Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. lessa

    lessa New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,916
    Likes Received:
    29
    Location:
    Fantasy land

    how would you dicipline your child

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by lessa, May 28, 2008.

    1 smack on the butt.
    2 time outs
    3 sit down and talk it over
    4 ignore the bad behaviour
    5 wait till your father comes home.
    6 none of the above (what then)

    just curious since we had the thread about smacking a child.
    I used a combination of 1 and 3.
    I rarely had to smack a bottom once they got to the age of 2.
    But I would tell them that I loved them always but at the point
    in time I did not like them much and I would explain why.
    You will have to ask Dom if this was a good approach.
     
  2. Rumpole40k

    Rumpole40k Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    7,283
    Likes Received:
    54
    Location:
    Paradise City, Street of the Gods
    I plan on employing 1 - 3 with my son. 4, in my humble opinion, rarely works.
     
  3. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    23,826
    Likes Received:
    20,815
    Location:
    El Tembloroso Caribe
    Well, I'm a fellah' who's partner is a fallah', so no kids, but....

    I was raised pretty old-school. Nothing violent or mentaly scarring! I think a spank on the rear is not a big deal at all. There's a whole generation of kids with ADHD who happen to fall right into the age bracket of the 'hands-off, time-out' parents. Gotta' wonder if there's a conection....
     
  4. NaCl

    NaCl Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,853
    Likes Received:
    63
    I'd send him or her to your house and tell the kid that if he/she ever wants to come home there would have to be a radical change in behavior! If that doesn't work, you keep the kid! LOL
     
  5. penhobby

    penhobby New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Messages:
    354
    Likes Received:
    3
    Check out this book Magic 1+2+3 I have three boys ages 6, 8 and 10.
    The 6 year old, and the 10 year old have Autism and the 8 year old has ADD and Macular Dystrophy (legaly blind). Anyway, my husband and I have major disiplin problems at times so we started using this method. You wouldn't believe how effective it is, not just in private, but also in public as well.
     
  6. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,827
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    I have mostly used 3, then 2, with 1 only as needed (rarely). Mine are now full grown, so I mostly now must settle for 4, although I'll try 3 if they will listen.

    At their current ages, if they haven't learned it yet, they will pretty much have to discover it on their own. But I'm generally proud of how they turned out.

    A wise man learns from his mistakes.
    A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.
     
  7. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    now, would use only 2, 3, and other non-violent means... see my post in the 'smack' thread for why...
     
  8. Raven

    Raven Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Messages:
    9,751
    Likes Received:
    72
    Location:
    The NetherWorld
    I take my kids games consols of them and remove the fuse from the TV and Hi fi plugs.

    That way they behave. And no need to smack. I rather enjoy removing the fuse because they know they've pushed me. And I really do get delight knowing that. They lose the fise and consoles for 2 - 5 days depending on what they've done. if really bad then 2 weeks. Its also rather effective too. :D
     
  9. shadow tiger x

    shadow tiger x New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    The Australian funny farm. More than 5 minutes fro
    I do 1&2 at the moment as my son is only 16 months and doesn't understand you when you talk but he is getting there, He understands that he gets a smack when he does the wrong thing and yes he will push it but i give him warnings first. My son is a bright kid and does understand NO but as all kids do they push to see how far your limit you will go
    that is why he does get warnings first......
     
  10. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    9,639
    Likes Received:
    131
    Actually toddlers understand more than you think, it just depends on how you demonstrate that to them...if you show a child a flame and allow the child to feel the heat, in a safe manner, tell the child that it will burn as the heat appears near the hand, the child learns that fire burns....I didn't describe that well, but you get the idea.

    I use 2 & 3. It is far more effective. Taking things away, like toys, etc, works well too.
     
  11. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,827
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer. Some children will continue to push to see what they can get away with, others accept the limits more readily.

    I think I will let these threads continue a lottle bit longer, if possible, but the heat level is definitely rising to an unacceptable level.
     
  12. LibbyAnn

    LibbyAnn New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    558
    Likes Received:
    8
    I completely agree with this...Children are so different and complex that I don't think anyone can say that any one way will work for every child. Parenting styles also vary greatly, and there is definitely not one right way to raise a child.

    My baby is just a baby right now, but when she gets older I would like to use the "sit down and explain" method. If that doesn't work, time outs, and as a last resort, spanking.

    I also think that with younger children, removing them from a bad situation and putting them in a better situation works wonders. For example, if my girl was playing with a group of toddlers and started hitting and/or biting, I would get down on her level and explain to her that "Teeth and used for eating, not biting." and that "Biting hurts." Then I'd physically remove her from the area to play by herself for awhile.
     
  13. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    9,639
    Likes Received:
    131
    Libby I couldn't agree with you more on this! Especially the last bit, about taking children away from a bad situation.
     
  14. shadow tiger x

    shadow tiger x New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    The Australian funny farm. More than 5 minutes fro
    Yes I do agree also with you there Libby but there is 1 problem with my son doing such a thing he is normaly the 1 that gets hurt by someone biting him and pulling what little hair he has, he mostly sits on my lap when he is around this 1 girl that is a bully and she is only 2 months older than my son and makes him scream everytime they are anywhere around each other, it's hard not to laugh but it's funny but not as we have to keep her away from him as much as possible, my son is so scared of this little girl....
     
  15. LibbyAnn

    LibbyAnn New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    558
    Likes Received:
    8
    I'd honestly keep them away. I think there's a huge developmental leap between 12 months and 14-15 months...I used to work in the toddler (12-24 months) room at a daycare and there was such a huge difference in the littler ones.

    I see nothing wrong with allowing your son to sit in your lap if he is bothered by the child or not allowing them to play together. Social skills in toddlers aren't truly developed yet - he probably needs some more time to grow and develop before being expected to play with another child who bothers him.
     
  16. shadow tiger x

    shadow tiger x New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    The Australian funny farm. More than 5 minutes fro
    I can't really keep them away from eachother as they are cousins and see a lot of eachother so that is a bit hard so he just sits in my lap while she is around. This little girl does what she likes never had dicipline in anyway never gets told no or nothing
     
  17. LibbyAnn

    LibbyAnn New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    558
    Likes Received:
    8
    That's the problem right there, then. Children need discipline...I don't think that's something that can be debated! Unfortunately for you and your son, the discipline of the little girl is out of your control :(
     
  18. shadow tiger x

    shadow tiger x New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2007
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    The Australian funny farm. More than 5 minutes fro
    Yeah i know but i was just saying that she has never been told right from wrong so she doesn't know that biting is naughty and that it hurts people....
     
  19. ValianceInEnd

    ValianceInEnd Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
    Messages:
    1,667
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona.
    Well, you forget to mention how serious an offense this is. Regular mistakes should have disciplinary talks and lectures with a few threats for if they really mess up. If they really mess up, then you oughtta get real stern with them, if ya know what I mean...
     
  20. I find it difficult to reason where most people would think it wrong to hit, smack a stranger then how does one justify hitting, smacking someone they love.
     
  21. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,827
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Ok, I think everyone has had a chance to weigh in on this, and there are two basic positions with no possibility of a middle ground. I'm going to close this before passions become grudges.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice