Tags:
  1. The Backward OX

    The Backward OX New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Outback Queensland, Australia, far from the maddin

    I'm all tense about tense.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by The Backward OX, Sep 23, 2009.

    I'm playing about with a little piece of nonsense that I thought I'd write in the first person, present tense, with the intention of subbing it to the local rag.

    But here and there I see what I perceive as a need to change present tense to past tense.

    One such example is changing "For some days I have been attempting to purchase a new phone" to "For some days I had been attempting to purchase a new phone."

    But then, two sentences further on - after a sentence that simply describes the phone - I want to revert to the present tense, with "Why don’t I move into the 21st Century, do I hear you ask? Simple, really: old farts like me become confused . . ."

    Is it ok to do things like this?
     
  2. Kas

    Kas New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    567
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    The ***hole of the world
    This isn't a tense issue, as far as I can tell. . . But the meanings are slightly different.

    The first sentence suggests that you've been trying to purchase a new phone, and you presumably still are. . The second sentence states that you had been trying to purchase a new phone, which implies that, whether you found one or not, you are no longer trying to do so.

    It's a question of what exactly you are trying to say. If the matter is resolved, go with the second sentence. If you're still looking for a phone, go with the first one.

    In a present tense story, there's nothing wrong with explaining a past event.
     
  3. afinemess

    afinemess Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2009
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    11
    For some days I had been attempting to purchase a new phone. Why can't I move into the 21st Century, you ask? Simple, really: old farts like me become confused . . .

    I think that sounds okay and you wouldnt have to worry about tense, as an example, but I could be wrong. That's what I would have edited it too if I were writing.
     
  4. The Backward OX

    The Backward OX New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Outback Queensland, Australia, far from the maddin
    Hey, why couldn't I see that? It makes one seem such a klutz when someone else points it out. "Still trying" is what I need. Thanks.
     
  5. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,827
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    The tense within each sentence or clause is not necessarily the same as the tense associated with the narrative voice.

    The narrative voice is (third person) past tense, but the verbs vary from past and past perfect to present and future tense. Nevertheless, the past tense narrative voice is not compromised.
     
  6. Kas

    Kas New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    567
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    The ***hole of the world
    No problem.

    I get hung up on similar questions all the time. I've learned that it's generally best not to over-think the issue; your instincts are probably correct.:)
     
  7. Dcoin

    Dcoin New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2008
    Messages:
    278
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NYC
    In my experience, people have strong negative opinion with first person and present tense.
     
  8. Kas

    Kas New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    567
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    The ***hole of the world
    Dcoin, does this suggest a serious work in progress with publication in mind?

    Serious practice, on the other hand, can occur in any and all forms. . . Experimentation is good. More power to him.
     
  9. Dcoin

    Dcoin New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2008
    Messages:
    278
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NYC
     
  10. The Backward OX

    The Backward OX New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Outback Queensland, Australia, far from the maddin
    Update

    I'm still working on it. Someone elsewhere has told me to save myself a lot of aggro and write it in past; so just to annoy him I'm determined to see if I can do it my way, successfully. It may take a few days, but when I'm satisfied, I may put it up for crit.
     
  11. Kas

    Kas New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    567
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    The ***hole of the world
    Lol. Well, after reading through some of your threads, I'd really like to see your work.:)
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice