Mental illness - how do you cope?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Gigi_GNR, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    No I'm not afraid of being uninteresting - I would like people to be totally uninterested in me so they don't want to talk to me anymore!

    What I'm afraid of is those horrible awkward silences where you both just want to leave but your starters have only just arrived...
     
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  2. Chinspinner

    Chinspinner Contributor Contributor

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    Oh I wanna take you out for dinner now. Not in a massive chloroform pervert way, in a normal way. haha. Although I might have already put that idea out there ;)
     
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  3. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

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    A few years ago a well-known drinks company was doing a promotion "Buy 24 cans of our beer, send us a couple of quid for postage, and we'll send you a jumper."

    3 months down the line, I phoned up to say "Where's mine?"

    One arrived by return of post.

    The original arrived a week later...

    I did not feel bad. If they'd got it right first time, they wouldn't have had to jump through hoops to put it right. Or, put another way, I regard the second jumper as a penalty clause for the delay they'd subjected me to.
     
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  4. Chinspinner

    Chinspinner Contributor Contributor

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    You ever tried stand up?
     
  5. Imaginarily

    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    *never talks to @Tenderiser again*
     
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  6. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Soooo we're going for lunch on 2 December. Is there a way to induce complete loss of voice? Maybe go to a hospital and lick some people on the ENT ward?

    :cry:
     
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  7. Imaginarily

    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    I do recall a while ago when you were sick, telling you to lick everyone at work.

    Lick everyone at work, lady. Do it right now.

    I hear screaming for long periods of time is a good way to lose your voice too.

    So chase those people around, licking and screaming. :rofl:
     
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  8. Gigi_GNR

    Gigi_GNR Guys, come on. WAFFLE-O. Contributor

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    Within the last few years there's really been a sudden surge of people coming out and talking a lot more about their illnesses in public, and I think that's a good thing. There's probably any number of reasons for that surge, but no matter what they are, getting more public knowledge of this kind of stuff is so important. Less and less is coming from that "get a grip" crowd because people are actually acknowledging that it's a real thing to be mentally ill.

    I'm glad I started this thread - hearing you guys talk about strategies gives me ideas and it makes me feel like I'm not alone.
     
  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Just remember: talking with your mouth full is rude. So just make sure you eat a LOT...:)
     
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  10. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Oh dear, you should visit Finland. I've sat through lunch with a co-worker without exchanging nothing else except a "hi" and "see ya." I kid you not. This is like one stereotype I can confirm true.

    Anyway, as for the topic...
    I've had two "episodes" in my life when my mental health was on a shaky foundation. I had a burn-out, and in the aftermath was diagnosed with anxiety (had vicious anxiety attacks) and depression -- I was a mess mentally, over all the shit that had happened so far. I was given the anti-deps, took 'em, my mood stabilized, I could function normally, and I quit them after a while without too much trouble. I still have benzos for anxiety attacks, but for the most part I don't need them. I wish, wish others could experience a healing process like that because mental health is so precious. What I learned from the experience was that no, you can't just wish your illness or depression away with happy thoughts. You very often need help, and you should seek help, but I know it's hard, especially when your family perceives it as a sign of weakness. I mentioned to my mom I had to seek help and that I got a prescription and her reaction was so negative it completely tore me down. At least now I know I will never talk to her about any of this stuff.

    The other time was in high school, and I actually healed without drugs or therapy. This is going to sound sappy, but I've come to realize that martial arts "saved" me, specifically Krav Maga, but after that I've dipped my toes in several disciplines until I found my home at a boxing gym, and, amazingly, it has kept my head above the water. In high school, I weighed around 90lbs (I'm 5'7'') and I was obsessed with staying skinny and getting skinnier... The classic, cliché case of teenage girl anorexia (I don't mean to sound mocking or belittle eating disorders, but this is how I process it). But the thing about being skinny is that you're very weak and vulnerable, and you constantly feel like shit; light-headed and woozzy, breathless, nauseous, and your stomach is this cavernous, empty thing screaming for food... But also, oh so flat, oh look at the hip bones, the bikini bridge, the ribs shining through... Like anyone actually gave a shit. I won't lie, you do get loads of positive feedback, but is it really genuine? And is it really that important?

    Anyway, one weekend I kind of fucked up and got hurt, and really began to understand how vulnerable I was. I had all this crap just swirling around in my head stemming from my parents and brother (all obsessed with sports and very disparaging towards heavier people), and the school nurse suggested I'd meet with a psychologist, but, also, thanks to my folks, I didn't want to be that freak. But soon after graduation I moved in with my now-hubby, who was into Krav Maga among other RBSD disciplines and combat sports, and I joined him in the club. It was awesome, although my physical weaknesses came all the more evident there, but it motivated me to get stronger, eat well, and not give a hoot about being skinny.

    Ironically, while twenty pounds heavier now, I am still pretty easy to throw around (gaining weight is not easy for everyone), but I'm healthy and okay between the ears. I can eat and enjoy food. I'm more confident and feel less afraid, less of a victim. Sure, sometimes it stings when I get flack for holding this kind of attitude (it's macho, delusional, immature, brutish, toxic etc. to be into combat sports), but that's not as bad as not eating, growing weaker and weaker, obsessing over your body, seeing protruding bone and hollow cheeks in the mirror -- and still think you're fat.

    So I guess those two ways; therapy+drugs and sports have helped me cope and even healed me. I know not all mental illnesses are curable or can be fought away with physical exercise or whatever enjoyable hobby, but if what has helped me could help someone else, that's great. Other things that helped me to cope... Come to terms with what you've got/admit that you have a problem. Also, other people's support, particularly my husband's. I usually pay no mind to pricks, they can't unravel me, and I don't get triggered by, say, anorexia or rape jokes (gallows humor can actually be really quite helpful) 'cause there are far worse things out there than words and pictures. I've also noticed writing and reading can be really quite therapeutic; basically any creative endeavor helps to take your mind off the bad stuff or process it. I guess what still sucks is that I can't be straight about this stuff with my family. Those who can, do treasure it.
     
  11. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Thanks. :friend::blowkiss: You're the best.

    To be honest, sometimes I envy those with no anxiety disorder; where their brain doesn't create false realities and insists they are real, or concoct some doomsday scenario that will happen or treat the most minor thing like a global nuclear war just broke out and then make the sufferer feel like crap when they have the attack in response to that. I like to imagine it as a little green goblin creature with sickly yellow eyes carrying a megaphone constantly screaming into it. That's anxiety.

    Living with an anxiety disorder also taught me something that may be beneficial to everyone: Every single person on Earth has their own battle to wage. Some are more severe than others, but we all have to deal with something. It helps to have support from friends and family, to have coping strategies. I've heard that some, understandably, get offended by the phrase ‘others have it worse than me’, but for me personally it helps to put things into perspective. It reminds me that even when I'm in the middle of an anxiety episode and just about the only thing I can do is sit down and attempt to not explode on everyone, that someone, somewhere, would rather have my anxiety than whatever they're going through. It's all I've got now, but it's something. :D

    It must be an utter nightmare for those who don't have that kind of support. They know something is wrong with them (be it mentally or physically) and the people around them simple scoff and tell them they're imagining things or they need to get over it.

    I'll stop myself before I engage <Reverend Preacher Mode> where I start ranting out a conscience of thought post. :p But thanks for the post. You're awesome.
     
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  12. xanadu

    xanadu Contributor Contributor

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    I've found this to be very helpful as well. It's both startling and comforting to find out that so many people share the same discomforts/social awkwardness/anxieties/what have you as I do. Realizing you're not the only one who worries about certain things lifts a huge weight off. At least for me.
     
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  13. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Oh yes. I would have crumbled so many times without my best friend, whose mental issues are remarkably similar to mine. :D She's said the same thing to me. It even helps to talk to her about the quirks we don't share, because we can laugh at each other without being judgemental.
     
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  14. xanadu

    xanadu Contributor Contributor

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    I also found this article to be hilariously therapeutic, as well. Especially #6.

    Everybody has something.
     
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  15. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Is it possible that most/many people have or have had anxiety, but were able to overcome it?
     
  16. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I can't see how. A chemical imbalance in the brain is unlikely to be "overcome" without conscious effort.

    Of course there is a difference between the emotion, being anxious about something, and having medical anxiety.
     
  17. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    What chemical imbalance? According to google, that is not true.
     
  18. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Chemical imbalance is an unproven theory.
     
  19. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    It's the one with the most evidence and is certainly the cause of mine, since SSRIs almost eliminate it. I shouldn't apply it to everybody though.

    In any case, none of the less-evidenced theories are things that are true of "most" people, or easily overcome in the ones they do apply to:
    • overactivity in areas of the brain involved in emotions and behaviour
    • an imbalance of the brain chemicals serotonin and noradrenaline, which are involved in the control and regulation of mood
    • the genes you inherit from your parents – you're estimated to be five times more likely to develop GAD if you have a close relative with the condition
    • having a history of stressful or traumatic experiences, such as domestic violence, child abuse or bullying
    • having a painful long-term health condition, such as arthritis
    • having a history of drug or alcohol misuse
    List from the NHS.
     
  20. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    If you mean by overcome e.g. taking the prescribed meds when you know you'll be in an anxiety inducing situation (like after my burnout I got attacks especially in tight spaces, so I knew to take the meds before flying a plane or riding in a car), then yes, it's possible, although I don't know how it goes with Generalized Anxiety Disorder 'cause mine is/was pretty specific.

    Then there's "normal" anxiety, which can be overcome by mental exercises or just by getting used to whatever causes it. When my nerves were frayed, I had trouble teaching a class because of stage fright, of all things. I couldn't really rely on meds 'cause you had to be sharp, so you just have to push through, breathe deep, and tell yourself you're gonna be fine, and even if you fucked up, it wouldn't be the end of the world.
     
  21. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Depends on the severity. My anxiety is controllable, but there are those with such severe anxiety that they need medication to function. That's the thing with most mental and physical disorders; you can't quantify it. You can't peg it down as ‘this is how everyone experience it.’ It varies from individual to individual. Some can more or less deal with it, others need a little more help. And for some others, it's crippling. As in, it's completely taken over their life.

    Basically, it just depends on the severity of it and the experience of the individual who has it. You have to be careful though, because how one person experiences the disorder doesn't always hold true with someone else with that same disorder.
     
  22. Imaginarily

    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Stupid god damn windshield wipers. :wtf: The worst aspect of that is, "I need to just pop the wipers once, it's a bright and sunny day and there's nothing on my windshield except, like dust, the wipers should clear it. ...But everyone will think I'm fucking crazy for using my wipers when it's dry."

    I'm glad that helps you stay grounded. In my opinion, though, difficult is difficult, it's not a contest.

    For example, sometimes I lose my ever-loving sanity at the grocery store. It's a big bright building filled with people I don't know, who bustle around without regard for what I'm doing. On top of that, half of the things I buy I have no idea where they are, so I wander around like a lost fool and sometimes pass the thing a couple times because why the fuck would it be with the soup!? The world literally closes in around me when anxiety gets bad at the store. I get tunnel vision, my other senses pretty much turn off. I could be staring at a product on the shelf trying to figure out what it is, unable to register the name splayed clear as day across its packaging. I can see it, I just can't see it. I fidget with the shopping cart in search of comfort. Everyone around me is suddenly a threat. I don't care about my groceries anymore, I just want to run.

    Someone else might not have this kind of challenge at the grocery store. They might have something completely different, and that's my point:

    Context and cause don't nullify the subjective experience. One is not more "valid" than the other. A person is made of subjective opinions, prejudices, preferences, and experiences — I don't think there's much at all about the human psyche that is logical.

    Perspective is good, but obstacles are still obstacles. Difficult is difficult. Comparing to someone else is, at least for me, counterproductive, because that person isn't me. They can't operate my mind for me, and I'm the only one who can defeat my own challenges. o_O
     
  23. Jack Asher

    Jack Asher Banned Contributor

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    The cause of every mental illness is an unproven theory.
     
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  24. Adenosine Triphosphate

    Adenosine Triphosphate Member Contributor

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    It clashes with the traditional concept of personal responsibility. We're supposed to be beings of near-omnipotence, capable of building whatever attributes we desire. The briefest injection of reality is too painful for many people to entertain.
     
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  25. SilentDreamer

    SilentDreamer Member

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    This was an interesting thread to stumble upon.
    My 'afflictions"? Anxiety here too, and probable depression. Spent 3-5 yrs on Citalopram for anxiety and panic attacks. Probably should have been medicated A LONG TIME prior to that! More on that in a minute.

    I know when my anxiety started to bother me - as a New Graduate (I work in Health....Not a Dr tho) working in a high stress environment where sterility was a huge issue....though my anxiety made it bigger than it needed to be (and was told so as well!). Ended up having a week off on sick leave to start meds - which helped. Though, my anxiety post leaving that particular position was never related to clinical situations - mostly outside of work stuff. I can tell now if I'm building to a panic attack, and take myself away to some place I can either ride it out (and cry...I'm such a cryer...hahah), or manage it enough to deal with what ever situation I'm in. A panic attack also doesn't wipe me out for the rest of the day like it used to. Completely unmedicated now for several years, and the methods I found (as above) still working.

    My anxiety has changed though - it's more related to my child rather than general now. And surfaces more as slight paranoia that something will happen to her (apparently this isn't uncommon for mothers in particular, with or without mental health issues!), to significant guilt when I haven't done something, or I've missed something, or....just not as good a parent as I would like to be. My lovely wife does all the right things, tries to boost my confidence in my parenting abilities, and the job that I'm doing as a mother. I guess, it's just one of those things.

    Stress makes me slightly OCD about a few things - like taps...I just smile now, and check the damn tap as I realise I'm stressed about things!

    Depression - I'm pretty sure one can't consider suicide unless they are either depressed, or terminally or chronically ill. I could be wrong. However, I wasn't terminally or chronically ill as a teenager. So, I consider I was probably depressed for a number of years as a teenager - I'd hate a psychiatrist to read the poetry I wrote as a teenager!. I wasn't medicated, nor did many people know how I truly felt at the time - the poetry was hidden in a number of books under my bed! I'm just lucky I know I'm impulsive at times, so I made myself a promise that I would write a note if I ever did anything....writing the note made the decision go away....

    I wonder if mental health struggles makes a difference in the nature of our writing? The way we deal with the emotions of our characters, what happens to them. I know many of my characters are reasonably introspective, and I spent a lot of time in my head.
     
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