I cheated and I feel dirty

Being back in my old profession as a chef, I have revisited a few of the old culinary forums I should have been banned from and was out and out disgusted with the way people communicated with each other. It wasn't profanity or lack of couth; nay, it was the raping of the written word that bothered me so. There was no punctuation, capitailzation, or discernment between homophones. I feel dirty.

 

That's a provocative statement. Why should you have been banned?

 

I've said some very bad things. I'm not very good with people.

 

Aw, don't be so hard on yourself. You're a freaking chef, after all! Sensitivity goes about as well with that profession as being a drill sergeant.

 

Ahhh, the good ole days before HR

 

Drink a little more of that Makers Mark. I promise you will either feel worse or better, depending on how much you drink. But you wont feel exactly as you do right now. Cheers.

 

I suppose that's why they are on culinary forums and not writing forums.
In any case, perhaps you can school em'. Or at least make them feel inferior with your impecable use of capitalization and punctuation.
Plus, there's no better way to feel than dirty!

 

You can never feel clean and refreshed if you don't feel dirty ever once in a while.

 

Too true!

 

This is the kind of thing upon which one could construct a religion.

 

give me the mud
rub me with grit
blow smoke in my face
while I sit in shit

now take my hand
all crusty and mean
lather and scrub me
love me back clean...

(haha)

 

^-- Hahahaha! AWEsome.