Sadly I have no idea when it will be. I've greatly reduced the dosage so I'm hopeful it will be getting better before too much longer.
The earlier the better I always say And I'd reckon just start back writing short stories, then gradually build back up to your normal levels.
For some reason I completely suck at short stories. I can't ever condense something that much. I guess I'm too verbose.
Not all antidepressants cause the same reaction in a person. Had you been on a different antidepressant, you might not have noticed any difference in your usual creativity level.
The medication you are describing sounds like something that would be used to treat mental illnesses such as Bipolar and Schizophrenia. People with Bipolar tend to suffer from episodes of mania -a common symptom of mania is the uncontrollable urge to engage in a creative activity, such as writing. Schizophrenic individuals on the other hand (by the way I use 'schizophrenic' very vaguely, there's a very wide spread spectrum of schizophrenia and schizophrenia related disorders), may experience rapid, fleeting thoughts, hallucinations, delusions and grandiose visions, which are.. I would presume.. contributors to a very rich imagination and source of creativity. In your case, my guess would be that when you were put on the medication these 'creative episodes' may have stopped occurring, because the medication is designed to settle and stablize your neural activity.. so basically the 'sources' of your creativity we cut off by the medications collective effect over time. Although so, this is just an opinion, and it's important to recognize that everyone's reaction to antidepressants/anti psychotics/neuro-salts, are different.
Thanks for your replies Eoz and Marina. Marina, that is true because I was on lexapro first for anxiety and it didn't really do anything like that to me. It just leveled me. Part of the problem was that there was a major war going on in my body and I didn't know it. (along with major family issues) I was aware on some weird subconscious level for years. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what, then the pain started, hence the extreme anxiety. Then they put me on cymbalta because it helps with nerve pain. Now that the circumstance that caused all my anxiety is through with my doctor and I both agreed I should get off of it. Eoz, it's interesting you say that. Someone just posted an article on this thread about how the brains of people who are very creative work in a similar manner to those with mental illness. It also said creative people tend to think differently and their brains operate in a different way than the norm. Also that people who have depression or mental illness in their family are more likely to be creative. Which I find absolutely fascinating because my dad has depression, I have a great aunt who is mentally ill, and my grandma (paternal) suffers from anxiety. My doctor says I don't have a chemical imbalance so it's okay for me to get off of the medication. That it was a circumstantial thing. Also while I sometimes get very strong urges to write or make art it's not ever uncontrollable. It makes sense to reason that the antidepressant has dulled that by possibly diverting the natural pathways of how my brain worked.
HAhahahaha! I know just what you mean! As many of my posts here can attest, I don't write short, either. I think the closest I came to a short story was 47 pages and 6,541 words! Nope. Don't do shorts. But I keep trying because I love the challenge. It's great exercise for the brain.
lol LEMEX YOU RUINED MY TRACK RECORD!!! D: hahaha Now I'll have to say my posts are short stories rather than novels.
Okay, so you were put on this medication because you were experiencing general anxiety from this nerve pain? Well, that makes sense then, being that serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake would've helped calm your cognition and physical bodily functions down to prevent you from feeling anxious. Although, I find the thing with antidepressant medication is that it tends to 'dull' the edge of the knife. I had panic disorder (I say had, because I've recovered from it and am now, like you, in the process of being taken off the medication), of course panic and anxiety are different, however I did feel anxious all the time. I was a very creative person during that time, and when I first begun on the medication, it seemed to dull my feelings and I was no longer able to reach that 'threshold' where I'd begin to have a panic attack. Of course this was good, the medication did what it said it would, but for a couple of months whilst I was adjusting to it, I found it difficult to be creative. I think for me, and this may be similar for you, the source of my creativity, which were my heightened emotions, was taken away as a side effect of the medication. Luckily for me however, I was able to find another 'source' of creativity; I found that after adjusting to my medication, my thoughts became a lot clearer and it was easier for me to focus and think. This clarity actually really helped improve my writing. If you ever read my writing I've done from 2008-09 and compare it to my most recent writing, '10, you'll find the styles to be very different.
Yes. It went beyond general anxiety though I was having panic attacks a lot and was basically reduced to agoraphobia. The pain was so bad. Every doctor I've ever met asks me how I endured it. :/ Maybe that's it. I'm not sure though. It probably is though. I've always been a very emotional person and being on cymbalta really drastically changed that. I haven't felt like myself in a very long time. Which is why I'm getting off of it. Plus the doctor said I'm good to because I've learned coping skills and the cause of the anxiety is no longer there. I feel pretty out of touch with my emotions. I have for a long time. They are starting to come back though.
I just wanted to say good luck with everything, I too know from experience the difficulty there is with balancing mental health issues, and the possibility of compromising your cognitive faculties... It's reassuring in a way to know that other people go through the same
Well most SSRI's are going to have a sort of "mood blunting" effect, and I believe this extends to SNRI's because of the serotonergics effects of both drugs. However, the norepineprine I can't quite comment on. Human's understanding of brain chemistry is still far to limited to make a "if you do X then Y will occur" statement. The brain is too complex and depression can stem from multiple causes with many different factors. What happens to some may not happen to you.
I was on antidepressants for 6 months, and I found coming off them hellish as well. I would however take them again if I had to, as they allowed me to realise that I really wanted to be a doctor, and have begun applications to do so. Without the antidepressants, I wouldn't have done this. The interesting thing with antidepressants is that for mild or moderate depression they do very little, but for severe depression they work wonders. It always amazes me how many doctors advise people incorrectly about going on/coming off antidepressants, it is so important to do it correctly. In terms of creativity, I always find my work when I'm depressed to be very flat and self-indulgent. I have done some good work when I was depressed, but like I said, it was incredibly self-indulgent. When I'm not depressed, my work has more layers and is better thought out. I'm sorry for all the problems you've experienced the past few years, I hope things start looking up for you soon.
I've had some pretty heavy anti-depressants and I haven't wrote a single letter in the 8 months I was taking them. Ofcourse, you can't say it's because of the anti-depressants, because the depression as whole might be the problem. For me, I can definatly tell it was the medication that stopped my flow. I've had a chronical depression since my 11th and I never stopped writing. It wasn't untill I also got a clinical depression on top of it and my problems got so severe I was put on medication and intensive therapy, that I quit writing, but again, was this because of the medication or because of how severe my condition was? There's no way of knowing. I threw them away, eventually. 2 months later I was writing nearly fulltime. I also quit my therapy, microsoft word has been a better help than any of the therapies I've been to. But at all times, your health should be more important than your creative flow.. Just remember, everything you're going trough is just another thing to write about some day. Best of luck! If you need anyone to talk about, PM me. Whenever you want.
Thanks for all the replies guys. It means a lot. First off for those of you saying to put my health first, my doctor said I was okay to get off them. I was on them for circumstantial reasons. I don't have a chemical imbalance. I was on it for anxiety and pain. Cymbalta helps with nerve pain. I've been more depressed on cymbalta than I think I've ever been off of it. I don't generally get depressed unless there are extraordinary life circumstances going on. On the whole I'm pretty happy or just dreamy acting. I get lost in though frequently. Not depressive though. Basically the doctor and I both agreed I was ready to come off it. I agree that there's no way for sure to know how something will affect anyone. Everyone's chemistry is different. I happen to have a very sensitive system. Any kind of disruption and it goes bonkers. Morphine was making me trip out in the hospital. Not in a fun way. To the point of where I was convinced I was going to die and the doctor said I was "allergic" to it. I am certain that this has to do with cymbalta and not me because it started right when I got on it. I've been feeling more creative since I've started to come off of it. It's slow and still slightly out of reach but it's getting closer. Also it went far beyond just "blunting" my moods. I pretty much had no emotion for several months which was really awful because I felt horrid that I had to work up feelings for anything. I knew it wasn't like me plus it was making me feel depressed. Which is not uncommon if you are on antidepressants for a long time. It just wasn't me. I'm not by nature depressed and am highly emotive. So it was out of character. Hence me getting off of it.
I have a few medications that cause me to be very on edge, along with having anxiety problems, and lately I've found it hard to sit down and actually write anything. When I do, what usually comes out usually doesn't interest me at all later in the week. I would really like to learn how to help myself focus more and be able to write more than 2,000 words in one sitting without distracting myself. I have a friend with ADHD who has similar problems, and I would really appreciate any tips from anyone who experiences similar things.
I was diagnosed with AADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder) many years ago. While it may seem strange, I use something to concentrate against - for example, I usually have the TV on while I write. It becomes like white noise, and yet it allows me that momentary distraction - which then allows me to straighten up and get back to work. I can't use music, because I start concentrating more on the rhythm than on my writing. And having the "quiet, no distraction" place to write - forget it. My mind will go in a zillion different directions - none of them called 'writing'.
From one ADD to another...it's a gift as much as a curse, so make it work for YOU. Find a time of day that is right for you (for me it's either 9 AM or 7 PM...who knows why) and a location and stick to a pattern. I find reading my text out loud as I write, or just after I have written something really helps me concentrate. Also be SURE to have someone else read your work over or reread many many times as a reader with a critical eye, not a writer. My mind goes so fast when I'm writing that I'm always sure I have included details that are clearly not there. Keep writing...having ADD means your mind goes to many creative places...use them!
Diagnosed with severe ADHD at age five, I've carried the label and stigmata my entire life, been told I will never amount to anything. I now have two degrees to the contrary. Medications made me ill, but with music and books I hit my stride. The words came to life. I have countless playlists for different projects and moods, with many of the songs repeating throughout. It sets a pattern, a refrain of sorts, that settles my attention when it begins to wander. I never write in a 'nice quiet corner', either I find a busy hub: the library, campus commons, bookstore, booth at the cafe...the park. Somewhere people are whirling by, oblivious to all but their own agendas; I'm invisible, which is just fine with me. The greater the outside chaos, the greater my own concentration. With my playlist, or more often, a single song, on repeat. My world contracts and I am swallowed up by my bubble. Nothing exists except for my fingers, imagination, and my computer screen. It is an addicting place to be, a writer's high. Because of the ADHD, I think faster and deeper, fingers flying on my keyboard to capture the images in my head. What follows are massive bouts of proofreading and editing. When I proof I read aloud, mostly to Rue. If it doesn't read well, I shred and rewrite, until it does. Reading aloud takes it out of my head and puts it in another perspective. Simon and Garfunkle's The Boxer sums it up nicely: 'People hear what they want to hear and disregard the rest.' With ADHD, I see what I want to see...You get the picture. By reading it aloud, the amorphous becomes tangible, more than mere letters on a screen. Music gives me tenet points, but exercise helps, too. If I hit a snag, I will take a short walk, or stretch, giving my thoughts a brief reprieve. A bit like a swimmer coming up for air. My last defense to release nervous distraction is the huge yoga ball serving as my desk chair. I'm 5'4", my ball was designed for people 5'10" and taller. My feet don't touch the floor, balancing focuses my fidgets, allowing me to focus on my work. But even with all that most days I usually average around 2500 words on a good day. I am usually mentally wrung out by the end of it. - Darkkin
Tip #1: Don't turn the tv or radio on. Excercise (It helps me come up w/ great ideas). Force yourself to finish (realizing you don't have to show it to anyone). Sometimes I surprise myself and come up w/ great stuff I think will be unusable. Tip #2: Ask your doc for Adderall.
I'm not ADHD, but as an autistic person I've found some parallel. What works for me is to set up situations where there's nothing else to do but write. My parents are church-goers, and I'm an atheist, but I often accompany them to church and wait downstairs until the service is over. Down in the church basement, with a pad of papers, is when I do some of my best writing. Also, I carry some 'on the go' stories everywhere, and when I get inspiration I just write it down immediately.
But writing 2000 words is a pretty good achievement. It's great to try harder and focus more, write more, but at the same time, if you have a condition, then you have certain limitations and there're times when it might also be good to be satisfied with what you can achieve within your limitations, and just be proud of yourself for it instead of pushing too hard for me. (note: I don't mean you shouldn't push to improve, but there's pushing and then there's going too far) I'm afraid I have no advice, but I just wanna say - 2000 words really is a lot and you should be proud of yourself
