1. paperbackwriter

    paperbackwriter Banned Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1,466
    Location:
    uluru australia

    Is chatting (talking) on the phone to your friends your favourite mode of communication?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by paperbackwriter, Sep 25, 2018.

    I'm not so young anymore but one advantage to the new tech age, is I don't have to talk on the phone as much. I can text or email or message via facebook. This suits people like me. I say that because I am softly-spoken. In conversations, I tend to get easily drowned out and forced into a listener's role. Not that I'm a great listener either. Forced into a passive role is closer to the mark.
    What I like about emails and texts is the turn taking. Softies like me get a better deal. We have the opportunity to give a decent response, whereas in spoken conversations, it feels like "the quick and the dead". You need to get your thoughts in early. Modern social media has enabled me to develop my thinking and ability to communicate more forcefully and on a more even ground. I might even fit into that stereotype of confident nerd online. Still in spoken conversations I feel some dread. It can be competitive. Nothing worse in my view. As if one person, instinctively rather than consciously, tries to take control. Does it always have to be the case?
    And interestingly friends and family close to my age (baby boomers) seem to prefer random spoken chats than emilas or texts. I avoid this when possible. Such is my obsessive nature that I ask for a text warning if they want to talk. I don't like surprises. So maybe Im the control freak then eh... :)
     
    Shenanigator likes this.
  2. Bone2pick

    Bone2pick Conspicuously Conventional Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2018
    Messages:
    1,449
    Likes Received:
    1,599
    Face to face by a mile. Body language and tone are too important to sacrifice if I can help it. Besides, there's nothing like sharing a laugh with good company.
     
  3. Irina Samarskaya

    Irina Samarskaya Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2018
    Messages:
    290
    Likes Received:
    140
    I very strongly prefer face-to-face conversations, so to get all the body language, tonality, and other subtle stuff right. All other forms of communication are flawed in one way or another (whether it be the potential for an unclear tone in text, the potential for garbled speech over a wire, etc.).
     
  4. paperbackwriter

    paperbackwriter Banned Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    571
    Likes Received:
    1,466
    Location:
    uluru australia
    a lot of people would agree with you. I guess I'm not one who loves "small talk" either. Writing/typing lends itself to a more measured philosophical tone, which adds more depth in my humble view. :)
     
    Shenanigator likes this.
  5. Moon

    Moon Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2017
    Messages:
    3,545
    Likes Received:
    9,323
    Face to face. Online conversations aren't social enough for me. They feel like a hallow version of what actual interaction is. Phone calls, for me, are treated like business calls since I don't like holding the thing to my ear for very long.
     
    Shenanigator likes this.
  6. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4,886
    Likes Received:
    8,759
    Depends on how long I've known the person. If I don't know them well, phone or Discord until I know them well enough to meet them in person. My day gig involves a lot of meeting and talking to people, and I've reached the point where I'm sick of the superficiality of the same three questions everyone asks new people face to face: ("What do you do?" "Are you from around here?/Where are you from?" "What do you like to do for fun?") So in my personal life I try to avoid it with people I don't know.

    My friends and I are usually all in different cities and prefer different modes of communication, so I FaceTime with some, talk on the phone with others, text with others, and Email if they insist. It's hard to have a two-way conversation via email, and it's time-consuming, so it's not my preference.

    My closest friends and I often FaceTime with our cameras flipped so we each can see what's happening in each other's worlds as we talk, which is probably my favorite after the phone because I'm an intensely curious person. My favorite by far, though, is by speakerphone when we're each doing a mundane task like filing or cooking dinner or packing for a trip, because it's a much more relaxed way of talking and removes walls people tend to have up when they're talking face to face. Living in L.A., I tend never to believe anything anyone tells me face to face, because it's a performance. (edited for clarity)
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2018
    Some Guy and CerebralEcstasy like this.
  7. DK3654

    DK3654 Almost a Productive Member of Society Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2018
    Messages:
    1,244
    Likes Received:
    1,384
    Location:
    In the vibe zone
    I like in person. Phone is more awkward if nothing else and messages aren't particularly substantive- though great for passing comments.
     
  8. MangoKate

    MangoKate New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2017
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Australia
    I like messaging. I’m quiet and awkward, so I feel more confidence behind my screen, which helps me get to know people better before we meet up face to face again. Once I get to know people better though it depends on my mood whether I’d prefer talking face to face or through text.
    I hate phonecalls, I sometimes hear my voice and hate it.

    Also maybe it sounds immature but I often prefer arguing/big discussion with my SO being done through text. When I get angry or upset, I struggle to get my point across properly in conversation. I like it better when I have time to think about each reply and if I get too worked up, I don’t have to reply immediately.
     
    Shenanigator and Some Guy like this.
  9. CerebralEcstasy

    CerebralEcstasy Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2017
    Messages:
    223
    Likes Received:
    459
    Location:
    Earth
    I somewhat prefer text or email. I will admit though, sometimes my writing is a bit haphazard and can take on several meanings. I know the way I intend to come across, but often my writing doesn't necessarily convey the thought I had...

    I also speak this way in real life. It's rather awkward.
     
  10. newjerseyrunner

    newjerseyrunner Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
    Messages:
    1,418
    Likes Received:
    1,391
    Face to face but only with people like me. People say I speak like Captain Kirk. It’s because I’m deciding the words for the full sentence before I start speaking while I feel most people do stream of consciousness from their mind to their mouth. I also tend not to use fillers like “um”, I expect that the listener will either understand that I still have more to say, or is likewise forming their own response and I still have time to speak.

    I’m utterly confused by people who emphasize things by explaining things in multiple ways . That’s just lazy, take your time to think, then speak deliberately. Adding more information makes things less clear, not more.
     
    paperbackwriter likes this.
  11. Necronox

    Necronox Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2015
    Messages:
    724
    Likes Received:
    801
    Location:
    Canton de Neuchatel, Switzerland
    Is chatting on the phone my favourite method of communication? No.

    However, I do use a lot of VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) in programs like Teamspeak or Discord. These are by far my main method of communication and I do not mind them. A lot of people say that to have a proper conversation you need to have face-to-face as otherwise you miss on a large part of the conversation. I would disagree. Whilst I do prefer face-to-face as a conversation method, I do not think that using VOIP, or chatting on phone via texting or otherwise, significantly detriments the conversation. But, it is a little different, with a different note.

    Text-based communication I think (like email, sms, etc...) are by far the least personal. people can view a text, and reply to it when they want to and they do not have to affect or change their lives, day or timing for it.
    Face-to-Face is the most personal. You need to physically be present in that location and it takes time as you need to specifically pay attention to the conversation (unlike other forms).
    Voice-Based Communications like Phone, VOIPs and the likes are somewhere between the two.

    As I said, personally, I prefer face-to-face. but as a whole each have their own role. I'd rather email a company for an application or otherwise, or get an email from by bank with my statement. I think a phone conversation would be very odd here. Conversely, I would hate buying a car via email or txt.

    Time and place for each.
     
  12. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2010
    Messages:
    13,427
    Likes Received:
    8,028
    Location:
    California, US
    I hate talking on the phone.

    Face to face. If not that, send me a text or email.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice