Mental Health (Depression & Guilt)

Dr. David D. Burns

I cannot speak enough about the power behind this man's research. We used his workbooks in clinical practice, more specifically the psychologists did. The workbook 10 days to self-esteem was groundbreaking for a lot of the patients that were seen in the office. The book explores the linkages between our thought patterns and depression. Guilt and self doubt play a large role in these things.

I am so very fortunate, that I have never suffered from anything but situational depression on a long term basis. My mother, however, had bi-polar disorder with a side helping of clinical depression. In the ted talk below, Dr. Burns talks about how this sort of suffering is probably the worst of all human suffering and seeing my Mom's example and the fight to even want to remain alive until her death at 42 makes me feel that pain so keenly on behalf of those still living it.

I hope these things help you with your research.



As a small aside, he also has the book entitled Feeling Good Together: The Secret To Making Troubled Relationships Work which is also brilliant. It discusses some of the communication errors we make, and how our thinking can drive these errors.

 

Ah, I always thought complex meant from multiple experiences (like a long term abuse). It's interesting you describe yourself as avoidant because I've always put myself in the schizoid personality disorder camp (my dissociative tendencies aid in that idea). Although I just recently accepted I don't like people because of distrust, instead of disinterest...although at this point, it's hard to tell them apart. I'm definitely a freezer as well.

 

You might be right—I have that hippocampus issue that causes poor memory, so even if I learned some things right I can get them wrong later and then always 'remember' them that way. I also never considered schizoid personality disorder. Should look into it. My own understanding of all this stuff is totally piecemeal, and there's a good chance I'm wrong about much of it.

 

The brain is a powerful thing. If it senses danger it can close you down. I know people who suffer like this. It can be debilitating.

 

The full lock-ups have happened very rarely to me, thankfully. Maybe only 3 or 4 times, and it's been years since it happened last.

Though I think it's also what causes me to get 'flabbergasted' sometimes and find it hard to think right, though without freezing up. I can also get very embarrassed sometimes and that's debilitating. I think they're all related. It all seems to be shame-based. I can easily get embarrassed if I mess something up in public and imagine everyone is laughing or being hyper-critical, and that nearly shuts me down. It can make it really hard to learn a new job, especially one where you're doing your work right in the public eye, or if your co-workers like to ridicule and mock those who are vulnerable. It's like a partial shut-down or freeze, mental functions drop to very low functionality but don't drop off all the way. Makes me feel mentally and physically numb for a while, and when it happens (when something triggers an emotional flashback) I remain very sensitive to perceived insults or mockery etc for a few days or longer.

It also causes a definite drop in energy level when it happens. When I'm 'untriggered' I can be jovial, friendly, assertive, etc—active and engaging. But once something triggers a flashback I can become quiet and low-energy. It's a complete change that affects everything about my behavior. When 'up' I'm one of the movers and shakers in conversation, but if I'm 'down' other people tend to ignore me no matter how I try to get their attention, and I get offended or get my feelings hurt easily. I've learned to recognize the symptoms and know that when it happens I need to pretty much just ride it out and not take anything personally.

 

It can work the other way though. Sometimes when you have really been through it, you just don't 'break.' It is possible to be too strong at times, I have seen that in people too. It happened to me a few years back. People were saying things like, 'when you hit the bottom - the only way is up.' My realisation was that the bottom did not exist and that is not a good place to be. You just have to reach your hand out and grab onto something, anything and then crawl right back up. Anyhow those were extenuating circumstances and I hope not to see days like those again. I am right as rain now and I get to draw on those experiences. That is how I found writing.

 

Richach, do you know what your 'condition' is, what it's called? If you don't mind talking about it that is.

 

I think it was a series of things that happened all at once. A whole lifetime of an easy ride and then bingo, bango, bongo, what was happening to other people was happening to me. We all get affected by life one way or another and at some point in our lives. We have to make the best of it while we can.