I’m the guy who pisses everywhere but the urinals in a pub. I’m the guy who leaves unidentifiable stains on seats on public transport that you can’t tell are wet or dry. I’m the guy that programs sport on every channel on TV on the weekend. I’m the guy who puts the blurry bits in Japanese porn. I’m the guy who makes the CD skip at your favourite part. I’m the guy who makes you laugh in the middle of a bong pull. I’m the guy your girlfriend checks out in the street at the very moment she’s getting bored with you. I’m the guy who wrote those feel-good Nescafé ads. And I have a novel coming out. My debut novel Kafe Gavani is serialised online. You can check it out at kafegavani.com Hopefully this forum will provide me with some real assistance with my writing.