Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

And there in lies the rub. Finding someone close enough to meet, without having
to drive over 100miles one way.
I had thought about creating a local writers group, but I just don't think that will
fly here in Mormon land. I just don't know.

 

There is only one way to find out. And maybe try to target the group. Create a science fiction/fantasy writers' group? The worst that will happen is a) nobody will be interested. Or b) the wrong people will be interested. Either way, you can walk away. But you won't know till you try.

I got lucky. I joined a writing group here where I live many years ago ...and they were ALL elderly people who grew up here, either writing memoirs or poetry. I did not fit in. NOBODY was writing a historical novel, like me. They were nice enough, but not really compatible. I attended a few times, then stopped going.

Then, many years later, I tried again. I contacted the writer-in-residence for this general part of Scotland, and he said yes, there was a writers group going nearby. Filled with some trepidition, I attended a meeting, after letting them know I was coming. And guess what. Not only are they ALL novelists, but I've made two fantastic new friends. We not only do writing stuff together, but we hang out, go out for dinner (we all love Indian food) and take road trips to places of interest. It can happen. But it wouldn't have, if I hadn't tried to find them, via a shared interest in writing.

Just give it a try. Or two. Your local library may be a great help with this. Or if there is a college or university nearby, they might also know.

 

Your first group sounds like that Munch I went to, when I first moved back.
That was really awkward being around a bunch of middle aged couples
talking about their BDSM Lifstyle. It was not much fun, as I felt awkward
and they really didn't talk to anyone outside the core group. Glad I never went again.

The library idea sounds like a good place to start, though.

 

Any chance you could flee the Mormon land?

Sell all your possessions and rent an apartment from someplace completely different. I know it sounds drastic, but... people do that.

 

I second this... always good to get out to somewhere different. It helped me, even though I would have chosen a better place to move than where I am, but it still helped a lot to get away from where I was.

 

I did that too. It was awesome and exciting (even if a little exhausting) to begin anew. It can get lonely, though, especially if your family is far away, but it allows you to reinvent yourself. I don't think I ever want to go back to my old hometown 'cause here we have the sea, the beautiful capital, and once you get used to the traffic, it's not so bad. I recommend uprooting yourself when you feel stuck in a rut or like an outsider.

 

I would if I had anything of value that could land me a reasonable apartment.
The things of value are a drum set, car, and my carpet installation tools.
Two out of those three have real purpose for me in applicable fashion.
And the third which is roughly about a grand with all the hardware and
everything, would not sell fast or easy.

I would have to make a deal the the devil, if I seriously want get out of here.
(why don't I have a few bricks of gold collecting dust somewhere)

 

Go on Craigslist and find a room for rent down here in Phoenix, man. When I was younger I found a place on Craigslist that was like $250 a month or something stupid cheap. It wasn't nice or anything and the landlord was a creep, but I had a reliable, cheap place to stay. And if you're in the city (instead of bum-fuck northern AZ), there's a ton of work available. It wouldn't be long before you were able to save up and find a better spot to live.

 

Thankfully I'm not too fond of my family, so I was happy to get away, but yes this is hard to do it you're used to things as they are. We actually moved on Christmas day, me driving a Uhaul and with no shocks...fun.

You can still move though. Sometimes it doesn't seem like you can, but if you really want to get out, trust me, you'll find a way. I had to give up some things myself, and my fiance had to land a really nice job after I'd lost mine, but it is possible. I still look back on it in awe and wonder, not sure how it was pulled off, but it still happened despite my unbelief. I moved from a place I'd lived all my life, and I'm happier for it. Don't give up hope in any case.

 

Good for you, getting out and about, even if it seems like torture.

I've never been a "joiner". All of my hobbies are solitary. Like yourself, I love music and am improving my keyboard jazz skills with some lessons from a good teacher. You are a writer, so you are an observer of human nature. One of the things I've done over my life is to carefully watch people that I admire who have social skills that I don't, and try to figure out what they are doing that I'm not. Then I try to duplicate the skills. It isn't as hard as it sounds. I've learned many new things from neighbours, friends and relatives this way and have been able to improve my social life considerably this way. And I'm over twice your age.
This may sound strange, but have you ever thought about changing your avatar? People tend to live up (or down) to their expectations and labels. The real Genghis (Scottish or not) is nothing like who I am, but simply presenting myself as someone unafraid of anyone or anything really helps in generating a "kick-ass" presence that I try to live up to online and in my other life.

Aye,
Genghis.

 

I had never considered it. It was a nice irony in the fact that I write sci-fi.

 

Good point. "What does your avatar tell about you?" "I'm angry and non-existent extremely rare."

 

I'm a man who stinks of fish?

 

For the longest time I thought you were a man with an open book over his head.

 

That's why I picked it for a writing site.

 

<sniffs fin> "Meh, I smell just fine." :]

 

You're a whale who stinks of fish. TOTALLY different.

 

How can I smell any different? :3

 

Maybe if we cooked you?

Nono, stop looking there, I don't have a harpoon. It's a fashion accessory.

 

My avatar doesn't say much about me but it proves there is occasionally blue sky in Belfast, contrary to popular opinion. It doesn't rain all the time...

...just most of it.

 

(Roots around and pulls a harpoon out)

>:[

 

My avatar is from my favorite movie/book series and also represents my Trump resistance.

 

It's not what it looks like!