If there were a pill to make me straight, I would not take it

Thank you very much.

It's been a slow process and I'm still coming to terms with being sure about how I feel, but I'm pretty sure that's the direction it's taking me.

 

Well, the idea is it shouldn't be necessary. It's horrible because it likely suggest either self-hate, or the hate of others forced upon you. It's something most likely to be invented by bigots. And life only gets better when you're straight because society makes it difficult. Although there's also statistical advantages (shakes fist). Stupid statistics. Maybe we should invent a gay pill instead and I can force it into some guys I might have a crush on. But that's just something we have to live with, the societal attitudes though, luckily that's changing and by the time I'm say 30, bigotry should be very rare. And you have to consider that all humans have at least some desire to avoid the feeling of being controlled. Even in irrational circumstances such as changing their sexuality to a more statically favourable one. If it makes people deeply uncomfortable, it's no longer worth it. It's my personal theory that this impulse contributes to the whole anti-label thing. It feels freer to people for some reason.

 

Have you dated any girls yet or is this more of a lone discovery? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's your private life.

 

I PMd you just now.

 

Much of modern technology is unnecessary, though. Hair dye, cosmetic apparel, etc.
Imagine if sexual attraction and skin color were as dynamic as the clothing you wear. This segregation wouldn't be possible if the factors aren't constant.

 

Yes, but again, people aren't that comfortable with the idea. People would probably like to experiment, "spend a day as a gay!' (I enjoy rhymes way too much) but people often get a feeling of being kind of violated by the idea of permanent change. Like it's going places it shouldn't. And as long as that feeling is common, it's not the best idea, especially considering the benefits aren't that great. Now, if everyone was pansexual, that'd be the most useful change. Maximum availability. But it'll take a long while before people would be comfortable with that. And again, it might never be worth the cost of altering people's genetics which would be expensive.

 

It could be expensive, but what is that compared to the worth of SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS?
Honestly, I'd prefer the opposite scenario in which everyone were asexual. All that time and energy people spend finding dates and crying about their ex could be directed towards something more productive.

 

Wait.. what?
Fixing an obvious defect (the loss of sight) is a good thing.
Changing something that we cannot say whether it is a defect or not (like skin color or sexuality or gender) is not such a simple matter.

Once you fill out the form, they'll send you a bumper sticker, a pride flag, and the "gay agenda" pamphlet.

 

That made me laugh. Thanks.

 

However, it seems not everyone agrees on what constitutes an "obvious defect". Some people oppose implants that can help people with hearing impairments, on the cultural grounds that they privilege oral culture over deaf culture:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/understanding-deafness-not-everyone-wants-to-be-fixed/278527/

Speaking strictly for myself, my eyes are defective, and if there was a pill that would give me normal color perception and fix my astigmatism, I'd rob a bank to pay for it.

 

Why is the idea of having more control over randomly generated genetics not an obvious choice? Hair colors are not defective, but people still choose to dye their hair. Is hair dye the result of cultural hair-shaming?

 

In some cases, it can be. In Japan, caucasian women are idealized, and there have been many phases where all the young ladies are dyeing their hair blonde, and sometimes adding blue or green contact lenses to the mix. There's also a surgery to "fix" the epicanthic fold and give the recipient's eyes a less Asian appearance (Asian in the US sense, China/Japan/Korea)

 

Because we're talking about changing a fundamental thing of who you are.
Not some hair color that won't affect any other part of you other than itself.
And why would you change sexuality or gender if it wasn't something the world was teaching you to hate in yourself or be ashamed of?

Like, seriously, are you comparing something as integral to who you are and all your experiences as the equivalent of hair color?

 

Yes, but what are we? Both matter and information are cycled in and out of us on a daily basis. Our genes and memes both mutate constantly. How is change any less of what you currently are?

 

And that's why we don't know whether certain parts of us are alright or not and why for most people it isn't a simple binary choice.

 

Simple or not, the choice should at least exist.

 

Wouldn't that be the day? When nobody judges you on your orientation. When it's just another thing like being blonde or your last name being Bergerstein. Or is that in reference to the idea of everyone being pansexual?

 

Honestly I'm not sure which one I was after, and Dr. Seuss was writing about race.

In a post-scarcity society, I think pansexuality would be best; we could all just live like bononbos, fooling around with whoever was in the mood. However, as long as we need productive labor, I think we'll have to settle for a lack of discrimination.

 

All you guys here have my total respect, I have a lot of friends in the LGBTQ+ community, and somewhat consider myself part (more as someone who's questioning their identity) it's hard, as not everyone understands what it means to be a part of this community, and that's when issues arise. I'm thankful that my parents seem pretty chill about me not having a boyfriend (and are probably starting to suspect that it'd be otherwise) and I'm grateful that I don't have to worry, and feel sorry for anyone who is in this situation, you have my support, and my ear if you want it.

to be honest, I've never really spoken upon my identity in this respect, but in all honesty, in the past few months, what I thought I was (hetero) has definitely come into question

in regards to the pill, I think i wouldn't take it, because I'd be doing an injustice to myself.

 

Not to get sappy or anything, but if the LGBT people took that pill, there would be less people to advocate for their rights and acceptance in society. There would be less people to work towards opening the eyes and hearts of the world. It is heart wrenching to think about the people who would take the pill. To know that they feel that insecure and uncomfortable in their own skin.


As for my own answer. (I realized that I haven'the given one yet.)

I would not take the pill.

Only recently was I able to become friends with some people from the LGBT community. (Before, I had very little knowledge or experience of the topic, and had no idea such a subject even existed until I was 14. My parents are strict and I was hardly given the chance of explore. My chance finally came as I transferred into a lenient and tolerating charter arts school.) As they were able to openly show their orientations, I felt happy for them and encouraged them often. But there was something else that kept nagging at me, and I realized it was jealousy. They'd talk casually about their boyfriends or girlfriends or transformations, and I would wholeheartedly encourage them, I would be genuinely happy for them. But there was always that ugly, shameful jealousy.

I grew up in a fairly conservative environment. My mom said that people who are truly Transgender know when they are very young, and people who are bi/homosexual realize it fairly quickly. Now, she says that most of the teenage LGBT's are not true ones, just people who are going through serious identity crises. This is what she'd tell me if I ever told her that I was any of those. Sometimes when we talk about the subject she'll say things like, "at least you haven't deviated from what's correct. Unless there's anything you're not telling me." I always say no. If I said anything otherwise, I'd be thrown into therapy and prayed for at church. She explains to me that true LGBT people have genetic chemical deviations that change their preferences. And that many are made that way because of some kind of trauma involving a certain sex. She buys into all the stereotypes. But, she's at least tolerant of them, even if not approving. Unlike my dad, who hates them with a passion. I cried the first time I heard him call someone a faggot. (Please excuse my language.) I was shocked and absolutely furious. He says homo as if it's an ugly thing. He slanders them at every chance and is thoroughly disgusted at them. He'd hate me if I even hinted at experimenting or even questioning.

Because of this, I've never experimented with or been in any kind of relationship straight or gay (I've never kissed or hell, even hugged someone that was not family or a purely platonic friend), and I avoid shopping for my own clothes as much as possible, and when I do, I try my best to get gender neutral ones without being too obvious.

So, if I were to be offered a pill that would make me sure in my assumed "straightness", I would pretend that I need no such assurance.

I am a people pleaser, and am very sensitive to other's disappointment in me. And would my parents be disappointed. I'd be disowned and cast out of my family, even by my extended one.

Depressing.

I admire those of you who have the courage to speak up and speak out. Kudos to you.

 

So you're questioning? Or just aware of your own flexibility? (No-one is 100%. Everyone can experiment)

 

A bit of both, I suppose. I'm afraid to try, but I can't really figure it out if I don't. I honestly don't know right now. :/

 

Going with the theme of being different and therefore discriminated against, and wishing to belong, I must say I don't know what my answer would be if the pill were one that would make me white and English and if it had been offered to me when I was 15, 16 or so. That was the time probably at the height of my self-hatred against my Chinese ethnicity - I was adamant I'd never teach my children Cantonese. I went as far as genuinely wishing I wasn't Chinese, that I never spoke Chinese at all. Now I've come to terms with all this and today my answer would be, No. Of course I would never take such a pill. But back then? Back when i was a teenager? I'm not so sure. To this day, the exclusion I felt back then lingers - I'm aware I'm different - and I think part of why I'm afraid of going back to a monocultural environment is that I don't ever wanna feel that "alienness" again. I'm still sensitive to people taking an interest in what I have to say, because too often while I was growing up, nobody was interested in what I had to say, because the things I wanted to share were unknown to them. (hell, remembering the exclusion is enough to make me wanna cry - it was like nobody wanted to know me)

Anyway, I won't hijack the thread, since of course ethnicity and sexual orientation are two different issues with their own baggage. But that sense of wishing to belong, to be and feel "normal" - hell I can relate. I just never knew it took living in a foreign country to help me feel normal.

Which brings the thought - where do gay people go, or what do they do, to help them feel like they belong? To assure them that yes, they are normal? (just going from my own sentiment of not feeling like I belonged and not feeling like I was normal because I was different. My difference is different to the difference a gay person feels, but I suspect there might be sentiments we might share?)

 

How old are you, and how soon can you move as far away from them as possible?

Your family have already disowned you, they just haven't figured it out yet, and they do not deserve your obedience. They are not better than you are. You are the person we need in the world, not them, you have every right to exist. There are people in the world who are worth pleasing, your family are not, you need to find people who are.