I was browsing through some random blog and found this little ditty. This read was exciting! Exclamation points everywhere! Double Imagery! Who needs paragraphs! Dialogue Structure? DIALOGUE! Oh, and dragons breathe fire from their noses and THEN their mouths! Good to know! Evil Witches are BIG on sending people messages through hellfire! .... If you ever wondered whether you are good enough to be published, you probably can if the above link is any indicator. I read the About Author section at the end, like seven pages down, and from I gleamed she owns her own tiny publishing house in Miami so maybe that's how this managed to get "published" but still...
Holy hell those are some huge "paragraphs!" Definitely needs to be broken up more. I got exhausted after just one!!!!!!!!
I know it's not even close to the same genre, style or anything else, but, read some Jose Saramago if you think those paragraphs are long. He also uses no dialogue punctuation except for capitals to indicate start of dialogue. He won a Nobel Prize, and I know Cormac McCarthy isn't big on dialogue marking either. It seems you can't actually define a paragraph, except maybe in the loosest of terms. Studies have been done, where well written passages, have had their paragraphing removed and given to other writers, english teachers and professors of English Lit and almost no one re-formated the passage as the original author had. Many times, no two people paragraphed the original as it was written.
@Fitzroy Zeph I think there is a noticeable difference between their works and Ellis'. The issue isn't that her paragraphs are long but that there is no real structure and I doubt it was from an artistic or stylized point of view that she made it if the rest of her writing is any indicator. It's one thing to consciously change things around to fit your wants but its a whole 'nother to change every "standard" we have in writing from grammar, structure, or modern styling to something that is... well, laughable. Anything can be done. Ellis should have learned to write first.
Oh. Dear... I'm willing to bet they published it themselves. If not then that publishing company had to be desperate. This is bad. I have not written this badly in a while. I never knew I could have been published writing like that. Well I'm glad I won't have to suffer through the embarrassment of having my name something like that.
"Ms. Branshaw was the headmistress of the orphanage in Britain where Rebecca and her brother Billy lived." Wait - what? Apparantly customers who viewed this item also viewd a corrugated coffin. That is not inspiring.
I couldn't stand to read more than the first six sentences before I became nauseous. It reminded me vaguely of the "books" my class had to write in our fourth grade reading class one semester, only I think most of my fellow students had better grammar. Did the author really write her own review and lash out at people when they offered advice? I couldn't find that in the actual reviews on Amazon, but maybe I'm not looking in the right spot.
I wouldn't buy it, but it's published and Joe Reader could buy it (Not that I think that would happen). I don't have that in my repertoire.
Aren't most author pen names on Wikipedia or something? I know it's meant to mask who the real author is but the internet seems to have made that obsolete. Self-published, actually. It's her OWN publishing company. Actually, all those items listed there are because the people who viewed this book viewed all the other items listed on that blog I mentioned in the OP. It blogs about the terrible items for sale in the world and this book was one of many. So, don't mind them Although, the coffin could be considered ominous Hmm.. It seems Ellis made a few faux pas... Not including taking real names and adding a few vowels here and there to make them fancy. Would it have hurt to keep the Arthurian legend with Arthur and not Aurthorr? I'd be bummed too. "Rats. Gotta rebuild, I guess..." And Lastly... I read all the reviews. It was rather entertaining. Thanks for the tip @Alesia
This was an experience. I feel honored to have been a part of this. All sarcasm aside, it is encouraging in some way. Even some publishers do not know how to write. Next time you get a rejection, think about this, it should make you smile.
Makes you think. Is yur goal to get published, or is your goal to reach a broad audience? Of course, it's hard to reach a large audience if you are not published. Hence the confusion. Self-publishing makes the first hurdle less formidable, but it does nearly nothing toward the goal of reaching a wide audience.
Well, I suppose you could write something so awful that it gets widely discussed on forums everywhere? Notoriety may bring a wide audience. Maybe no money, but hey...
I just wasted three minutes of my life! It's written by a married couple! I wonder if T and I write this badly! I like the cover, though! Wonder if she knows Antigua is a real place!
