In this day and age it is so hard to tell if your writing is appropriate for the age group you are targeting. So many questions roll through your mind as your writing, will your readers get that joke, is it to racy for them. How do you figure out is these things will work? Let me give you an example, In a novel I writing I have this little sequence: “Sandman, wake up!” The groans from behind told him that he had woken the beast. “Are we there yet.” Asked John in his normal sedated manner. They could have been under fire and he wouldn’t care as long as he could go back to sleep after it was over. “No, I just have a question, then you can go back to sleep.” “Ok boss you have my attention.” “How would you like to go on a double date with me and Angel some time, get coffee or something?” “That’d be great but who would I bring? You said I can’t bring Betsy out in public any more.” “Yeah didn’t she pop or something” “Yeah, but I got a patch kit and she’s as good as new. Looked like someone stabbed her with an ice pick or something. Can’t imagine who would have done something like that.” Actually it had been a ball point pen and at the time Pat had felt sort of bad about it, but he later decided that it was for the best and the bad feeling he’d had was more than likely something he had eaten. Pat made a mental note to uses a chainsaw next time. If you haven't figured it out it is a joke about an inflatable sex toy...now what age is this ok for, I had planed the novel for a teen age group, but jokes like that might put it over the top, any thoughts?
The joke is just fine for a YA crowd (you can get away with rather a lot when it comes to teens these days). Either someone would get it or they wouldn't. So I'd say 14-15 and up would be fine. (Be careful though, if the characters are in high school, generally that means the book is middle grade. Kids tend to read 3-5 years ahead of their age group- so teens read about young college students, pre-teens read about high school age kids, etc...) However, and I realize this wasn't the question you were asking, but this writing sample needs a lot more work than just figuring out if the joke is age appropriate.
It's not at all too racy. Seriously. Peruse some YA stuff and you'll see what I mean. I didn't get what you meant by "pop" at first...I was thinking maybe you meant she was pregnant , but then you mentioned the ice pick and such. And yeah, the piece you posted here definitely needs some clean-up work.
Yeah, I know, when I write, it is more like idea vomit rather than any thing close to a finished product....I've got a brain like a steal sieve, I've got to get those thoughts out of there and on to paper, before I lose them.:redface: