Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

@Sal Boxford that sounds bloody awful. I hope you don't have to see him again?

 

@obsidian_cicatrix It was a private setting, thankfully. It was a consultation to see if 'I was right for the group and the group was right for me.'

If I do join the group it won't be till January but I'm strongly leaning toward not doing. Will speak to my usual Crazy Lady and see what she reckons. She knows him. She recommended the group. And I trust her. I must be missing something. Ah well.

On the understanding that I do not 'like' that people are having a hard time, I shall use the 'like' button.

 

@Sal Boxford Ah right...still, it sounds like it was very uncomfortable for you. I've had mixed success with groups. But if nothing else, they often provide a sharp reminder that there are folks considerably worse off than I am. That usually helps me to feel grateful and stop feeling so damn sorry for myself, when I'm feeling crap. (I'm not for a moment suggesting that's how you feel. )

 

@obsidian_cicatrix Oh, no, I do a good line in self-pity.

Thanks, all, for support. xx

 

I've been reading this thread with a great deal of sympathy for all the folks who are contributing here.

I have one question about yours. Does the group therapy you're testing for apply to any particular disorder, or is it just general group therapy for whatever issues the participants have?

If you have mental issues relating to powerlessness and depression, seems to me that going to a group that might increase your stress is not maybe the best of plans. Why would the gatekeeper test your resilience to confrontation? Does he expect confrontation from the group? To what level and to what purpose? Just curious.

I suspect it's perfectly okay to ask, and also to tell him how his private session with you made you feel. And then listen carefully to his answers and responses. Is this the sort of group you think will help you?

 

@jannert It's mostly for people with social anxiety or who would rather saw their own arm off than have an argument with anyone. It's supposed to be a 'safe' environment for expressing stuff that you might not want to for fear of hurting people. Still, I find it hard to imagine other group members would speak to me the way he did.

I can see how it could be good. It was exhilarating to tell someone where to get off instead of just quietly getting cross. He was being so obnoxious that I felt like I could actually tell him, "You're being really rude and aggressive and I don't think that's okay," which is something I would never say in real life. Then again no one has really spoken to me like that in real life, except perhaps my mother (analyze that). But then actually expressing my anger towards him doesn't seem to have kept me from feeling furious about what happened long after it was over. I'm still mad. I expect the feeling is going to hang around for a week or two at least.

 

That's interesting, and I hope the residual anger you feel will bear good fruit for you. I have no idea what goes on in these groups, but possibly learning to express anger when you feel it, but in an appropriate way, might be of help. I know it's something lots of us need to learn. Largely because expressing anger is not something you're 'supposed' to do in western culture. You're supposed to be polite and suck it up, aren't you? Aargh, she said, politely, of course...

 

Fear of public speaking is the #1 fear. It eclipses even fear of death, so you're in lots of company tenderiser! But kudos for jumping into the water. I dealt with a similar problem by forcing myself to be active in my organisation, and I found it easier to speak out as I got to know some of the people, knowing that at least some of them were on my side.
I wonder if that is one of the reasons we write. We can mull over ideas at our leisure, edit them a zillion times, and eventually come up with something we're half satisfied with.
It's a funny old world...

 

@Genghis McCann Like you, I've been forcing myself into public talking situations for years. Maybe it's finally paying off?

It's definitely one of the reasons I love writing. I love being able to take as long as I need, to erase and rewrite. I'm one of those people who gets very flustered in difficult situations and then, 8 hours later just as I'm drifting off to sleep, comes up with the PERFECT retort. So now my characters give the perfect retorts for me.

 

I feel like something is missing from my life. I don't know what it is. I don't know how to find it. But there's a hole inside me that needs filling. And I feel more and more hollow every day.

 

I've spent years trying to fill that void... for me, at least, nothing does. The only way I can live with it is to turn my attention elsewhere, to distract myself from it. That's why I write, dance, play guitar, take photographs and paint. I put it down to my BPD. At least these days, I have my sedate hobbies, rather than going out of my way to do dangerous things like jumping off cliff ledges with nowt but a bungee, taking large amounts of drugs, meaningless sexual encounters, and other stuff of that ilk. It's so easy to fall into, and many succumb.

I get by with my hobbies, and a reasonably well developed sense of humour. That void starts making itself known? I force myself to laugh it. Self-effacing humour isn't a cure-all, but it helps. I acknowledge it, but I refuse to let it spoil what remains of my life. Goodness knows, I've f**ked it up enough.

 

Today I got an official diagnosis, I have clinical depression. They can't put me on medication because of my age so its back to behaviour therapy, which last time went terrible and made me worse. This will be a different sort apparently and then they may think about medication but they really don't want to as it may make worse before better. So now I've got to wait again.

 

Just a quick message to everyone on this thread to stick my hand up and say that none of you are alone in this, although I know that's not how it feels.

My issues were anxiety related - the details don't matter here.

I first spoke to someone professional over three years ago and I'm just now getting a bit of confidence that I have a handle on things - that's not to say it has gone away, just that when it comes back I can cope a lot better and don't (fingers crossed) end up spiraling down.

If anyone in interested I could post a list of what did and didn't work IN MY CASE, but your mileage will obviously vary.

 

Oh good, I forgot to take my anxiety pills today and considering I'm in one of my "cynical foul mood" periods as I like to call it, this clearly wasn't the best idea I've has. >:[ Smart, Link. Real smart.

 

Do you feel any sense of relief, now that you've finally got the official diagnosis? Which means there will be people and methods available to help you?

 

Could you see the therapy as a kind of stepping stone to getting the medication? Then, if the therapy works - great! - if it doesn't, well, it's only a stepping stone. I find things easier to bear if I know there's a time limit.

I'd be interested to hear your experiences. I've been very lucky in that side-effect-free medication sorted me out, but a lot of people aren't so fortunate.

Don't beat yourself up. I forgot pills ALL.THE.TIME., to the extent that I'm 27 but my mother still reminds me every evening.

 

A little relief, because maybe now I'll get a little more support from a few 'friends' who- no lie, said that I was making a fuss over nothing and should even bother going to the doctors and that I should just be less negative and be happier (great advice guys!). I've been getting support from my family and some friends and doctors and clinics have tried helping me for a while but they just all wanted to pussyfoot around the matter and say I'll be referred with nothing coming out of it. I really hope it will help me get more help and people to take me seriously.

I could but I don't really want to go on medication really, it's just I've got to wait to be referred to the therapy clinic which is going to take time again. I really had a bad experience with cognitive therapy, it sucked everything out of me so I have a low opinion of therapy.

Thank you guys for listening!

 

Well, best of luck. I don't know about you, but I always prefer to know what's really happening than to just dangle around in limbo, wondering WTF. Now you know what the problem is, and that it can certainly be improved—once you and your doctors find the right treatment.

 

Exactly, I.A. You're now on the path for good treatment. Best of luck.

Y'know, a part of me wants to draw a comic where either a cartoon version of myself, or one of my fictional characters sings about the anxiety I have and everything that comes with it. And share it with you all. How does that sound? Weird? I dunno, I just thought it would be humorous at the least.

Edit: ok, I'm drawing a comic on ms paint where one of my characters discusses Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's looking to be pretty promising. Will take a while to complete though.

 

Got a call from my mom today. Apparently this cousin Danielle called her the other day. Turns out, she was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic but doesn't agree with the diagnosis. Then my mom said Danielle started arguing with herself about it....

I'm still pretty worried about her. My mom said she seemed in good spirits, despite her crazy talk (mom said it sounded like she was on drugs, but whether she meant medication or actual drugs, I don't know). Still, she's going to reach out to my uncle who lives near her and have him check on her. I'm afraid she's going to snap and do something stupid. Not necessarily hurt herself, but cut out and run or something. I don't know. I'm just worried, I guess.

 

....You've been away from the States for too long!

 

Spirituality?

 

There's a quote by someone, I forget who, and the gist of it is that your basic overall happiness in life is directly correlated to how content you are to be alone in a room by yourself. What works for you is clearly your own business, but for me, when I was at my lowest, I would have sucked at being stuck in a room - my mind would have torn itself to pieces. After years of introspection etc. I'm now in a position where I have literally decked out a little spare room to just be a quiet thinking space for me.

 

He's got a good point, Jannert. Getting pissed and screaming our damn fool heads off is something we Americans are well-known for. I believe it's the Asian cultures that have the 'you have to suck it up and fake being happy!' thing.

 

Well, here it is! My comic where my characters explain Generalized Anxiety Disorder and anxiety in general.

Spoiler: The images are BIG

I just wanted to say I had a lot of fun making this. I'm probably going to share it with the Tavern Picture gallery.