pronouns you might say "he goes to school in their uniform". The pronouns alternate to some degree. Not necessarily in the same sentence, but it is generally that you kind of acknowledge both sides as it were. This article was written by someone who uses she/they: https://hbr.org/2021/06/my-pronouns-are-she-they-what-are-yours
Ah, shit, the title should "he/they" not "hey/they". Can I change that? I don't know how to edit titles.
Any pronoun can be confusing to a reader if there isn't something in the text that clearly indicates the person to whom the pronoun references. The real problem might be knowing when to use a pronoun rather than which pronoun to use. When writing dialogue in fiction use pronouns the speaker would use. For narrative use pronouns you would use when speaking. The key is to make clear who the person is the pronoun refers to. In non-fiction, use pronouns the person to which they refer prefers. If they have no preference, use what you like. They has been used as singular as well as plural for centuries, and considered "wrong" only since the mid-18th century. Yet, they continues to be used in daily speech and in text today, so when in doubt, maybe use it. (wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they) Who sees the unclear, yet correct, pronoun in the sentence above?
In Upright Women Wanted, there is a character that went by she/they through the whole book. They explained to the MC that "she" is used when they are in town on business, but "they" is used when they leave (its a western inspired dystopian novella and the MC finds herself hiding out with a group of mobile librarians who secretly help queer women escape arranged marriages). It wasnt confusing because the author created an opportunity to explain it. The character is introduces as "they" but as the group nears town, they pulls the MC aside and essentially says "in town, im their idea of 'normal'. You call me "she" but if you slip up, ill slit your throat" In Zen Cho's The Order Of The Pale Moon... There is a character that goes by "he" but is non-binary (the big reveal is toward the end). So the character was "he" through the first half of the novella and becomes something ambiguous by the end. It wasnt confusing because you get to know the character. Lastly, in River Solomon's An Unkindness of Ghosts, it opens up with a "they" (it took me a bit to get acclimated to it because the character wasnt introduced, just used right off the bat)
Yeah I'm just wondering how to handle it elegantly. Cause I started writing sentences with he, then wanted to do one with they, but given J.D's (the character) sister is introducing in the room. What if people thought "they" mean he and his sister? Which brought me to this question. I'm sure I can manage it but its potentially delicate.
Yeah, currently I am thinking that maybe I could wait to clarify that the character is non-binary, before I start using they pronouns. And thenn once readers are used to it I can alternate pronouns.
Readers probably would believe they, in the context described, to mean the brother and sister. In a case such as this using the brother and sister or their names, rather than a pronoun would keep it clear enough to avoid confusion. Much like changing tense with verbs mid-paragraph, changing pronouns can make a piece difficult to read, which readers don't want, so writers should do. Best bet could be treating pronouns like adjectives should be treated - limited use.
I may not understand this whole "non-binary" thing, but I don't think non-binary people use "he" and "she" interchangeably. The author of that article seems to say both that she does ... and that she doesn't. "She" is binary. "They" is non-binary (as well as grammatically incorrect in the eyes of traditional readers).
Sex aside, the phrase,' he goes to school in their uniform' would cause me to snap the book shut and remove the author from my reading lists.
It breaks the rules of competent language use. You need to be consistent with pronouns or it gets too confusing.
Not everything is for all readers, though. Some are confused by Cormac McCarthy’s lack of quotation marks for dialogue. Writers like Joyce and Woolf produced works too confusing for some readers. I’m not sure the fact that some readers will be confused is, in and of itself, reason not to do something. Also, as a rule, readers are pretty smart.
Three hundred and fifty years of "they" being strictly plural is significant, even if "they" for a single person was acceptable prior to the mid-18th century. "It" is singular, but folks might not like to be referred to as "it." An alternative is to come up with new pronouns, and wouldn't that be an entertaining process? S/he and s/him (sh-hee and sh-him) might work.
Some people use them depending on their own personal pronouns. The person she interviews was she/they but switched to fully they, if that's what confused you. But as the author identifies in the title, they are she they. And they specifically mention that with alternating pronouns it's preferred to use both sets.
The problem is, that's been done multiple times. Xe, Xir etc. None of them caught on, and there are always other groups coming up with their own pronouns that they want pushed. It seems there's no agreement or cohesiveness in the larger group, more like endless bickering among fragmented sub-groups.
If a character exclusively refers to themselves in the third person, should you also do that in narration?
In case I wasn't clear, 'he goes to school in their uniform' is offensive in one of two ways. If it refers to one person wearing a uniform that is shared between two people, the construction is clunky and needs something to illustrate the fact that it's shared. If it's an example of the abominable 'singular they', it's grammatically wrong, and grates on the ear.
Well I wouldn't necessarily alternate in the same sentence. I think most of the time I would probably do between one and three sentences or so of one sets of pronouns before alternating to the other. So it would be a bit more back and forth rather than mixed together. That was just to demonstrate the idea of the two sets being interchangeable. That you can move between he/him/his and they/them/their.
True, pronouns are how you refer to other people. But I think Nao means if they want to be referred to in that way.
Relevant to what Steerpike says, if people aren't able to deal with singular they, I doubt they'll be up for the rest of the story either. It will get political and there will also be darker parts.
