Is this a little too brutal? (Describing an execution)

Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Link the Writer, Aug 23, 2017.

  1. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    It would be nice if Mishu had something that actually gave her power, so that she could do this. The little apparently-powerless person exerting power, with high stakes on both sides (they could kill her; she could refuse to repair the whatsit or translate the whatsit or whatever) could be pretty cool. Highly flavored. :)
     
  2. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    3,421
    Likes Received:
    2,083
    Location:
    New York
    Yes, but... what is she going to do for a guide dog now? Doesn't he need time to heal? I mean, isn't she pissed off? Doesn't she kind of want him to be hurt? (Not broken shoulders and hips, maybe, and maybe not beheaded, but hurt. Punished. You know? If it was my direwolf guide dog(wolf?) I'd be pissed. And then there's all the other stuff he did....
     
  3. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    15,023
    Likes Received:
    9,676
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    Ooh! Good idea! Create more tension that way. Maybe Mishu could say, "You stop horribly killing him right now or else I won't help you with [this or that]!" And if they threaten to kill her too, she says something like, "I'm the only one who can help you. Kill me, and you'll be right back where you started!"

    Aaah, now I understand. At this stage, her dog is injured and M.I.A. so she's probably not going to be very empathetic to the man. She probably expects a flogging and is shocked at the brutality of the actual execution.

    Another idea, what if the agent knows where her guide dog is/knows information she needs so she CAN'T afford to have him die.
     
    Trish likes this.
  4. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    3,421
    Likes Received:
    2,083
    Location:
    New York
    This makes more sense to me.
     
    Link the Writer likes this.
  5. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    15,023
    Likes Received:
    9,676
    Location:
    Alabama, USA
    And it explains why she'd care about this bastard at all. I mean, were I in her shoes, I probably wouldn't care WHAT they wanted to do to him.
     
    Trish likes this.
  6. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    3,421
    Likes Received:
    2,083
    Location:
    New York
    Yes. Much better. She doesn't really care about him, but she needs her guide back. *nods*
     
    Link the Writer likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice