How and when? I just started, blooming an idea I can't shake into words in a notebook. I am not ready to tell anyone in my household, or really, anywhere. For now, it is just mine. Maybe forever. But just like with reading, I don't want to stop writing when I get going. So far I've had a lot of bathroom visits. Or the old "I'm going to my room to read"...and really grabbing my stashed notebook instead to scribble away in. I feel like a child who's hidden a comic inside a school book. I don't work outside the house, and I have three young children.
When I write in secret I write on toilet paper with felt tip markers. You got as much space as you need to write and an unsuspicious method of disposal. Secrets mine. Secrets forever.
Ha, you sound like me. I'm a SAHM to two (almost 5 and 2 1/2) and just can't focus on writing during the day with the hustle and bustle. Even on days where there are no activities, just having to be 'aware' of what they're doing, even if in another room playing, takes my focus away from my WIP. I haven't figured out how to juggle it all at once because when they're awake I'm constantly in mommyland. When my daughter starts Kindergarten this summer, maybe it'll get easier...or I'll have to keep my son even more busy from missing his sister, lol. It'll be reallllly nice when they're both in school but chances are we may have a #3 by then. Oh well I've always been a night owl and this has served me well. I sacrifice sleep to stay up and write. Sometimes I'll try during nap time but there's always housework, cooking, or *gasp* a show that I really want to catch up on, and sometimes I don't even write every day. But for the most part, as soon as they're down for bed, I get in my zone and go until I'm too tired, sleep, wake, lather, rinse, repeat!
I hide in plain sight. I write in the open and refer to my task in terms spoken in High Nerdanese or sometimes Common Geekésh, southern dialect. No one in my family speaks these tongues; thus, they leave me be. Would that they knew I was writing graphic Erotica right under their uninterested noses...
you're a closet...erm! toilet writer.....and? You're telling this to a 'writing forum' like it's a dirty secret. I am perplexed.
My roommate is an odd person in some ways. We got together in the first place because he liked a story I wrote and posted online, and he shared a couple of his stories with me. Once I moved into his house, though, we got very busy with our engineering business and neither of us did any writing for a couple of years. I started writing again eventually, and told him I wanted to see if I could get some of my work published. He started poking fun at me for that, telling me it's a pipe dream and I'm just embarrassing myself if I want to write professionally. Writing is okay as a hobby, he said, but let's not delude ourselves that there's any way in hell we pathetic humans can ever join the pantheon of published writers. So I wrote in secret for a couple of years just to avoid his derision. But he found out what I was doing and continued deriding my efforts. I didn't mind this for a while, because I have a thick skin, but he started wearing my thick skin thin, and I eventually had to do something about it. I took him out to dinner, and when our drinks arrived, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was sick and tired of listening to him pooh-pooh my writing ambition, and that I would like a little encouragement instead of the constant jeering. Guess what? That kind of rocked him back on his heels, and he said "Okay" in kind of a small voice. He didn't bother me about writing again. I returned to writing openly. I joined this forum and talked about it with him quite a bit, and eventually he said, "You're really serious about this writing thing, aren't you?" I said of course - what was he thinking? Lo and behold, just about three or four months ago, he started talking about a story he wanted to write. He hadn't written a word of fiction in twenty years, and it seems I've inspired him to get back into it. Now he writes quite a lot - one day, he bragged to me, he wrote more than 8,000 words! He isn't bad at it, either! His style is really ragged, but he's got a good handle on point of view and has an instinctive sense of pacing. That's cool. So I went from writing in secret because of him, to inspiring him to take up writing again himself. I'm feeling quite chuffed about that.
Well, I don't go around shouting it in public, and I don't care about YOU all knowing, but...(this is to help you understand, Michael Collins, and whomever else thinks I sound nutty) Here's what I mean. You live with someone. You've never really seen them writing, other than a grocery list. Suddenly, they are scribbling in a notebook constantly. Don't you ask, hey, what's that? What are you writing? Whaddaya mean I can't read it? Or, my four year old: Wow, that's a long list. Anyhow, there are things about me that my family doesn't know. I write is one of them. I've never written anything long, though. Now I am, and I feel sneaky.
There's nothing wrong with having something just for yourself but don't be ashamed about your aspirations. I don't share most of my writings with my husband or family but it's not something I hide, either. My almost 5 year old thinks it's cool that mommy is writing a book and my hubby likes to support me by asking how things are going but doesn't pressure about it more than that. I don't see why you wouldn't bring up to your significant other sometime, like during bed talk before falling asleep, about what you like to do...if anything, they could help wrangle the kids more often to give you more time to write. It's no different than any other hobby. If you got into a craft of some sort or fitness, you wouldn't hide that - it'd still be yours to do alone - and it'd be no big deal. Same with writing. It sounds like you're making a bigger deal of it in your head and causing anxiety over nothing.
Welcome to the Parent Writers Club. I have three of those critters myself! Writing gives you something that is completely your own, that is probably why you're doing it. In a daily life with kids (as you know!) there is little to call your own, so time becomes a precious commodity. Don't feel bad about escaping to the 'closet' now and then. I give you credit for even being able to think creatively when they're little, and if it helps you stay sane then by all means Indulge!
i understand, joseph... family and friends don't always react the way you'd like them to, so write in secret if that feels best for you... as a writing mentor, i always tell new writers to never show their writing to family or friends, since that most often results in unjustified praise [to not hurt the writer's feelings, even if the writing's total bleep]; bad advice from non-professionals; or hurtful criticism that can wreck friendships and marriages... if you ever want secret feedback on whatever it is you're working on, i'm only a mouse click away... meanwhile, happy writing! love and hugs, maia maia3maia@hotmail.com
My hubby knows I am writing, but he doesn't know I'm writing unproductive garbage. Or maybe he does. He can see I'm not video gaming while he is, so it's probably a case of "whatever floats your boat."
I never tried to hide what I was writing or the fact I was writing it. I don't care if others approve or not.
Thank you for understanding. I used to write for myself, many many years ago, when I was in college and my mind was constantly geared toward academics. Now, it is usually filled with children and family obligations, but I am allowing myself to indulge this story. It isn't that I care much if they know I write, but I am not ready to share this particular story. I would love your feedback I'm sure at some point, and I appreciate the offer!
