Letting a lover read your work

Discussion in 'Revision and Editing' started by deadrats, Jul 6, 2017.

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  1. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I do think it helps if you can provide your beta with a short list of questions to consider as they read. They might not understand what you mean by 'feedback,' unless you are specific beforehand.
     
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  2. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    And why not, being petty is very satisfying.

    Maybe this highlights our differences as people but my experience is typically that when I say "I've written a book" most people look slightly scared. Upon hearing I write teen romance that moves close to panic. I don't know what I did (specifically anyway) to make people think the prospect of a romance written by me is terrifying but I would quite like to find out. I mean, they aren't wrong as such, but even those with rarified sensibilities make assumptions.
     
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  3. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Do they ever ask if they could read it? If not, have you got any idea why? Strange. Maybe it's the 'teen' thing that puts them off? Why not try mentioning something about what the book is about—the setting and characters—rather than the age group you're aiming at?

    I found when people asked me, or I mentioned I was writing a book, I always said it was 'set in the old west, but it's not a western.' I had people queuing up to read it. (In fact, that was a problem, because I ended up giving up my first awful draft to too many people. I wish I had saved more of them for my subsequent revisions ...but that's another story.)
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2017
  4. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    It's definitely because they know me.

    People immediately start to figure out what sort of thing I would write and pretty much just assume the worst and decide they really don't want to deal with that. This only gets worse when you say you write in a relatively inoffensive genre. Imagine David Lynch just told you that he's directing the next series of Peppa Pig. Somehow that doesn't make you more confident that he'll tone down the weirdness, does it? If anything the combination of 'notoriously dark' and 'for kids' makes it worse, doesn't it?

    I can't really say I haven't courted that kind of reputation. In fact I've gone to specific efforts to that end. But it does make it harder to make people want to read your books.
     
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  5. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Yeeks. However, I'd be less likely to want to read a teen romance from a teenaged romantic. I love the potential for surprise, and it sounds as if you're a bundle of surprises. You just need to encounter the right reader. Somebody whose eyes light up at the thought that you YOU you wrote a teen romance. I'm sure those folks are out there. Somewhere.

    David Lynch and Peppa Pig? Sounds unmissable to me.
     
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  6. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    Well as I say, there is a certain kind of person to whom teen books written by me instantly peaks their curiosity. However the only one I know is my former house mate Gary who I spent some years drinking and doing drugs with and who has the kind of rarified sensibilities to immediately like my work just on spec. Unfortunately not a big a reader.

    This is uniquely a problem with beta-readers though. As you suggest there is already a problem in trying to convince people (mostly men) that a teen book could ever speak to them anyway, and when you add to that all of the surprises that being written by me implies then it's having to argue in two different directions just to get them to take a look at something. Someone who has zero interest in the genre as well as who maybe suspects that anything I write is going to be too far out there for them anyway, well, yeah that's really hard to get people wanting to put the time in.

    But when I'm sending my work to agents who handle teen books suddenly my work becomes much more interesting to them. It's something they already want to read with one extra unique element (the weird, dark bits) on top and while I am yet to conquer the world, I have gotten good responses to my writing from them. They don't know me, they don't know how dark I like things to be, they don't know that I've already toned things down a lot in editing to get it right. They just know this is a book with a bit more edge and angst than usual and thus it doesn't count against me the kind of person that they think I am.

    Even when people don't know me, just talking on places like this means people start to pick up an idea of my style. They know I like writing horrible things. They know I like deep, wrenching emotional pain. Even on a more general level, they know I write character focused books with a focus on emotional moments. And even when people say that sounds great, it's really hard to get them to read my teen books as opposed to the grown up ones I wrote before. My teen books are written to be challenging, but challenging to teenagers and that (seemingly) takes the edge off it so even if you are really into this stuff then you'd rather get the 'pure' version.

    I am yet to meet anyone who has wanted to read any of my teen books. People generally like the ideas. If I tell them what's in them then they like the sound of them. I've made people cry telling them about my books. And I take that as a great compliment. But even people who really love what I'm doing don't actually want to read them. The only person who's read anything I've read in the past two years has been my mum who proofed my first teen book and I had to talk her into it. It's just a factor of being a guy like me writing weird books for teenage girls. All of those words are potential hurdles.

    Sadly my parole office strongly objected to my hanging around outside the local girls school :p. I am yet to explore if there actually are any online groups of teens to perhaps find feedback from; at least to give me a way to conquer some of the hurdles of perception and just get people to read the first few chapters without knowing anything else. I think that if I can get that kind of beta-reader then they'll love my work, I'm just trying to figure out how to get there without introducing myself or what I write, you know?
     
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  7. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I assume you're joking about the parole ossifer?
     
  8. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    Yes. Although I have to imagine that I would acquire such an officer fairly quickly if I spent my time hanging around outside a girls school. Somehow I doubt 'it's for research, honest guv!' isn't going to cut it.

    Alas, long gone are the days when I could park up outside the playground and take schoolgirls drinking with me. At least back then I had the defense of being their age which, while disreputable, is a bit more acceptable.
     
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  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Aye, but you could probably get them to read your work. Worth a try? Think of all the revision you could do, sitting in the pokey.
     
  10. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    I really would prefer to hang out with teenage girls without going to prison. Is that too much to ask?
     
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  11. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    If you're an old fart, yep, probably too much to ask. If you're young and sprightly, well get in there while you still are.
     
  12. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    I'm definitely sprightly but I have just turned thirty :(. But I still have so much angst!
     
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  13. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    You're just a child. But a kinda old one. Yeah, hanging out at school grounds is probably a mistake. You'll just have to ask all those elderly teenagers you know of 30+ what they remember about school days, I reckon. At least they should still have memory.
     
  14. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    I try, but alas my fiance won't read my books either.
     
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  15. Kater

    Kater Member

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    My fiance and I share our work from time to time. Neither of us has written much lately, so it's been awhile. We do love talking about our work with each other and bouncing ideas off each other; we're both the richer for it. I can be quite shy about my writing and probably wouldn't do well with her reading my work right in front of me at home, so when the time comes I'll probably put my draft on her Kindle and she can read it on her break at work and give me feedback later, hahaha.
     
  16. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    My husband doesn't enjoy fiction and generally isn't a reader. Like he reads articles and such, the news, but almost never books. I think he's managed two or three non-fiction ones that were recommended or given to him, but that's about it. However, he did read my novel without me even asking when it was done :) and he's always happy to hear me read him a scene or talk about my stories. He can be useful for vetting whether something's realistic, but that's about it.

    Reading a scene to him can be a pain though because he switches on and off and being a non-native English speaker, there are often words he doesn't understand... Don't get me wrong, his English is excellent and when it comes to business and academic English, he's better than me, but since he doesn't read fiction and he's non-native, there are just too many words he never really sees...
     
  17. Endersdragon

    Endersdragon New Member

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    I'm letting my sorta girlfriend read my work... but that's at least somewhat because she's written a lot as well and is quite blunt at times lol so I figure she might have some decent advice.
     
  18. Damien Loveshaft

    Damien Loveshaft Active Member

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    My S.O. and I have similar reading and writing habits so it only seems natural. However he and I also rpg together so I don't think there's anything left for us to be shy about if we see each others crap off the cuff story telling.

    As far as making a non writer a good beta reader I recommend finding well spoken individual who can explain thoroughly why they do or don't like a book. If they can't express these things it's not going to work. Hmm... So I guess they'd need a course on novel structure and such.
     
  19. JadeX

    JadeX Senior Member

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    I've tried, but he doesn't really like reading. I've written about 5 chapters of my novel so far, and he stopped after 2. It's a horse-to-water scenario. Reading just isn't his thing. (That's okay though, I have a friend that reads my stuff and gives feedback. Sure would be nice if my SO would, though...)

    I have written a short story which he read, though. It was my first attempt at the horror genre, which is his favorite, and he wasn't shy at all about being blunt and telling me it sucked and that I should stick with what I've been doing - which I'm glad for, because A) it means he won't lie just to make me feel good, he'll give me his real honest opinions and I appreciate that, and B) it quickly deflated any delusions I may have had of becoming the next HP Lovecraft, and instead forced me to give more thought to my novel and return to working on it after I'd almost given up on it.
     
  20. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    I don't really have an S.O. at the moment, but I generally don't get them to read my work. If they really want to read it, I will oblige, but I'll usually give them a later revision. Getting people involved while I'm actually writing a first draft kind of kills my workflow. If I'm in a new relationship, though, I try to hold off on them reading anything just because most people tend to assume that what I write is an accurate reflection of who I am and it can put some weird expectation in a relationship when you write piece work. It's usually best to wait until someone actually decently knows me before introducing them to that sort of stuff.
     
  21. Abishai1000

    Abishai1000 Member

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    I personally appreciate sentiment-driven advice, but I tend to avoid personality-biased advice...does that make sense?
     
  22. Stormsong07

    Stormsong07 Contributor Contributor

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    Nope. Don't think he wants to read it, unless it's done. I have bounced some ideas off him, he doesn't mind doing that. Like, "Hey, here's a quick outline of this story arc, would this action make sense next? Or something else?"
    But asking him to sit down and read it and offer constructive criticism? Nah. He wouldn't want to, I'd get irritated bc he'd take forever, then be like, "Oh, I liked it". So I'll just avoid that entirely.

    My sister, though? She and I read the same stuff growing up. We still recommend books to each other. She's got my draft as I'm writing it and is offering constructive criticism that is actually helpful. I just understand to be patient as she has her own life too and she'll get to it when she can.
     
  23. RMBROWN

    RMBROWN Senior Member

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    I wrote a story for the local newspaper a few months ago about racing in the rain. "I race motorcycles on a road racing course" In the story I talk about over coming the fear of going a 150 mph on a rain covered track. I did crash out that weekend in the Light Weight Superbike, but had one of the most successful weekends in a long time with 3 first place wins, in other races. However I have a policy of never telling my wife when I do crash, "it has been close to 50 times in 30 years" I never did tell my wife about crashing that weekend and the local paper ran the story I wrote. Most of the time she doesn't read my stuff, this time however she was in bed with her I Pad looking at the online version of paper, when she saw that it ran one of my stories. Seeing that it was about motorcycles she just said, "I'll read it later." She never did and I'm thankful I did have to explain my way out it.
     
  24. archer88i

    archer88i Banned Contributor

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    @RMBROWN Rain is scary shit! I recently took a rider safety course (...well, like a year ago, I guess?) and the second day it was just pouring rain the entire damn time. One of our practicals was that we had to do a quick stop. In the rain. Well, I never managed to stop quick enough for a perfect score--couldn't bring myself to squeeze the damn brake that hard.

    My car gets bullshit traction in the rain. I actually switched tires because the previous ones basically transformed into skis on wet asphalt. I have been astonished at how well a motorcycle grips the road when it's wet, but it's still hard to let go of that sense that I'm going to just suddenly slide sideways into a gutter and die.

    Since I'm posting, I guess I'll drop my two cents: most of the people I know are never permitted to see anything I work on. I don't want their expectations (or, rather, my perception of their expectations) to influence what I write. A preexisting relationship with a reader is usually too important to risk over whatever it is I scribble.
     
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  25. RMBROWN

    RMBROWN Senior Member

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    If you like I will pm you the story, it goes into some details has to how the tires work and the technique involved in riding in the rain. The motorcycle has only two credit cards size contact strips that touch the ground so there is a lot involved. The tires ability to wick water away is key which is why some tires work better than others. The other is rider confidence in what you can do, for me along with most other racers this is the biggest thing to over come. What kind of bike do you ride?

    You have a very different perspective on sharing your work than I do. I would say 90 percent of what I write involves people and things I come in contact every day or topics that everyone can personally relate to so sharing it seems only natural. I also go with the theory that if one person truly enjoys what write, and I like them personally, it is more valuable to me than a 100 strangers saying the liked it. I have often written stories for just on person because I thought they would enjoy it. I kind of like making a hero out of everyday people. who doesn't want be the star of the show or be the night in shining armor as the main character in a friends story.
     

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