Info through dialogue

Discussion in 'Dialogue Development' started by OurJud, Sep 18, 2017.

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  1. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

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    An excerpt from my WIP.

    I think I've got enough conversation in to give the flavour, and then - in the interests of brevity, and not boring the reader - moved to reporting the gist of the conversation, rather than giving it in full... complete with Dave's foul-mouthed tirade!

    I got a phone call from an incandescent Dave.

    “They’ve shut me down! Did you hear, they’ve fucking shut me down!”

    “Sorry, Dave, what’s this about?”

    “Those fucking fuckers from the fucking fuzz! That’s who! They can’t fucking do this! To me!”

    “The police? Why would they close you down?” I overlooked his unwitting alliteration.

    “It’s those bloody cowboys, they just had to go and bloody report it. That’s the last fucking work they get from me. I’ll get them deported back to wherever they came from!”

    Eventually I managed to calm Dave down enough to get the story from him. He’d managed to get the builders back in to look at the leaks...
     
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  2. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Oh yes, I get that you can do a lot with dialogue. (Actually, dialogue is something I enjoy writing as well.) It's just that I worry when people depend too much on dialogue carrying the whole story.

    It doesn't matter how well you write it, the thing is, it moves the story along very quickly. Some people regard the speed of page-turning as a mark of success, but some events and meanings need a bit of time to sink in. The significance of what is said needs to be explored as well, and if it's just a stream of dialogue coming at you there is no time to do that. Too much unleavened dialogue can exhaust the reader. And that means they can stop paying attention.
     
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