Strangely enough I don't really have any emotions when I write. This is not to say that I am entirely indifferent to life around me, I just do not personally have to be afflicted by the emotion to be able to convey it. I've always believed writing is something extremely personal and something which should be natural. To me it is an psychological event where you release every single bit of inspiration and love through your fingers. So instead of becoming depressed or exceedingly happy (for no apparent reason mind you) I sit alone in a quiet room with my eyes closed and I write. My friends always joke that I look like I'm meditating or that I'm just asleep. In truth I'm probably more awake then they are. If nothing else I always refer back to Bruce Lee (of course) and what he said: Be fluid, like water.
Purple, I understand completely what you are saying, and do agree that emotional states are very influential on writing. It is much like acting as well. For example, the death of Heath Ledger. Supposedly, he had put himself in such a mental, depressed, agonized state while playing The Joker, that he had to be on meds after the shooting of the film. This is considered one of the methods of acting, getting so into the character that you almost become that character, feeling each emotion that that character would feel, thinking thoughts that character would think, it makes you almost as if you had a split personality, that you take on another personality. I've been trained in that method of acting. It is very, very emotionally taxing. It did help me though with writing. The problem is I don't like to do it too often because it can lead to some serious life consequences. Some people think of acting as pretending, which in a way it is, but when using the method of becoming the character it can take on a life of it's own. I remember during one of my monologues in acting class, I spent three weeks memorizing and practicing this very angry character. I actually become very angry in reality. My tempter was quick, and my husband said it was worse than my PMS! When I write, I tend to only get into my MC's head. I don't usually focus as much on the surrounding characters, or stock characters, but feeling what my MC feels can be just as emotionally straining as it was in acting. In one work I am doing right now, my MC is terrified due to many scary things happening. All I have to do is sit in a dark room to feel what she's feeling, or go out for a walk around the house in the dark to get my adrenaline pumping. Sometimes I just sit and meditate to get into my character's head, but much of it is basically the same techniques taught in the Meisner type of acting. When trying to take on someone else's emotional state you have to know why they feel it. Why a person is depressed. What thoughts might be going through their head to cause their depressed emotional state. All of our emotions start with a thought. It can be one that lasts for all of a 1/4 of a second, but there is always a thought no matter how small to start the chemical reaction that causes us to "feel." You don't have to be depressed yourself, but you have to get into your character's head as to why they are depressed. It could be a bad childhood, low self-esteem, or other situational types of things causing it. Try to think thoughts that would be associated with those circumstances as your character might think them. Write it out as a stream of consciousness if that would help you, or voice record yourself saying those repetitive types of thoughts. Depression is also a very self-centered state of being. All thoughts revolve around the MC. How things are not going their way. How life isn't fair. How they can't handle whatever is being thrown at them. How it's not the life they would have chosen. How they have no control over their life or themselves. How everyone is judging them. And on and on...I know, I've been there, as have plenty of people. But to write it effectively you have to recreate the emotion, but don't let it stick inside of you, otherwise you might fall prey to it.
I have to agree with Bluebell here. Whilst i'm not a total stranger to the topic i know exactly what you're getting at. For me it was more of a i need to write when i'm depressed or unhappy or not particularly pleased with what's happening. I have found though that in the end my worst or most pointless writing came when i was in that state. I guess judging from the responses here that it's a different story for everyone. Although i also try to get an emotional sense of what i'm writing through music. If i'm writing a fast action scene, maybe something upbeat and adrenaline pumping, the same applies for a sad scene or a romantic scene. Bluebell's advice is something which sounds like it should work. I'm not an actor so im not so well versed in acting techniques but i have had one character, Tom, who kinda took over in the sense that everything i was doing in reality had a connection with him. Eventually though i moved on from that story and when someone mentioned the name Tom i kinda had a nostalgic moment, like one you would have when you're suddenly reminded about someone you forgot. I've always wanted to have this for all my characters but i kinda fear having one or more Tom's hanging around. Scares me quite a bit.
I usually get back into the emotional state by reading what I wrote previously and then continue the stream of words on the page once it ends. Sometimes, though, I get too carried away by it, so I always go back and edit things when my head is more level -- balance it out a bit so it doesn't become sentimental drivel. I think my best writing is that which has been molded and remolded by all my emotional states, so it reaches a kind of balance between them.
My suggestion is to find a peaceful place where you would not be disturbed, and bring yourself back to the past, where it all began (the story). It's the experience, Purple. As I've told other people before, no matter how you sympathise or empathise with someone, you cannot feel the exact thing he feels, because you're not in his shoes. You did not go through the things he went through. You don't think the way he does. So no matter what he tells you about the current situation, you cannot fully understand his feelings. Just like how people from different backgrounds may experience friction, similarly as long as A is not B, and B is not A, no matter what equation you use, the outcome can never be the same (of course, considering it's a non-zero inducing equation). What I mean is that, the you now, and the you from the past, are two different people. I'm talking about this in terms of experience, but even your perception can change within a short period of time. So, you need to return to the past, evoke the emotions from the past, mainly the most depressing part, to remember the feeling, and perhaps get the inspiration to write. Warning though, this can take awhile. This last paragraph is regarding my experience with returning to the past, though I may have fabricated it, I don't know (I have short-term memory). By bringing up things from the past that saddens me, I can feel the same emotions and cry every time. Then I fall asleep. The pattern repeats every time. I have done this for more than 5 times. But that's just me. Though, if you're up to it, you can try. GL. "Shoot for the sun. If you fall, you'll land on the stars."
My two cents are: I cannot write anything worth anything when I am in an emotional high or low. Later, when I go to review such writing, my emotional agitation comes through more than what I was trying to write.
When I write, I'm as cool as a cucumber. I think about each story element carefully and write it to have maximum impact on the reader.
Its a little different for me, usually when I'm depressed I can't write at all. When I'm happy I enjoy writing and then I can't stop! Ever try to recall your feelings at all? I find that easy to do when I don't feel like that. I wouldn't recommend you try to make yourself depressed just to write a particular scene. I don't like to relive the pain, so I don't try to make myself feel that way. Writing it down though is a far healthier way to deal with it.
Thanks for some of the advice - i'll clarify. I'm trying to write a Vampire story. It's based on european lores, but a fair few other legends do get in there too. My writing style is decidedly dark, but I can't seem to manage to keep it as consistantly as I could whilst depressed. My writing is far less dark than I would wish it to be.
So, Purple, you're trying to write a depressed vampire story. Well establishing why your vampire is depressed, dark and brooding will help you. Does he hate the fact that he is vampire? Does he still sympathize with his human victims? Is he emo? The answers to those questions will give you the reasons as to why he is dark, depressed, and brooding. Granted, dark, depressed, brooding vampires seem to be a dime a dozen these days, you may have a character that differs from other characters out there. He/she is in conflict with their inner dark desires and their humanity (their desire not to harm innocent people.) You could always write a vampire who is part Lestat and part Dexter (from the book series and TV show.) The desire to take human life is there, but the desire to preserve innocent people and only kill those who are wrong doers. Or you could explore the feelings the MC vampire feels in taking an innocent life as opposed to the life of a person who is a killer/rapist/ect. There are a lot of things you could do with a dark, brooding vampire type that doesn't require that you be dark and brooding too, though getting into the mindset of one who is dark and brooding isn't all that hard as long as you know why. Regardless of how you get into the mindset, what will matter is your writing quality.
Personally, I'd rather write in a more lucid state of mind. I'm not the type of writer who pounds words on the page, clocking in at one-thousand words an hour, and turning around to revise it about ten times. I'd rather go slow, walk away, and come back for revision a few days later.
I do exactly the same thing. When I'm focused, I usually write with my eyes closed. I don't often feel emotional when I'm writing, and when I do, I calm myself. I need to be clear-headed to accurately portray each of the very different characters who make up my stories. The emotional approach probably lends itself better to first person writing, which I've never bothered to try.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this issue. I was put on antidepressants years ago due to some major health issues. As you know they manipulate brain chemicals. The one I'm on (weening off of) is a SNRI (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) Which means it affects both serotonin and norepinephrine. I've heard serotonin is involved in creativity. I used to have an average output in writing of 2-5 pages day. Since being on antidepressants I struggle to get 5 pages every couple or three weeks. So here is my question, am I the only who experienced a severe decrease in creativity once on antidepressants? And does anyone know if there's any merit to this or is it just coincidental?
Well, I know from experience that depression causes a severe decrease in just about everything that you normally do, especially creativity. I've never taken antidepressants due to my aversion to any sort of psychiatric meds, though, so I can't say what effect they might have. I wonder if it is more the meds, or the depression, that is causing the problem. It may even be a combination of both. But it's likely that the depression itself is playing a large part. Regardless of what you determine to be the problem, I strongly urge you to keep your health above your writing on your list of priorities. After all, you can't write when you're dead (bones can't grip the pen)
Is it the antidepressants or the underlying depression (if that's why you're on them) that is robbing you of your creativity? I know that true clinical depresion can create a very "grey" world, and strip you of any real enthusiasm for anything, including, I would presume, your writing, as well as compromising your ability to focus sufficiently due to the general "haze" in your mind. I don't have the expertise to answer your question, but I wish you well, both with your health issues and with your writing.
I have an easy self test to check if I'm ok to write: I play some quick games of go vs an AI in a 9x9 board. After four or five games (one or two minutes) I know if I'm in full possession of my mental abilities or if I should go find other, less intellectually demanding, occupations. I've never taken anti-depressants, but I'm pretty sure I could evaluate their effect on my mind in much the same way.
I don't know about Antidepressants, but I'm bipolar, and some of my best writing was done when depressed.
I was on Lexapro for a few months in college, and I found it totally killed my ability to write, mostly due to the distance I felt from my emotions while on it. However, crippling depression also killed my ability to write, so I think depending on what you're taking the meds for, there can be a balance struck.
The first outpouring of creativity I ever felt in my life was when I was first put on antidepressants. Now that I'm off them, the only times I don't feel creative is when I can feel the depression trying to suck me back in. I didn't have the fun, Edgar Alan Poe-type depression, though; for me everything was just kinda flat and gray and I was totally apathetic toward everything. Spent most of my time just curled up on the couch alone in my apartment not looking at anything or doing anything. Sounds like you've got the other kind, unless you're bipolar, which is the other mental illness which has fueled many a creative career.
Thanks for all the replies guys. To answer your questions. It was for anxiety and pain (cymbalta helps nerve pain) I had a massive benign spinal cord tumor that nearly crippled me. The doctor and I both agreed that the side affects were not worth taking the medication any more and that I didn't need it now that the tumor was taken care of. I'm am not by nature an overly anxious person. I'm generally pretty happy unless I'm in an extremely stressful situation like the one I was in prior to all the treatment. I'm pretty sure it's a result of the antidepressant because: I was more productive before I was on it and the pain I was in was enough to drive most people insane and it nearly did that to me. I had pain so bad (nearly three years) that I cried in my sleep, took up to five scalding hot showers a day, and had to put bags of ice on my back. I later learned nerve pain is best treated with sensory distraction, but that is beside the point. The point is I was in all this pain and basically reduced to agoraphobia because I was so anxious and still wrote more than I do now. I had doctors telling me and my parents I was lying, being an "overly dramatic teenage girl" (15 at the time), or that nothing was wrong with me. And yet I still wrote significantly more. I wasn't being treated in any way for the pain at that time. I was taking as much advil and tylenol as I could without killing myself. I was extremely depressed after my first surgery obviously that is circumstantial. I then had another surgery the next year and radiation later that year. It's been three years since the first one, two years since the second one, one year since radiation, and also one year stable (!!!) It wasn't so much feeling depressed as feeling nothing that made me want to get off of it. I had to really work to feel anything and to put on a show like I felt a lot more than I did about anything. When all these things were things that should have had a big effect on me emotional (good or bad). I felt like there was a haze between me and all of my feelings. It's called depersonalization. Which cymbalta is notorious for though the company that makes it would rather you not know that. It's been months trying to get off of it. There are a lot of nasty side affects that come with withdrawal. It turned out the doctor told me the wrong way to get off it and I was basically swinging my brain chemistry all over the place. I met another woman who had gotten off antidepressants and told me about a book a doctor who had dealt extensively with it had written. So now I'm going about it the right way and things are going smoother. Problem is withdrawal is accumulative. So I keep having stuff flare up now and then such as- affected cognitive abilities, fatigue, mood swings, bloating, hormonal issues, etc. The doctor said this is normal and that it means I went about the wrong way getting off this for a very long time and it'll take time to straighten out. :/ I apologize if I made no sense in parts. I'm extremely tired right now.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/10154775.stm "Creativity is known to be associated with an increased risk of depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.Similarly, people who have mental illness in their family have a higher chance of being creative."
So I suppose this means that the antidepressants are a likely cause? Since they are inhibiting my mind's usual processes? Also there is sporadic depression/anxiety in my family. I do have one great aunt that is clinically insane. lol
Terra, I was on ADHD meds for a few years but I found it so inhibited my ability to write that I just junked the meds. I'm a much happier camper for it now and I found that, after getting off the meds, I could finally write again.
Glad to hear it. Yeah I'm thinking things will get better when I'm totally off this s***. I know I needed it at the time but it's been hell on earth to try to get off of it.
