Love story between a regular kid and a rock star, needing to not be too lame, please.

But see, I think for the story to work, he’s going to have to take down his wall of charm and charisma and show his vulnerable side to the girl. I don’t think people will forgive him for being charismatic, because once they know he was lying he’s no longer charismatic, he’s just fake.

 

You two are just fantastic for talking this out for me, lol!

I agree. He needs to be charming and charismatic but I need to work in that as time goes on, he really starts to feel for her and wants to tell her, but she keeps saying the wrong things at inopportune times that lead him to keep it to himself. And then maybe when she does find out and everything goes to hell in a handbasket, he is genuinely hurt. He does everything he can do to win her back. And I have to write it soooo real.

Or maybe even let everyone else get mad at him when the climax hits, too. And then he can win both her and the reader back with what he does to make it up to her!

 

I'm still struggling with that as a reason for such a long-term, high-effort lie. I'd find it more believable if, for example, the girl somehow clashed with his image and he was hiding her in order to maintain that image - in other words, if he were more or less ashamed of her, so that even if she knows who he is, he denies the relationship and expects her to deny it as well. I realize that that's a darker situation and makes him much less likable, but I would be likely to find it more convincing.

ChickenFreak

 

When it comes to the long-term possibilities for this story, that actually is my plan. I might give up after the first novella. I've got plans that as his fame grows here, his manager asks him to keep her on the down low since they really want to get the attention of the teenage crowd, who prefer to think that their singers are single and available. And he's the kind of monkey who will do whatever they tell him to do.