Feeling like I Let Myself Down

All that work to sign up for a forum like this to get this off my chest...

I’ve felt for a long while that I’ve failed myself. Ever since I was in middle school, I was writing television series spec scripts. Granted, they were short, but they followed the structure of how shows are written.

I was writing all the way through high school. In fact, many times I wished I could just write and sell to studios rather than go to school. Also, kind of like a vengeance thing with my classmates. I’ll show them when I become famous. That same fever lasted through college when I tried query-lettering and writing movies.

Then I write a screenplay in tribute to someone famous. I wanted to impress her with this. I get a “we’re not interested” letter from CAA and I go back to studying structure by watching tons of movies for 15 years. I’m also writing and outlining during that time. My project is tough. Maybe there’s a perfectionist streak in me; the premise is pretty tough.

Lately, I found a wonderful theory that helped me focus the story. There was a writing group I’d work with that was tied in with the theory, but I can’t skype with them now die to tech issues. Then I started working with a fellow writer then life got in the way last year. I’m just now settling back in to figure this out.

I just feel this celebrity never going to see it because I’ve taken two decades on it. I still believe the project would make a wonderful movie. Just seems I hit a wall and never recovered. Feeling like a failure.

 

It's tough to go through a feeling of failure, I can attest that most writers have gone through the same.
I think that this celebrity/their crew didn't reject you maliciously, not that it makes the feeling much better. I personally believe that writing should be done for yourself, not others. So perhaps it didn't work out this time, but if you keep pushing and growing you can make something wonderful. I don't think you should be writing this piece on the chance the celebrity is going to see it, maybe write it as an appreciation for them and what they mean to you. Celebrities deal with a lot of things in life and, unfortunately, receive many different offers/works from fans.

When you say studying structure, you watched a bunch of movies correct? Have you considered schooling if this is something you wish to pursue? I'm doing a course now and I'll tell you, it's great to be surrounded by like-minded people who want to see you succeed. If you've already completed one I wouldn't say that a refresher is a bad thing, or perhaps messaging past teachers/students?

I totally understand the low feeling that your writing isn't good enough. Being a writer seems to be a rollercoaster, sometimes your work feels amazing and others you want to purge with the fires of hell. But if you push through it you'll improve, and perhaps one day you'll attain what you dream to. I for one would love to see you succeed, and am happy to be a different perspective if you ever need one.

 

Why don't you send it to her agent?

 

Thank you
I did get a four year degree in TV/Radio/Film (some editing, screenwriting, and history of the industry). It’s funny that I feel I could have learned a lot more a lot sooner in college if I knew of this theory 18 years earlier.
What’s past is past.
Thank you. It would be nice to describe my project. I’ve thought about giving it up and thought maybe redesi... I don’t know really.
The celebrity is Madonna. I found her rep was at CAA so there were two reasons for sending my script there.
It feels like I’ve been just talking about this project. Actually, there have been tons of notes and a few drafts in the past couple of decades. I knew, for one thing, it had to be top of the line amazing to make that one and only impression on her and to stand out from the zillions of other submissions.
In some sense, the plot could be altered, but the themes have always been there ... and they’re beautiful. They’re mature in the sense of a big budget, theatrical movie like Saving Private Ryan.
You can email me at geoff_2007@verizon.net

 

It's the way it is unfortunately, being able to know information in the past would be amazing. But alas, we are but mere mortals.
Maybe you need to work on a different project for awhile? I tend to switch between multiple stories when I hit a block or I'm unhappy with my writing. It stops me from overthinking and lets me to come back with an unbiased mind.
It sounds really cool! I don't have an email to poke you on right now, but if you send me some of it on PM I'd love to read some. I'm not a big celebrity person, so I may not be the best, but I'm willing and interested.

 

Maybe you're barking up the wrong tree. Instead of attempting to get Madonna to like your script ...why not get it sent to movie agents who might be interested in making a movie about her from the script you've written? I'm sure a Madonna biopic is a sale-able basic idea. If they are interested, THEY will contact Madonna via her rep and get her approval, if need be.

Approaching a celebrity out of the blue, for whatever reason or method, is probably not a great idea. Aside from the fact that they can feel vulnerable if they've had brushes with obsessed fans in the past, they get TONS of folk wanting to get their attention all the time. The fact that they are famous for being a singer or a movie star doesn't mean they want to be smothered by fan attention. It doesn't mean your work is bad—it just means they didn't/won't look at it, because they don't know you OR your intentions.

When something isn't working, I reckon you need a new approach. I'd say sending your polished script to an agent who is currently accepting submissions from unpublished scriptwriters—do follow submission guidelines to a T—would be the way to go.

By the way, what is CAA? I looked it up and got Civil Aviation Authority. I presume that's not where you sent your script.

I'm one of the forum moderators, and I'll take this opportunity to say 'welcome to the forum.' While you're finding your feet and getting to know us, please take the time to read these two links: New Member Quick Start and Forum Rules They should keep you on track and give you something to do while you are waiting for your New Membership to turn into full Membership. (Takes two weeks and 20 posts ...explained in the New Member Start Guide AND our Forum Rules.)

 

Thanks for the welcome, Jannert!
I’m happy to have joined this group.

CAA stands for Creative Artists Agency.

Now that I recall, as resistant as I was, I came up with a fictional name for the character. That’s a good idea. The character resembles Madonna well - without bio details - so I thought maybe I could coax interest over to Madonna. The name I thought of was Farrah... like pharaoh. Joe and Farrah. Gotta make those allusions obvious.

 

Umm...

 

It's really hard for a writer to get published, and I imagine it's even harder for a script writer to get their work turned into a movie. And even if that happens, would it be a successful movie or just a small indie one? There's a lot of competition, and the people who are already successful are the ones who win 95%+ of the time.

A script about a living celebrity is honestly even harder to get published. If that celebrity wanted a movie about them written, then they would probably just call up someone who's already successful. And if they don't want a movie about them, then that's completely outside your control. Anything that they would actually approve would need to confirm tightly to their personal brand, and be compelling enough in market studies to warrant a budget.

My recommendations would be to:

• Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Work on a lot of different ideas and put time to what is working out well.
• Don't rely on publication for financial success. If you have a degree in the business then get a job in the business, as that's what they are more useful for, and you need to work on your dreams from a stable enough platform to support your creativity.
• Keep trying, but don't put all your self meaning into something that is very unlikely to yield rewards from a statistical standpoint. Maybe shoot for smaller goals, but when doing that, think more about the daily routines that will get you there than anything else