Lads and Girls Thread.

Random :s

I dont blush though. Blushing comes from lack of confidence I find.

Man, hindsight is really, really lame. Right now, I am really, really angry at myself. I couldve gotten some sweet hookups last night, but just because Im such a 'nice guy' i decided that no, I would not hook up with the chick who has been all over me for the entire duration of the party because I have/had a thing for her and oh my god confusion, but such is the life of a teenager.

Good on me though for picking up a chick three years my senior.

 

LOL. I like both the random remarks.

first off- i blush-alll the time-not from lack of confidence-nope-only from anxiety-not cute at all. I guess its more of a flush.....very uncool

second off- frost....man up. Go after your girl. Give her a call. Flirt-have fun. The worst thats going to happen is shes not in to you and then what?....you have no hindsight regrets

 

Anxienty/lack of confidence aren't they sort of one in the same?
It doesnt anymore I got over that fit of rage when i hooked up with a different girl(only one year senior to me this time) on the oval on monday.

 

I have already failed in this area of my life, and I have already accepted it. There is no sense in trying.

Also, the fact that I never tried in the first place only proves my point.

 

There are like a zillion forms of anxiety. I really enjoy talking to people, and dont feel like it is a confidence issue-who knows with the subconscious though. Congrats on the hook up..............? dont know what to say about that hahaha.
handguns you have some self worth issues.... try try and try again. get your confidence up there and enjoy life.

 

We all have confidence we just have to find it again from time to time.

 

Thats a good way to put it. I just get anxiety when I am running late for something, or if I am in a room with like 100 people....not really a confidence issue....dont really know what its about. The mind is wierd.

 

Being a drummer -> playing on stage helps alot with issues like these.

But seriously guys.

Chicks like confidence.

 

No we just like individuality. Confidence is just a perk.

 

I've become accustomed to being alone. It doesn't bother me not having a boyfriend, but of course I get frustrated not having someone to be there. I have always thought of myself as not good enough for anyone else.

 

Bottom line is that you need to change your negative thoughts. The more negative you are in areas the less likely you are to change anything about it.
You are good enough
you are worth the effort
and sometimes it takes a little effort to get things you want.
dont give up!

 

I gave up... until college at least.

Out of the two girls I liked in my entire high school career, one had no particular interest, and the other confused me severely... either way, they're both with another guy right now. So now I sit and wait for a new pond to fish in.

But I agree with the magician above, negative thoughts will only multiply until you're stricken with inertia... I felt like that and it sure didn't help me any. Just shove your fears to a distant area for a while and go approach someone you're interested in. If you genuinely like them, it's more-than-likely because there is a possible connection, and that person probably won't just shrug you off. If they're not interested, at least you will know. Regretting stuff like that is torture and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: he'll see this girl who has no self-esteem and will have less incentive to explore the wonder that is you.

 

He makes me happy. Very happy. He makes me feel like no one else has made me before.

And during the two and a half years that has occured, I have never told him. I don't want anyone else, so I don't try. I suppose I should just get it over with by speaking to him, fall hard and fast, and get on with my life because it sure is putting it on hold.

gah, I'm a stupid girl.

 

most girl are stupid-its called horomones(im a girl too so I can say that -heh heh
If you like the guy, go after the guy. Dont let self doubt control your life.

 

Easier said than done.

But I do agree with this. Everytime I had feelings for some guy, and those feelings are somewhat reciprocated, I'd let it go. A sign that he's getting serious, and I bail. There's always a lot of baggage involved with the guy: he has an ex girlfriend he's still not quite over, he's got family issues, he's moving out of the state, etc. I seem to have some sort of barometer in me that attracts sad people and flakes.

But we never really got our feelings out, and for the rest of my life, I have to carry that with me. That I was too afraid to try. No one should have to carry that sort of chip on their shoulder.

So even if your feelings aren't reciprocated, sometimes it's better to admit your feelings

 

Ah yes that is a very good point you have made Still Life and I agree with you totally, but when you have met a guy that is the brother to your best friends boyfriend who feels the same way about you as you do him and neither has the guts to stand up and admit it and the friend is saying that it is not worth it what are you meant to do then?

I met a guy, he is perfect in my eyes, loves me and my kids and they love him too. But you see the thing is that he has got to go back to working in the trucks, driving all over the country and due to the fact that my ex is in the same career it has put him off the whole relationship idea. How can i prove to a him that i'm not going to bail because of a job that is going to take him away from me for days even weeks away from me at a time, at any given time day or night?
Especially when the last relationship i was in nded when the ex was just starting out in the truck driving career, but the relationship there was over a long time before that though.
But how on earth can i convince him that Iwon't walk out becuase he is hardly ever home? Is it possible?

~Torana

 

Torana. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that is going to take a while. The only way that you’re going to convince him that you’re not going anywhere is to prove it. This could take even a year. On the up-side, if you can last that long, you would have proven yourself to him.

 

My wife and I separated almost four months ago. Looking back on it, I don’t think that I was in love with her in the first place, but at the time, it felt like it. We wanted so badly to fill the void in our lives with each other that we felt we could overcome anything.

There were so many signs pointing out that our relationship wasn’t meant to be; but because the two of us were so determined to be in love, we ignored them. The marriage was a disaster from day one. We made it a little bit over two years, but nearly every day was pure hell.

How do you know when something is real love, or if you only “think” its love, because you want it so badly?

 

This is going to sound dumb, and possibly like I'm joking, but I'm being serious here. Renovate a house, or do a big expensive project together.
A lot of divorces occur when a couple do renovations, because its tiring, its frustrating, its expensive, and almost anything can and often will go wrong.
There will be arguments, hurt feelings, and other things, but if you can stick it out together the sense of satisfaction, and accomplishment makes it all worthwhile.
Now if a couple isn't even married that puts more tension onto the relationship. So if you stay together even through the roughest parts, you can be pretty sure its love.

Thats the problem with a lot of couples, they don't suffer any real hardships together, until after they're married. So a beautiful but fragile relationship will just shatter when things get tough. By working together before marriage on something difficult you've already been through the fire, and know that you can handle adversity.
Hope this made sense.

 

Something else you could do, take a long trip together away from civilization.
One or two weeks alone, camping or on a boat, you'll discover fairly quickly if you love each other, or just what you can do together.

 

Kincaid thankyou ever so kindly for your advice, it does help. I guess all I can do is wait for him and in time he figures out where we stand.

Thankyou kindly Kincaid, your advice is most helpful.

~Torana

 

No problem Torana.


Domoviye.

Hmmmmm. I'll have to keep your advice in mind for the next time (if there is one)...thanks a lot.

 

How do you tell someone that you are sick of their attitude?

 

Like you just did... although some people would find that too offensive. It depends who they are, what they've done and how likely they are to get upset...

Make sure you say what exactly you're sick of and why though, if you simply say you're sick of their attitude... they may not know what they've done wrong...

 

I learnt from Dr. Phil that when talking about problems never blame everything on them . Ie: dont say you do this and you do that.
say-I have a problem with how we talk to each other. Or how we are communicating. Just be grown up about it and I am sure it will work out.-good luck