In a prologue I've written for my current project, I've referred to the enemy as Shepherds and the rebels as goats. For example - "The shepherds have a treacherous plan. A plan to hack audaciously through the lives and souls of many a people with a cheerful enthusiasm, only found in the most exquisite of madmen. But I am a goat amongst sheep...." Do you think this kind of metaphor is overused/ a cliche?
No, but I think it is a bit weak. Sheep and goats compete for the same grazing area, but other than that, there;s little threat to either the sheep or their shepherds by goats. Nor are sheep the best model for a marauding army.
I dunno, I kinda like it. But isn't the saying "separate the sheep from the goats"? As in the goats are bad and the sheep are good? Is that connotation something you want?
Outside of its religious implications, it sounds a little ridiculous. Thinking of someone as a goat is just gonna make me laugh. Can you imagine, a climatic moment when there's the line, "And then, I decided - I will become a goat." Or, "There was a flock of sheep menacing the people, but there are always the goats amongst them who do not fear!" And then if there're no religious connotations to your book, then all the more, I think you should use different terminologies. I'm a Christian and the first thing I thought was "Ah, there goes yet ANOTHER anti-God, anti-Bible, anti-Christ person trying to make the world think badly of God and religion" Now of course that may not be true, but you must realise, it's a famous and well-known enough analogy within Christianity that Jesus calls His people His "sheep" and He is the Great Shepherd (remember the quote, "I am the Good Shepherd. I lay down my life for my sheep...") And there's of course the parable where he separates the sheep from the goats - and the goats are the sinners who did not follow Christ. So unless you're looking to tackle/attack this particular idea/doctrine, I suggest you use something else, otherwise if it ever gets published, you'll get tonnes of neg reviews and discussions that's all out of context to what you intended.
The sheep and the goats means the faithful and the unfaithful. In a literative fashion, it sets an easily understood dichotomy. At a board meeting you might want to discuss lay-offs segmented by a top to bottom cut in some areas, rather than bottom only. Your goal is to get rid of the deadwood. You would make your presentation to the CFO as a move to "separate the sheep from the goats." A valid and understandable analogy, and it has nothing to do with religion.
What about using separating the chaff from the wheat instead? It means the same thing as separating the 'goats from the sheep,' but it may allow you to use the imagery of threshing the wheat - which seems like it is a vicious image (to me) and may relate better to the army theme? I know contemporally they use a machine to do this, but back in the day they did it manually with a flail.
Touche. But Shepherd's don't sacrifice their sheep, do they? Isn't that counter intuitive to minding the sheep?
A bit of a cliche given that most readers have little familiarity with grain processing. A more accessible metaphor might be preferable. I also don't think separating wheat from chaff is quite the analogy aimeekath is looking for. She's talking more about infiltration than separation.
Hi, I also don't think the shepherd analogy makes a good enemy. I was raised an Anglican and the first thing I thought of when you said shepherd was 'the good shepherd'. So the shepherd is the good guy, tends to his flock, keeps the wolves at bay. Making him the bad guy just seems wrong to me. Also goats and sheep graze together, and though it goes against the origin of the name, shepherds often tend to flocks of goats as well. The analogy I think you're looking for is something along the lines of the proud rebel versus the authoritarian police. Chaos against control. Star Wars. So maybe you could go for something more along the lines of Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat versus the ever bungling state. As I recall the rat James Degrizz often thought of the people as sheep. Cheers Greg.
Yes, I was kind of going for the sheep being like followers, always going with what the enemy or 'shepherd' says. But as you said, it is a literative fashion and I was thinking I should avoid doing something that might be overused. Do you know any other books (apart from the Bible) that do something similar perchance? Also, I was thinking that the goats could try and convert the sheep over to their way of thinking, and bringing about a larger rebellion. I kind of want a vicious image since it's all a dystopian type society. Although it could imply that my heroine wants the sheep to die, rather than actually trying to save them from opression. Correct. But thank you for the wheat and chaff suggestion I'll take a look at it. Thank you everyone for your always insightful feedback.
I've always preferred the word "sleeper agent". It sounds insidious and Russian, like a super-secret top espionage plan TO OVERTHROW THE EVIL SHEPHERD'S REIGN WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! On a side note, in the almost-excellent book Candlejak, the "Bad Shepherd" is a side character that has an evil alignment but is basically a wildcard. That's what your metaphor made me think off. [Actually, come to think of it, the Bad Shephard doesn't actually exist and when people talk about him they mostly say thinks like "that's a douche" and forget about it.]
I am writing some story's and I could use some funny examples of metaphors. I need something for; ~ A stomach ache, a metaphor of how it feels after you've eaten bad food. ~ How awkward it would feel if you are known as the person taking a dump in a club. ~ What its like when a lady doesn't call you back for the so-many'th-time. Just these for now, thanks
Hi, Not metaphors so much, just a little playing around. "His stomach burned. The chicken from lunch was churning inside him like lava threatening to erupt, and when it blew he suspected it might take his head with it!" "Everyone stared at him. Why? He felt like the man who'd just been caught stinking up the place - except that it was worse than that." "He stared at the phone, angered by its silence. Could it be disconnected? Or had she disconnected him?" Cheers, Greg.
Heeeey number 1 and 3 have something, this is great, thanks ! If you (or anyone) has anymore ideas feel free to put'm here..
Instead of offering one, I'll tell you how to create one. Teach a man to fish... Start off by how you want to characterize the stomach. That's easy. Is it a person, place or thing? Not hard, right? But, the secret is to be.. metaphorical. So, what makes a good metaphor, here? What makes a good metaphor for each noun? Person - An angry mother-in-law. A policeman. A Judge, Jury or Executioner. A lunatic. A claims processor at an insurance company. An angry restaurant customer. A baseball player. So, pick one of these or come up with one of your own. Now, whoever they are, they must react, feel or otherwise do something.. metaphorically consistent with what it is you wish to portray. The stomach is aching, so how to these people portray that? An angry mother-in-law might curse you or, better yet, let's get physical! It is physicality you're going for here, after all. So, an angry mother-in-law might look at you and twist up a dishrag until it crackled. Write that as a metaphor for your "stomach ache." A policeman might pull you over and give you a ticket. Your stomach might force you over to the side of the road, as well. It might even "punch your ticket" if the food you ate was bad enough. See where I'm headed, here? Invent a type of person and have them do something that is sufficiently descriptive to communicate how the stomach feels to the character. That handles the "person" part. The "place" part is the same. Invent a place. A desert. A stormy sea. An iron bucket. A swamp. The x-ray machine at an airport. Etc... Have it "do" or "experience" something that effectively communicates the metaphor. So, the stomach might feel like someone dropped a load of iron in a desert - Interesting, but sure to get a bit uncomfortable in a few minutes. The "thing?" Well, you should have a handle on the process, by now. So, give it a try. Create a thing that is having something done to it, is doing something or is somehow involved in portraying something uncomfortable. Keep trying until you come up with something that works. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, after all. What's embarrassing? Awkward is, after all, something that denotes embarrassment. What sort of person, place or thing could be "embarrassed" if it was anthropomorphized, if not already human? What would embarrass a... fish? Being caught without scales? (Yeah, I know, bad metaphor for that. But, I only have so much time. ) Personally, I don't find the idea of having been known to take a "dump" at a club as particularly awkward. At least, not awkward enough to devote a metaphor to it. That seems to be overdoing the whole idea of metaphors, anyway. Let the character worry about "swamp butt" a bit and drop the idea of using the heavy hand of metaphor for this instance. Hard to say without appropriate context. In other words, few metaphors I could give you would be appropriate. Does the character feel used? Strangely happy? Emotionally tortured? What's the context? No, don't answer that. Instead, grab a person, place or thing and then muck around with it experiencing, doing or thinking something until your new metaphor "works."
Morkonan - I love your fish caught without scales idea Never thought to do metaphors this way, thanks for the tip! I have a hard time being funny in my writing - it always comes out wrong. *runs off to give it a go*
Yeah Markonan, I see where your going with this and it's also a new way of thinking for me, also what I need With the ''taking a dump in the club'' thing is more like; Your in a club bathroom and the toilet is always busy with guys using urinals and practicaly nobody takes a dump in them over here, people would bang at the door, make embarrasing comments when you come out and another guy in the club might ask; ''Hey man, what the f*ck did you eat ? That was one nasty load !'' And that when your walking past and him being surrounded by cute girls, something like that to make it feel awkward. I always thought that you could be (or the character) embarrased by waliing out of the open toilet and have all the guys stare at you as soon as you opened that door again stinking the place out. Kind of a broad explanation but you get the idea I guess..
mark... no offense intended, but how do you expect to be a writer, if you can't come up with your own metaphors?
None taken mammamaia, I understand where you are coming from. I only seek inspiration, I sometimes work with a ''take and develop'' method. I would not literally take what is written here of course When psychotik only mentioned ''erupt'' and Morkonan came up with the idea of thinking how things would be.. psychotik's volcano eruption (natural disaster) together with looking at things with a different perspective like Markonan advised I came up with; ''My stomach hurt [or] rumbling so much it felt like an earthquake on magnitude 6 !'' I'm also looking for similes, metaphors and similes look nearly alike to me. I kinda understand the difference, being bi-lingual has its own issues
