1. thisisyourend

    thisisyourend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2017
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0

    I'm having trouble with a goal for my villian?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by thisisyourend, Mar 25, 2018.

    Yilvoxe (MC) goes to the future where he is James Verely (V) the ruler of the land yahridge, westdrel.
    James took his daughter from his past self Yilvoxe to bring her to the future before she died at age 2. Who has a rune in her called the FOL which gives her the power to travel through time.
    James goes back in past so he can change the future
    At the end Yilvoxe is killed at the source of his transformation where he becomes James (through religious reasons like baptism) because the story being in a loop
    In the world there is a war happening between state alchemist and witches the goal of the witches is to find the philosopher stone.
    I have an idea why James wants to change the future which has to do with lovecraftian beings.
    So my question is what could be James plan that would have to do with his past self daughter, and the lovecrafts?
     
  2. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    22,664
    Likes Received:
    25,958
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    My head hurts just trying to work out whats going on - however goals for a villain are usually to get the maguffin before the Mc or to do XYZ to thwart the MC's goal
     
    Cephus and Andrew Alvarez like this.
  3. thisisyourend

    thisisyourend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2017
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please do tell what your confused about and I'll try to explain better.
     
  4. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    22,664
    Likes Received:
    25,958
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    basically the punctuation and sentence structure makes it near incomprehensible
     
  5. thisisyourend

    thisisyourend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2017
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Alright I'll try to make it more understandable.
    How the timeline begins is James lost his daughter when he was Yilvoxe, 23. She was 2.
    In a land called westdrel in the city, Yahridge. James is leader of the land and chief of state alchemists the army of the land that transmutate matter into their choice of weapons.
    These state alchemists deal with Alexandra and her witches whose goal is to find the philosopher stone.
    James discovers time travel and sees this as a chance to be with his daughter again. He steals his daughter from his past self.
    As the daughter grows up her name is changed to Agatha and a power comes out of her giving her the power to travel past and future.
    Yilvoxe is given a chance to be reunited with his daughter by a man from a different future timeline. This is where the story begins with him on his journey.
    On the journey he is successful but then finds out James is going to change the past to bring about something involving lovecraftian beings. His goal with these beings would also involve Agatha.
    So what could be his goal that involves these two factors.
     
  6. raine_d

    raine_d Active Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2011
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    146
    He's a ruler, yes? So what does he want to achieve as the ruler - more power (that's usually an obvious one)? Winning a war (maybe it's stalemated and he's desperate for a way to break it - maybe his side is losing)? Perhaps there's an unknown disease running through the land?

    Maybe Agatha's mother is dead and they both decide to try and reverse that?

    Basically it comes down to what sort of a person he is, which dictates what he might want enough for this.
     
  7. soupcannon

    soupcannon Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2018
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    197
    Location:
    1. noun; the act or process of locating.
    Okay, give me a moment to write this down and see if I follow your story line, here.

    • Yilvoxe is born, lives his life, and, at age 21, has a daughter. (Who is the mother, and what is the daughter's original name?)
    • When the daughter is two, she either dies or appears to die.
    • We have no idea what happens to Yilvoxe from this point on, except that he undergoes some kind of religious transformation to become James Verely.
    • James Verely rises in power to become the ruler of the city of Yahridge, in the land of Westdrel, and the chief of the State Alchemists.
    • At some point, there is an event which precipitates a war between the alchemists and the witches.
    • James discovers time travel. (This seems like a pretty big point. This would literally change everything.)
    • James goes back in time to steal his daughter, which is probably what made it look to Yilvoxe like his daughter had died.
    • The daughter is renamed Agatha. She grows up and develops time travel powers, as well.
    • James has a plan for the future which involves Lovecraftian beings.
    Okay, so here's what I'm thinking.

    Yilvoxe lives his life relatively unremarkably until his daughter is two. She dies in a dramatic fashion, like an accident or an explosion, where there would be no body to find. Yilvoxe begins to spiral into a life of depression, anger, and darkness. He eventually finds a cult dedicated to the Old Ones. He becomes a devout follower, always with the intent that he may one day have hsi daughter returned from the dead. he is willing to sacrifice everything to bring her back, even his own life.

    But his sacrifice isn't what he thought. The Old Ones don't quite kill him. Instead, his soul is ripped away and he is rewritten as James Verely. Yilvoxe is dead, and his body is now occupied by another, once who will carry out his dark masters' bidding to turn the world into their own hellish domain.

    James rises in power through political scheming, manipulation, violence, and dark dealings with alchemists and witches. When he is ruler, he is able to set his next plan into motion, a plan which requires the Philospher's Stone. Alexandra and her witches agree to help, but they have their own motivations. As the quest for the Stone goes on, not only do the witches' plans become clear to James, but Alexandra, too, becomes fearful of what James would do with the Stone. Eventually, the tensions rise to points that cannot be sustained and all-out war between the factions ensues, engulfing the land in weird warfare.

    Unfortunately for Alexandra and the rest of Westdrel, James' own research involves time travel. Through whatever dark alchemy and Lovecraftian powers he possesses, he realizes that his daughter was somehow the key. Since her powers effectively bridge time, James is able to exploit his close relation to her to use her own power to send himself back in time to her death. In this older time, James himself sets up the cult of the Old Ones. He fakes his daughter's death and abducts her. He watches Yilvoxe's downward spiral, and maybe even guides him toward the cult. Eventually, he himself oversees Yilvoxe's ritual of self-sacrifice, and the merger of his own soul with his past self. James then returns to the future with his daughter, Agatha.

    After a few years have passed, James and Agatha have learned to use her powers more precisely, and James begins the systematic erasure of his opponents. By eliminating them before they became threats, they simply cease to be, and James' power grows until he is set to engulf the world in whatever the Lovecraftian gods have planned.

    Now, you've not stated what the intended outcome would be, but I feel like this makes a pretty neatly-wrapped story. If you want James to be successful in his sinister campaign, you could have some witches write themselves out of existence with their own magic so that they exist outside of time and thus cannot be erased from it. DC comics' character Chronos (Walker Gabriel) achieved this in his short-lived series by ripping his page out of the Book of Destiny, in which all of reality is written. You could have some kind of similar thing, or make it as simple as hopping into a parallel dimension, for example. In keeping with the weird magical theme of witchcraft, perhaps they hide in a dream dimension, where they can affect James and Agatha when they sleep.

    Again, if James is intended to win, they could simply not have the power necessary to defeat whatever dark thing replaced Yilvoxe's soul to recreate him as James. In the end, James uses Agatha's power to open a doorway to the ancient, primordial days of Westdrel, and the Old Ones step through to his present day. End of story.

    If you intend James to lose, perhaps Alexandra is able to appeal to Agatha and convinces her to erase her dad from time. This would require her to sacrifice herself, since she would never have been born, then. She does, time resets, is never born and Alexandra lives a quiet life, only once dabbling in witchcraft before moving on to more constructive pursuits.

    Or maybe, she helps Agatha move sideways into her dimension, or dreamtime, so that the girl also lives outside of time and does not cease to exist when her dad is unmade.

    Anyway, it's just an opinion and you can feel free to take it or leave it as you like.
     
    Andrew Alvarez likes this.
  8. Danyal

    Danyal New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    He steals his daughter from his past self.

    This makes no sense, why would your MC do this to himself.

    This is where the story begins with him on his journey

    How will you articulate this in the start of your story?

    Overall you need to work on the start of your story and create these time lines yourself so you can understand them yourself, and also use this timeline to help others understand when asking for help. Also it'll help when describing the situation to the reader.

    Personally being thrown into a story like this takes the characterisation out of it and becomes more like a picture book but without the pictures.

    Sorry


     
  9. soupcannon

    soupcannon Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2018
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    197
    Location:
    1. noun; the act or process of locating.
    With time travel, and all the wackiness associated, I think this could work. Basically, his daughter was taken from him, which sets him down a path toward becoming the villain. As a villain, when he discovers time travel, he tries to save his daughter, but instead, ends up taking her, thus creating the incident which turned him into the villain he has become. I think it would be clearer if we knew what the circumstances surrounding the protagonist losing his daughter initially were, or appeared to be.

    If she was terminally ill, then he could be taking her to the future where medical treatment exists. If she died in a tragic accident, perhaps he appears to teleport her out of the car, then is overcome with how much he missed her and loved her and can't bear to be parted from her, so takes her back to the future.

    It would take some careful planning, but it could work.
     
  10. Danyal

    Danyal New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    How do you plan to portray this to the readers, what's your MC's emotions and way of life before the incident? You could use this to help contrast events in his past life to the future he is living now and reading these events would give me chills thinking of how time is so fluent it leaves scars on our future. These things don't have to be big they could be small things like how things arranged, prominent colours recurring animals. Villains have archenemies and for a time traveller that would be time.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice