I've been working on an idea for a character in my book, and I want it to be a big revelation when it's revealed. Because of this, I wanted to make sure it's as big a deal as I think it is, so I decided to get other's opinions on it. To be brief, how would you react if you found out that your entire personality (desires, hates, fears, strong beliefs) wasn't actually yours? Essentially, someone constructed a personality for you, and placed it in a body. You only care, or think strongly about things because someone made you that way.
I, personally, would feel violated and curious at the same time. Violated because, well, I'm used to the fact that my personality is something that I create and control. Curious because I'd want to know why someone wants me to be like they made me (ex: am I that way to better the world? To cause destruction?) This question in my mind prompted me to think in terms of if it was like this for everyone, even though you didn't specify that that was part of your idea, but I'll just put this out there. If this was everyone's case, I would feel less violated because it's the norm. I would probably be less curious as well.
To further clarify, this isn't the norm in the story, and it's only one character to whom this applies to. I would explain more, but it would involve going into a lot of other plot points.
I'd probably go into denial at first thinking that it can't be true. After that it would depend on how I found out. If I found out some douche made me in their image I'd act completely different to spite them. If I found out their was a good reason behind it I'd probably just get over it and move on.
BUT... your twist is not a twist, it's completely normal. I have found that most people go through their lives without having an original thought. It's all stuffed into their heads by someone else. Parents, advertising, government, church and no one saying "Bullshit." An historical example would be NAZI Germany. The problem there wasn't one guy with a really bad idea. It was 22000000 other folks not using their heads but simply agreeing.
You may find more accurate answers from people who may have changed their beliefs in life. People who discover God or perhaps those who lose the faith of their birth - a whole identity and belief system are shattered and must be rebuilt on both occasions.
I would imagine for something like that I would come more or less completely unraveled. Shatter any sound logic and reasoning for why I do things and essentially start over. In a nut shell.
Some people, perhaps myself included, may "double down" in the face of a revelation like this. Instead of worrying about "am I really myself?", some might have the reaction of "it doesn't matter, I'm who I am etc".
This is going to sound super duper weird. But... I’d be kind of... flattered? Does anyone else feel that way? Like, I’m fucking so cool that somebody deliberately decided to make me. They must’ve had good taste and good judgement, too, because damn I’m great. I wonder what they made me for. Must’ve been something good.
I'm well aware of this, and it's a very good point. People are essentially puppets of their nature, and culture. I wonder if science gets more understanding of how the brain works, we may one day get full on personality designer surgery (or whatever you would call it)? Been there, done that.
This makes me think of Orphan Black. I know it's a slightly different premise, but the identity crisises faced by some of the clones in O.B. are a very plausible depiction of what it could feel like to discover that everything you think is your own construction of self is in fact not within your power at all. There are mixed responses in the thread above, so I recognise that this could be a mindf*ck for some people and totally not a big deal for others. But personally I reckon it would bring up some huge questions about self-concept and identity ... if someone fabricated everything that I am, and put me together like a formula with predispositions and behaviour patternings that are dictated and not organic evolution of character ... it would mess with my head. I would start to second-guess everything I did and felt. Not knowing how much agency and autonomy I have, whether I have any at all, would leave me constantly messed up over whether my actions/feelings/thoughts were really truly me, or if they were just programming. Another question it would create is: if they programmed and created me, does that mean they have access to either view and/or influence my internal processes?
Yes, this is the crux of the matter. If a chair, say, could be self-aware, it isn't going to suddenly realize it was supposed to be a table all along. It would be happy to be a self-aware chair. That's what it was made to be. For this to work, this character had to have been like everyone else, with his/her "own" thoughts, etc., until some point in life when his personality, thoughts, memories, etc., were wiped like a hard drive and a new set put in. And there would have to be something left of his old self in order for him to think, "Hey, what I am now isn't really me!"
This question raises a whole bundle of existential issues. As a Christian I'd argue that all of us were made in the image of the sovereign God, who endows us with our whole genetic and environmental, etc,. kit that makes us who we are. At the same time, I'd point out that God allows us to develop what he's given us, and we're responsible to him for what we do with it. We're not clockwork oranges, to adopt Anthony Burgess's image. What's more, it occurs to me that the human desire to feel that we're our own self-made creations is a good definition of sin. Even approaching it from the evolutionary point of view, it's never argued that we're each the originators of our own bodies and minds; we're the product of natural forces, not makers of ourselves. But enough from your resident preacher. Looking again at the OP's question, I guess how the character reacted would depend on a couple of things. First, does the "engineer" (I won't call him/her "creator") have the right or moral permission to generate such a human being, or is he violating some higher authority's prerogatives? And second, what kind of personality, etc., did the engineer give the character, and how has it affected his ability to get on in the world? Take the monster in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I admit I haven't read the novel, but I believe there's a place in it where the monster reflects on the badness of the emotional kit Dr. Frankenstein gave him via the body parts chosen, and laments that he can't help but destroy and kill. The monster can reflect on himself like that because he's observed that the regular humans around him don't have that problem. Moreover, he knows he's the only one who's been monkeyed around with the way he has, and he hates Victor Frankenstein for what he has done. But again, the character wouldn't really be saying, "The 'I' that I am isn't really 'I'," but rather, "I don't like the 'I' that I am."
Personally I'd want a Stern Talk with my creator about some of the less useful and more decidedly difficult-to-live-with bits of me I'd previously blamed on genetics... It really does depend on the character, though, doesn't it? Someone who is proud of their intellect or sharp business brain, or the way they've worked all their life to be someone important would be far more devastated than someone who throughout their life vaguely wondered if indecisiveness and a bad memory were their own fault. And then again, if the person had a personality disorder ( mild one, perhaps) that they'd had to battle with... all bets would be off.
I wouldn't care because I'd have nothing else to compare it to. What difference would it make? I'm still me... it's not like there's some alternate-me floating around the multiverse that I could then become. As far as reveals go, I don't think this one would be very revelatory.
We're the sum of our experiences. Our personalities, thoughts, and behaviors are molded by everyone and everything around us. Even when we decide to make a change it's usually because something has convinced us that we need to make that change whether it's changing religions, a dietary change, lifestyle change, etc. Sometimes we do the convincing because we know something needs changed, but we learned that knowledge somewhere and at some point in our life. Anyway, what I'm getting at is: I wouldn't care if it was suddenly revealed to me someone had created my personality, thoughts, etc. intentionally because it's not far off from actually happens. The only difference is is that I can label things in my past as having been the fault of the person who created me. However, I would then be responsible for further actions later on in life.
Okay, seriously and literally considering your question. I wouldn't care really because I've already come to terms with the fact that free will is an illusion. So I think if I found out that someone engineered me I'd ask them to know why they made me? I'd want to know if they have any answers about why and how everything else was created. I'd just want to know more than anything. I think it would most likely animate me quite vigorously because it could be a lead into finding meaning where I have already assumed that life is meaningless (intrinsically). I suppose I'd have to come to terms with whatever his/her answers are. That would most likely cause me to retreat into depression for a month or something until I've reconciled this new knowledge. I think I would expect him to be just as in the dark as I am. Or maybe he would know why for us, but it would turn out he has no idea why he exists. But, maybe his answer would actually be great, in which case I wouldn't get depressed probably.
This is kind of the same thing I say when people talk about fate and destiny and stuff. It would be super depressing. The universe is so incredibly huge that the only thing we truly have is free will and emotion. If it turned out even those were fake, well that would be pretty terrible. I would probably end up trying to get rid of (maybe kill, maybe just stop) whoever did it just so A) they can't do it to anyone else and B) to show them I'm more than just their puppet.
After the initial shock, I think I'd eventually come to the conclusion of "Fuck it. It doesn't matter. I'm still me. It doesn't matter that somebody made me, I'm still me, not anyone else, and I could never be anyone else."
How did your character find out his personality was implanted? I always considered personality traits as a product of your environment. While character is from your genetic code and can't be changed. It kind of brings to mind Manchurian Candidate http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056218/
... I'd say it's probably as big as a deal can get. It's difficult though, based just on what you've written, to figure out how I might react - if my entire personality, including my fears, hates and beliefs, had been entirely constructed wouldn't this pretty much determine, or greatly influence, how I'd feel about finding out about it? Could I detach myself enough from this personality to find out what I really think about it being created for me? If so, the one thing I'm sure of is I'd initially be terribly angry with the one, or ones, who made that decision for me. Next I'd try with all my might to figure out if there's a way to... unmake, then remake myself. All the while though these characteristics forced onto me would be crippling my will, my efforts to free myself. But in a nutshell, I'd fight it.
I like it! The whole (biblical) concept of predestination, held in tension by self-will, interests me. Can both be true at the same time? Or is it one or the other? You certainly have long-standing theories to research and draw on. The names John Calvin and Jacobus Arminius come to mind. Incorporate the essence of their positions, and you have an interesting formula.
Is this an AI/blade runner replicant thing? (Rachel & Deckard) http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RoboticReveal