Hmm. If she's simply lost interest in him, I can't see much he can do about it. People do grow apart. I've always been wary of relationships that 'get back together' after a breakup. Of course, if the couple has been forced to split because of circumstances beyond their control, that's different. I'm thinking of young people whose parents won't allow them to be together, or move their families to opposite sides of the country when the lovers are only 15 years old, and can't do anything about it. Or people who are married, but not to each other, choose to end the extramarital relationship to avoid hurting other people. Reunion later on can be sweet indeed, if the original split was never what the couple wanted. However, if the couple splits because one or the other of them has fallen out of love, whatever caused the a rift in the first place is VERY likely to crop up again if they try to get back together. I'm not saying it always does, but it usually does. I'm with @chicagoliz on this one. I think frantic attempts to 'woo' somebody who has truly gone off their former partner would simply be annoying. At best, it might work for a short time only. Better to just move on.
Similar to what the mapmaker said, ending a relationship as you described cannot only be attributed to insecurity but it is a defense mechanism as well. Being separated by an ocean is difficult; people become scared and lonely. As much as they love the other person, it can be easier to avoid the pain of being apart. When we start to compartmentalize or hide from our feelings we have to have justification for our actions; in this case, justifying the giving up on the relationship by saying you want to be single again. I do not think your character needs to woo his woman. He needs to provide solid evidence for a reason to tolerate the geographic separation; to provide hope.
But I can't imagine a situation where the reasons are unimportant. Maybe that's his problem--maybe he thinks that the reasons are unimportant, that he doesn't need to do any messy uncomfortable self-reflection but just needs to find the universal tricks for winning a woman back. Maybe the conclusion is that he realizes that he can either do that self-reflection and change himself, or he can give her up.
I was thinking something similar. I have no problem maintaining a long distance relationship. I am self-confident and don't have trust issues. The problem comes when I project my feelings on the other; if I don't have a problem, why should they. We all have to stop and reflect upon how the other person feels and every couple needs honest communication. A ten minute bad conversation can save ten years of a relationship.
This. Exactly. Reasons are always important. If a relationship ends, there's always a reason, even if one of them doesn't want to admit it. Maybe the woman is unhappy, but the man didn't realize it. So then the whole book would be about him trying to better himself to save their relationship. Saying that there is no reason, they both just liked being single, doesn't make a novel. In real life, if both people liked being single so they grew apart, the relationship would end, period. There has to be a reason or there's no story.
Well, for example, when I got into a fight with my husband, afterwards as we were making up, he suggested he could take me to this new Indian restaurant that his colleague recommended. In Prague, Indian is reeeally expensive and for that reason, we never go, but I absolutely adore Indian food. When he suggested that, it really made me smile because I knew he was trying hard lol. I'd ditto what someone else said earlier - they have to start over. Separate and start really dating again, re-get-to-know one another. The problem with your question is, this kinda thing is more specific than you'd think, and if you knew your girl character well enough, then you should actually know what would make her cave. So I guess my best advice is this: re-examine if you know your character well enough and flesh her out more. What has disappointed her to the point of kicking him out? What's disenchanted her? What would she like in a man? For example, when I was in a horrible relationship as a student, I used to look on with envy at my housemate's boyfriend. He's now her husband and happily married. I never fancied him - and for a while I was worried that I might have fancied him but that wasn't it. I only wished that there would be a guy who would treat me like he's treating my friend. This guy - before he does anything, he turns round to his girlfriend and asks, "What do you think? What are your plans? Would you be comfortable with that?" He always thought about her feelings, prioritised her. There were some annoying aspects for us who were the friends, but he was an excellent boyfriend. He was an absolute angel to her. So, I guess, your character would have to do something that would make the girl feel special, and what would feel special to her would be unique to her, so you'll have to come up with that yourself. There was once, I was at my sister's wedding and dating my now-husband. It was the first time I ever had the opportunity to dance with a guy. The dance floor was emptying and I was getting awkward and nervous because I can't dance, and as I said, this was my first time ever to dance with someone I liked. I was in my bridesmaid's dress and he was in his suit, and he took me and smiled down at me, looked me in the eye and said, "Relax. Don't worry about them. It's just you and me." My word, I think I still remember the way he looked at me then. Another romantic moment was the proposal. We were sitting in a park in the sun, just hugging and giggling and then he whips out the ring, our noses touching, and asks, "Will you be my bunny forever?" (or something like that lol - bunny is his nickname for me) It defies all the norms of being on one knee and everything all dramatic and pre-planned, and it was the cutest thing ever. He gave me a public proposal once before (our relationship was a little bit of a roller coaster beforehand due to bitter in-laws) and I remember that one too, it included the down on one knee thing and public applause and even champagne, but it wasn't half as romantic as the one in the park. The one in the park - that was special, and just for us.
Honestly, having just waded through a similar crock of s****, if she's flat-out not interested in talking then he should just give up. Trying to get her attention will only wind her up. If she's made a mistake, she'll see it in time.
Now I might agree with this if it is just a relationship between two people, but there can be several mitigating circumstances that could make the situation a little more difficult. What if the two have a child together? What if the two have property together? A business together? Own a fantasy football team together?
Ah, didn't think of that. Should've seen the last one coming It's up to both to work towards it, in that case; one can't do anything without the other being willing to listen, no matter how much you might try.
