Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

Geeks are here too, total different skill-set

 

Imma' go ahead and follow you now.

 

JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY AND I WON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, COCKWOMBLE.

La la la la la puppies and kittens and rainbows la la la la here, children, have some sweets!

 

Now, everyone stay calm, put down the weapons and-I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!

 

I feel like I brought this thread back to life >_>

 

Not particularly. Not like cave troll does. (4 months inactive, let's post here!)

 

I made a huge fuck up at work today. Like I always do in these situations, I just want to run away from everything. I owned up, I did everything I could to fix it, I apologised. I can't do anything more, and I know even if people are pissed off it won't last long. My boss is being super understanding, just like he was last time I did something moronic.

There is literally no way this situation can be improved and I'm falling to pieces over it. I'm really teary and have a stress knot in my stomach and I just want a break from life for a bit. To just check into a hotel and do nothing but sleep and eat. If only I had the cash to do that...

 

Are you sure it isn't your anxiety blowing things out of proportion? It might be good to meditate for a bit, or do something you find relaxing. Just to take a step back an reevaluate the situation. I'm sure it's nothing that can't be fixed in time. I mean if it hasn't even cost you your job then it can't be the end of the world.

 

It is my anxiety, that's why I'm posting here. I know that in a week I'll have pretty much forgotten about this, as will everyone else, but getting through this week will be hard. I owned up right away, but my boss isn't in until Friday and I expect we'll have to talk about it. I hate letting him down.

I wish he was in tomorrow so I could get it over with.

 

Did anything bad happen as a result of what you did? Did anybody else get hurt or damaged? That would make it worse, or would make it feel worse.

 

I once accidentally sent a mail merge test which just read "thank you for your purchase" to about 3,500 people. I was inundated with calls and emails from people who thought they were charged for something they didn't purchase, and the CEO of the company who typically would have been none the wiser happened to be at a function with our sales field. So I had a very unhappy CEO, VP of Sales, and COO on my hands. But hey - it was an honest mistake (albiet a stupid one) that could have happened to anyone, and thankfully, there had been much worse mistakes. Most of the sales field laughed it off, so a few days later, after I was finished being mortified, I did too.

Any good boss knows that screwing up isn't the issue ... we will all do that. It's how you handle it when you screw up that matters. You took responsibility, learned from your mistake, and apologized. You're good to go.

 

Certainly Lithium was mentioned but it is my doc's belief that it causes more side effects than other possibilities. I'd be inclined to go with his opinion as he's shown me that... well, I guess I genuinely believe he has my best interests at heart. I've experienced tics before while on heavy doses of sodium valproate; they're not something I want to experience again, not if I can help it.

 

@jannert No, I just potentially lost us a lot of money (hard to quantify) and wasted several people's time in preparing the bid.

@No-Name Slob Thank you for sharing that. I've been reading other people's stories of the worst work mistakes they ever made. One person blinded a child and another cost their company $4,000,000 so I'm feeling a little better.

 

Ohhh man. I have to tell you about what my aunt did recently. Stay tuned after this break.

 

Well that's good!

 

I presume it was just an honest mistake, not because you were goofing off and not doing your job? Goofing off would be hard to live down, but just making a mistake? We all do that.

 

Mini-rant pertaining to my own mental health (I'm sure people will be able to relate) -->

Anxiety coupled with spurs of depression and dread from the monotonous reality of existence...? Yep. I've been there - it always comes in spurts. Just have days where I'm at work, and think to myself "Is this what living is? Is this what my life is supposed to be almost everyday when I finally get into a stable career? I worked my ass off all these years...for this?" Honestly, if I sit alone with my thoughts for too long, I just get sad. And then I get angry. I get angry at the way reality is, at the way society is, at how people are. I get so angry sometimes that I just want to cry because I feel like I don't have control. I just want to live a life where my passions can supplement all my needs - I want to live a life where money isn't the determining factor for practically every facet of life. It's so difficult to get by in "the real world" as someone who lives off of creative freedom and imagination when society constantly wants to put you into a box and chain you to a wall.

Everything I love about life is either imagined by myself or by other people - the things I love always seem to be inherently not real - Video Games, Stories, Tv Shows, etc. And when I sit and think about that, it really bothers me. Of course I have my friends that are real, my love for psychology, and some materialistic things. But I find myself living the most when I'm indulging in my own or others creations. That's what makes life worth living - things that aren't real - the fake realities that feel so much more right and real than my own. And that really bothers me, because I don't even really want to live in real life a lot of the time. Now, I'm not saying I'm a shut in, but when I let my thoughts run wild, I just feel so stifled by the way reality is. When I'm out with friends, I'm social, silly, bubbly, and a little crazy. But internally? Deep inside my head? There's a lot of darkness... and much of that translates into my writing - whether it's through poetry, or a horror story about the MC getting torn apart emotionally (but fighting through it, thankfully). I've dealt with these feelings a bit more as of late (especially since it's summer now and I have more time to hang onto my own thoughts). But I just have to keep moving forward and hope it slips into the back of my mind again.

If anyone needs someone to talk to, I'm always open to listen and more than happy to help.

 

It was just a slip of the mind. Like forgetting an appointment, or a birthday, or anniversary. It just completely went out of my mind that today was a deadline day. I guess people aren't going to trust me with deadlines for a while, but they will eventually. I made a lesser mistake a while back (submitted an old version of a file, with incorrect figures) and for a few months they would check every time that I was sending the right one. They don't do that anymore.

Thank you for your kind posts. My brain is starting to accept that life will go on

I could have written basically all of that. I never, ever let myself be alone with my thoughts. If there are no people around I read stuff online or listen to an audiobook. Even when I lay down to sleep I have to imagine stories in my head to stop me going down a bad route of thinking. Maybe this is why I'm so tired all the time and make stupid mistakes...

 

@FaythFuI @Tenderiser
I can relate to that somewhat. My problem is I get this intense sense of ennui. The boredom almost gets maddening tbh. I used to seek exciting things to do to get rid of the boredom and that neutral, empty, emotional state, but I've learned to deal with it. Anyway I sort of know how you guys feel. It sucks

 

I totally feel you with making stories in your head when you lay down to sleep - I do that all the time. And yeah, it's really difficult - I can't let myself think too much or I'll go crazy.

 

I don't really get bored. I just feel empty... I suppose boredom supplements the empty feeling, but, I don't know. But yes, I agree - it really does suck.

 

Yeah, the emptiness is consistent with depression.

 

Empty and angry - a hopeless dreamer, lost in poetic musings that no one cares about... etc, etc.