Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

These made me feel so happy and just all I don't really know what inside. I really liked them. The fourth one really shows how I feel sometimes. Great job!

 

Thanks. Ironically, when I was drawing the panel about Akeshia putting her breasts onto Mishu's eyes -- basically trying to come up with the most disturbing thing ever, I felt a huge wave of anxiety and worry. Like, ‘Oh geez, what if they think I'm a disgusting pervert’. I almost scrapped that idea and picked something else but since I was making a comic discussing anxiety, I just had to go through with it. The demon-lady is how I envision anxiety to be. Terrifying and grotesque, ready to tear you down at a moment's notice.

One random thought here, or rather two:

• Mishu is a girl, but she looks a lot like a boy in this comic.
• Does she look a tad too young for a fourteen-year-old? I'm not good a proportions so yah. :> At any rate, I had loads of fun drawing this comic and I'm glad you all seem to like it.

 

Hello darkness my old friend

I see you've come to talk to me again.....

 

That's was funny, disturbing, scary, thought provoking and very, very well done.

Fortunately I couldn't relate to any of the characters, except perhaps the dark, twisted, malignant, hideous, sinister version of the MC.

 

I have a strong feeling that none of the stuff my doctor has me on works at all and when I bring this to his attention he often doesn't change it which pisses me off.

 

For some reason my prescription for my anxiety pills wasn't filled in despite them saying they would. *sighs* You'd think medical doctors and pharmacists would be on top of things. Here's hoping it's not the start of a larger problem which would end up with me not having the pills for longer.

So yeah, I get to now look forward to the possibility of returning to my pre-anxiety pill days assuming the worse. YAAAAAY!!!

 

My brain was really in revolt today. I woke up- cried. Why? Just had general feelings of loss and worry.
I sat in the bathroom and just sat there, my brain felt empty. It felt alright.
I went out and I had to listen to music as thoughts just flooded my mind and I was going to go insane.
I had a drink in a cafe and then cried right in front of the server who, poor chap, didn't have a clue what to do.

I have not felt this bad in a while, last time was about two months ago when I left college. I really don't know what to do about this, I'm just hoping my letter for the clinic will have came through when I get back home.

 

Damn, that sucks. :[ I remember my brain revolting against me a few months ago, leaving me very worried about some sort of horrific doom set to befall me, followed closely by thoughts of how much of a pathetic loser I was. Don't you wish you could just stab your brain sometimes? >:[ Of course, if you did that, you'd be dead 'cause, y'know, you need your brain to live.

 

This is going to sound like bad advice, but I'm coming from where you've been...

(This isn't meant as advice btw, just what helped me)

I used to get really down walking to and from work, 25 mins each way, my head would be a mess by the time I arrived.

I then found that listening to lively music on my iPod kind of filled my brain enough to drown out the thoughts.

But it didn't of course make any of my issues go away.

So I switched from listening to music to listening to mindfulness / guided meditations / psychology of the mind podcasts.

It felt a bit stupid at first, "Imagine you are in a lush forset... blah..blah..." but little by little, week by week I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it helped.

ps. I'm not talking about any kind of religious / spiritual stuff, just plain old scientists / counsellors chatting about the brain and saying "relax", "breathe" etc.

Clearly your mileage will vary.

Hang on in there. Have you tried literally writing about how shit you feel? I always found it helpful reading accounts of other people's issues, knowing I wasn't alone, and I'm sure it was good for them to write it all down. Regardless of the content, it can be nice to write with pure honesty.

 

Extra glum these last two days. Trying to work out what the reason might be but I don't know. Today I've been stalking obsessions on YouTube - something I usually try to avoid - on the grounds that it can't make me any sadder. Although I think it might have. What's the feeling they give me and what does it mean? Why these things? What am I looking for in them? How do they get into my head and why won't they go away?

I'm also fretting about my migraines. I was out of town until Friday evening and it's a public holiday in the UK tomorrow so I can't refill my prescription until Tuesday. I took one pill a couple of hours ago that hasn't shifted my current head pain. I have four pills left and I'm scared that I'll be in pain all weekend and still on Tuesday morning when I need to get up and go to work.

Do other people enjoy life or do they just look like they do? Where do they find all these things they want to do - in life or in their careers? Oh shit I'm turning into Holden Caulfield (again).

Current composition by volume: mope (47%), rage (31%), hopelessness (21%), self-mockery (1%).

 

Sometimes people are just good actors. I think that's why Plato once said to be kind to everyone because the happiest-looking person you see might very well be fighting very nasty personal demons.

 

That's what I worry about. I don't want that to be true. So we all just sit around, alone, dying and lying to each other? I want to believe someone, somewhere is happy, otherwise this horror story is even more frightening than it appears on the surface.

 

Oh no, there are plenty of folks who are legit happy. I'm perfectly happy myself, aside from the odd worry episodes I get on occasions.

 

Ah good. (How are they doing it?)

 

I don't know how they do it, but I take anxiety meds which helps calm the churning worry that exists in the back of my mind. I think the people who are legit happy are that way because they don't have the anxiety/depression telling them constantly what a horrible person they are/how horrid the world is. It can get kind of tiring. For me, I've come to realize that I'm the one controlling the little anxiety voice, it can whine and pitch a fit all it wants but I don't have to listen to it.

 

I'm currently feeling- about to cry 23%, self hating 27%, empty 49%, hopeless 1%.
I spend most of my life pretending to be happy as I really don't like everyone going what's wrong and stuff because half the time I honestly can't tell them.

 

Doesn't that just feel like sticking your head in the sand? Not all anxiety is unfounded. If the world seems horribly wrong and I stick my head in the sand, I've got to live with my head in the sand forever, because if I ever dared to take it out again everything would be even worse. I often think I could be happy if I ignored the wider world, but I don't feel like that's morally justifiable (she says, sitting around watching Columbo and indulging in self-absorbed whining on an internet forum). I notice my friends who are least concerned with the wider world - who focus on themselves and their families are the ones who seem most content... but then I start getting angry with those friends. Here I am thinking 'I'm not doing enough' while they're not doing anything. If they did do a bit of something, maybe things would be a bit nicer and I wouldn't be so fucking cracked. Or maybe things don't work that way.

Sorry. I'm just mopey and rambling! Obviously.

 

Indeed. If I knew that it wouldn't be quite so distressing - or I imagine it wouldn't.

If you tell people you feel like you need to provide progress reports too. And if your honest progress report is 'no change' that feels like you're boring them or letting them down. Yup, same whine, same thing I said two months ago, same thing you argued against. Your best attempt to help? Yeah, I've done nothing with that.

 

I've been dreading handing in my notice at work, and this morning I finally did it. My boss is upset and I am guilty. I mean he was professional about it but he is genuinely upset ALL BECAUSE OF ME I am a horrible person.

I went out and bought myself all the junk food for lunch. Also got him a beer and some sweeties.

 

Also... WHAT IF EVERYONE AT MY NEW JOB HATES ME? And what if I suck and they fire me and I have to live in a bin and eat banana skins?!

 

Oh heck. I'm 33 and have never been brave enough to leave a job for any reason other than "it's the end of the university holiday" - an excuse I haven't been able to use for 12 years. Well done, you!

Hope the next few weeks aren't too stressful. When do you start your new job?

 

In three months, unfortunately... lots of time for me to panic that I've made a huge mistake.

I hope you're happy in your job? 12 years is good going!

 

I definitely wouldn't cope well with 3 months to sit around wondering whether I'd done the right thing. If you're anything like me, the instant a decision is set in stone you "realise" that it is clearly the worst possible thing you could ever have done.

My job is fine. I'm not terrible at it, it doesn't hurt anyone, it pays pretty well, the people are nice, and I spend part of each working day reading long-form journalism and mucking about on an online writing forum. It could certainly be worse.

 

Right! I mentally checked out of this job as soon as I began looking for another (around a month ago). I will probably be able to negotiate my notice period down, because I don't think it will take them three months to recruit a replacement, but I'll see. My manager was shell-shocked enough about me leaving without me going into the details.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing by staying. I wouldn't have left unless I had a compelling reason to.