Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by tbeverley, Jun 27, 2009.
How many people feel lonely?
I am often alone.
I am rarely lonely.
I'm never alone, and I'm always lonely.
I was lonely when I was in a bad marriage. I didn't realize just how lonely until I was out of it.
I live alone nowadays, but am nearly never lonely.
You know what's strange?
I am often alone and am not very lonely, but the minute I head out to a major gathering and feel out of place, I am always, always lonely.
But thanks. Reminding me that I am alone has made me a little lonely this evening. At this very moment, I'm feeling a little lonely; I wish that the three people I love who are downstairs would like to spend time with me, ever. That makes me lonely. So here I sit.
EDIT: Perhaps ironically, this is my 1000th post!
Externally never lonely, internally lonely perhaps.
I suppose that interactions with people continually leave me feeling different from them. Feeling different is like being in an entirely different universe, alone. Thus, loneliness. Further, knowing that the loneliness has no means of alleviation. Permanent alienation. That's likely why, like those who've posted in response, I never feel lonely when I'm alone.
I grew up constantly surrounded by people, so now when I find myself alone at home, it feels weird, but I wouldn't say that it makes me lonely. Just...surprised to find myself without company.
I do get lonely, though, when Joel gets too wrapped up in other pursuits (coughmafiawarscough) and starts ignoring me. I don't like it when that happens.
Always alone, never really lonely. It's being around people that's more uncomfortable for me.
I'm always lonely.
I'm always alone too.
I'm alone and lonely.
I don't like being alone, but it ends up that way.
I like talking to people, but there is rarely people here.
Well, I hurt my hands working out so...
Just kidding! I like being alone. I rarely get lonely but when I do I just like to drink and watch either a depressing or hysterically funny movie. Mainly I drink to deal. Probably not the best course of action but everyone's got vices.
I went shopping yesterday evening. Because of the extreme cheapness, I ended up unintentionally buying a whole chicken, potatoes, veg, and a bottle of sparkling wine. I often look at what other people are buying, and invent a story around the contents of their trolley. I then looked down at mine, and saw a romantic dinner for two.
I came home to an empty flat, and realised there was no-one I could invite round for dinner. I sat watching television for a while, then mucked about on character development for my novel. By then it was dark, and I went to my window to shut the curtain.
I live in a tenement building, and across the road, I have an excellent view into other people's windows. The first floor doctors were sitting in, eating pizza and throwing around a ball of some description. There may have been beer involved. The second floor girls were having a party. There was the distant beat of music, and folks, all irritatingly attractive, floated between the livingroom and kitchen windows, holding wine, chatting, laughing and generally having a great time.
I looked back into my pokey flat where silence rang out loud like a bell, my empty, unmade bed, my door that no-one had knocked on for a very long time, and I felt sad and lonely.
Of course, this morning, I've had the last laugh- I've just seen one of the second floor girls stagger to the sink, pour a glass of water, take a sip, and then vomit. I, on the other hand, am bright as a button.
But I'd swap places any day.
Define lonely? Do you mean like.. When you feel there are no one in this universe capable of understanding your genius, then yes all the time... just kidding. I feel like loneliness is perhaps an undertone that lies under the feelings I feel at any given time, and it tends to become more noticeable throughout the evening. Although I want to deny that it's there and even though I feel there is no reason at times it's still there, and I just tolerate it I guess.
Would you? I know some people who sound somewhat like the "party people" you described. Although they strive their ass off to appear happy I have no faith in them actually being happy, call it an educated guess. Some of them will be, some of them will not, the world is not black and white enough for all of them to like the circle of life they find themselves stuck in.
Ugh, I wouldn't. I spent years being one of those "pretty" girls at the party with the glass of wine who ended up puking my guts up the next day. Trust me when I say I had no real friends during that time. Drinking buddies are not friends. When I reached the peak of my alcoholism and got help (been sober going on two years now, minus a short relapse), it was amazing how all those wonderful friends of mine vanished. Please don't envy girls like that, I wouldn't be surprised if most of them are more lonely than you.
Edit- haha ragnar, you posted at the same time as me and said basically the same thing.
I'm glad you managed to "escape" and find some real friends I was out drinking with some friends from school the other day, for the first time ever I might add, and I noticed how little I actually have in common with what they will admit to at least. Most of them are probably more similar to people they "steer clear" from than they want to admit. Anyway..
It's the company. It's the feel of human contact, the touch of a hand on your skin, the flash of a smile to reassure you that you are still alive. That's what I'd take.
God that's sad. I really need to get out this flat and soon. Thankfully I'm going to start my new placement on Monday, so I'll be going to a world where I am no-one but everyone else's comfort, where I must forget myself and focus on others. It's strangely fun, stepping out of your own skin and being percieved as someone else. Like having multiple personalities. There's the lonely and sad writer Chase Roberts, and then there's the friendly and kind Student Nurse Roberts, always with a smile on my face. And I do.
Last placement, one of the staff nurses stopped me half way through a particularly trying shift (we had been struck by the norovirus and there were body fluids EVERYWHERE). She turned and looked at me, and said "Are you always this enthusiastic?"
Knowing myself like I do, I instantly responsed "Are you being sarcastic?"
She seemed surprised by this defensive response. "No, I mean it. Are you on something? Can we can your energy and give it to the other staff members?"
I remember being very miffed: I was feeling rubbish that day, and glum, and still I was bouncing about with an energy and enthusiasm which was the envy of everyone else.
Clearly, I love what I do.
My initial post in this thread was rather trite. My apologies.
I have been lonely in the past. The relationship that sent me packing all my goodies and expatriating the continental U.S had me painfully alone. Strange how loneliness so rarely has to do with being alone. Rather a poor choice of root word when that particular feeling was given a name and put to paper, aye?
My new found family here in Puerto Rico is large and loud and boisterous and sometimes overwhelming. My boyfriend is very much a good example of his family. I’m rather a quiet fellah in comparison and sometimes I find the whole family thing a bit overpowering and usually find myself chatting with a fellah named Nelson who is the husband of William’s cousin Lilly. He’s a bit like a shelter in a storm of conversation. He’s very quiet and very into techie things (he was the one who saved my ‘puter when it took a dump) and he likes Science Fiction (unheard of in Puerto Rico) so we have things to talk about. The poor guy is also morbidly obese, and I think at first his wife thought I was acting out of charity when I started chatting with him. Nothing could have been further from the case. I simply gravitated to the quietest person in the room and then fell past the event horizon when I noticed that the book in his hand was Arthor C. Clark’s A Fall of Moondust! In English, no less.
Both his Lilly and my William joke that Nelson and I are having a secret affair.
Off topic, but I truly enjoyed that book. It's very dated, written before we actually visited the moon, but it contains elements made popular in disaster movies a couple decades afterwards.
I've never known anyone else who has mentioned having read it.
Does anyone think that the way modern culture is today might play a large role in loneliness? I've always thought so, but I'm looking to be proved wrong.
The way everyone is so focused on what they've got to do next, there are no family meals --and if there are, they're microwave meals in front of the television-- anymore and with the invention of the Internet (I more or less said this on Wrey's TC thread), it seems like people cut off others from their lives and are social via technology, which does leave you lonely.
I'm never really lonely, even though I am so isolated and separated from the real world on an almost constant basis. I really enjoy company and talking to people and I do it every chance I get that looks promising, but somehow...I don't ever feel lonely, not too much at least. I'm fine with being alone; how could I not be, living where I do? I have my alone time and I have my socialization.
I spent two and a half years without friends. I was lonely at first, but within a couple months I got over it by telling myself that it was simply not a card I had been dealt.
Now I have friends, but I am still a pretty introvert person. I like spending time alone. I don't feel lonely, though. I haven't felt lonely since that day I told myself I wasn't going to be.
It's hard to say. Sometimes I wish I could have a few moments alone, and sometimes I wish there were more things to do with more people. I guess I switch. Be my friend...?
I think writers, by the very nature of their work, thrive on aloneness and introspection, and may tend to feel lonely when in company and away from their preferred work environment.
There are the times when I remain completely alone and I feel perfect. There was this entire Saturday when neither my parents, nor my sister were at home. Until the next day, it was my very private paradise. I didn't leave home that day, even though I could arrange to go out with somebody.
That day, I felt better than sometimes when despite the people around me, I still feel alone.
And I don't dare say I'm a writer yet... Too early to claim such a title.
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