Legacy of Trump and racism into cli-fi plot - believable?

Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Hubardo, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I'm assuming this is a short story, since the deadline is in two weeks? I think it can definitely work in that format, though I echo what others have said about basing the character on Trump but not calling him Trump. Personally I would read it and expect to enjoy it, if enjoy is the right word for such issues.
     
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  2. Kingtype

    Kingtype Banned Contributor

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    Hmmmmmm

    I'm not sure how much this will contribute but you might be able to use it down the line if you're ever interested, which is the Kardashev civilization scale. I always found it pretty neat.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kardashev_scale

    http://www.veronicasicoe.com/blog/2014/04/the-kardashev-scale-0-to-6/

    Video gives a pretty good general idea



    Maybe it will give you some inspiration for this short story or future stuff :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2016
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  3. Hubardo

    Hubardo Contributor Contributor

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    Okay, the idea of taking Trump out is dying hard! I just found myself writing:

    Stuff blaring out of the radio:

    “You liberals got solar panels on EVERYTHING and guess what?” says a man from the radio next to the bed. “The storms and floods and fires keep COMING. And I’ll TELL you why. Carbon dioxide is a HARMLESS molecule, always HAS been. I’ll tell you what IS the problem. Giving BLACKS a free ride. Letting MEXICANS and MUSLIMS into our COMMUNITIES. THESE, my friend, are the FACTS.”

    Response from MC:

    “Who the fuck— what the fuck…“ Corine cringes. She remembers Arnando’s comment. Underneath the annoying thing. She checks under the radio blaring total kochtrump garbage. The note says:

    --

    Now I'm lumping the Koch bros AND Trump into one loaded term. Should I dump it? I think it's cute. Tell me to dump it!
     
  4. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    It feels like your satire is pretty damn broad, here. Not a lot of subtlety.

    Which may be what you're going for. But I worry that an entire story written like this might end up feeling like it was beating the reader over the head with its perspective. (And I say that as someone who pretty much shares the perspective...)
     
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  5. Hubardo

    Hubardo Contributor Contributor

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    Out of the 1,000 words I have so far this is the only snippet that includes the perspective. It's mostly the MC running from badguys because of some hacking she did. Duly noted though.
     
  6. CGB

    CGB Active Member

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    Lol ok? What does your plot have to do with climate change? This is what I read:

    So you are basically asking the average person to believe that someone half the country will probably vote for* would support ethnic cleansing (or appoint/support people who do).

    No I don't think this is believable...unless your audience has a strong bias (left-wing bias).

    I didn't say anything about science, real or otherwise.
    You read what you wanted to into my comments in order to be condescending.
    Have fun with your story.

    (* = based on past elections, obviously +/- few percent but that is what most presidential elections come down to these days)
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2016
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  7. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Sounds like you're trying to write a Grand Theft Auto rip-off. Let them do the satires.

    Joking aside, but sorry, but I agree with @CGB . You're expecting me to believe in a plot where some guy uses climate changes as an excuse for his persecution against minorities. That half the country wouldn't figure it out and try to do something about it. That, oh, I don't know, the entire rest of the frickin' world wouldn't do something about it?!

    Seriously? You really, honestly think that no one would eventually want to do something about this crazy dude who has a beef against minorities? And I'm fairly certain he would've picked more tangible reasons to persecute them rather than climate change. Hate to pull a Godwin's law, but when Hitler was blaming Germany's problems on minority groups like the Jews, he wasn't citing weather as one of them. He used the economy, Germany's loss in World War I, that sort of thing.

    My recommendation is to chip it down to a city. Corrupt city officials acting like this is more believable to me than a leader of a country doing it and absolutely zero people do nothing to stop him. Also, have that official use tangible reasons to sway the public thinking against the minorities.

    EDIT: Sorry if this hurts your feelings, but none of this is believable to me. If you want to do satire, make the inner logic of the satire at least make sense. A dictator/overlord/whatever blaming economic/political woes on the minorities is a lot more believable to me than blaming climate changes on them. Now, the climate changes can still happen, and he can just freely ignore the plight of the minority groups suffering in those affected areas, but I doubt, if he wants to sway people to his thinking, he's not going to blame the uncontrollable weather on the minority groups.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2016
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  8. Hubardo

    Hubardo Contributor Contributor

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    @Link the Writer

    Thanks for the feedback. Doesn't hurt my feelings at all.
     
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  9. Hubardo

    Hubardo Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks to everyone's feedback here, and from elsewhere, this is what I came up with. Feel free to comment within that thread.

    PS. Trump has been removed, and race is only a subtle element now.
     
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  10. Samurai Jack

    Samurai Jack Active Member

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    *** Crap. Havent' read the actual story yet.

    I believe the entire premise. I'm not 100% sure about superstorms, I think regular old flooding will do it, but whatever. It's January 9th, 50 degrees outside and I spent the entire day out riding. If I can have that, you can have superstorms.

    I don't know the details, but I would completely buy into the idea the coordinated mass evacuation of poor, minority people would take a back seat to say, people and items of wealth and value. I can imagine the Smithsonian getting precedence, or people with only the clothes on their back sitting in standby at the airport while suits with luggage and pets walk onto planes at $10,000 a ticket.

    I get the apathy, the racism... I can totally understand a political ideology that would just sort of let this happen.
     
  11. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    You people are just giving The Donald ideas, if he ever reads these threads. :) Hey, climate change ...why not blame Mexicans and Muslims for that! It'll float, just like everything else I've been spouting. :twisted:

    @Wreybies ...do NOT let Donald Trump join The Writer's Forum ...please....
     

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