This is a fanfic work (HP world) that I'm writing, and am editing it one last time before I post it. I got it back from a Beta today and started reading through it, only to find this paragraph with semicolons. After the discussion here, I had two questions: I believe the punctuation in what is posted below is technically correct. Can I get feedback to see if I'm right or wrong?
Please limit responses to the correctness of the punctuation, not esthetics. Critique is not permitted in this part of the site.
If anything, I'd say the use of semi-colon there is not correct. Now I'm not 100% sure so double check and wait for other responses, but semi-colons are either used to connect 2 fully independent sentences with closely related meanings, or else they're used to separate items in a list. Yours does neither. I'd write it like this: I changed the first semi into a full colon - colons are usually used in front of a list, after all. I'd keep the commas in the list as is. Finish the list at the end with a period, and added "washed over him" in the next sentence so it could be a stand-alone because otherwise the sentence is simply too long. I know nothing about the emdashes so no comment. Alternatively I would finish the sentence at "threshold" and start the list as a complete separate sentence. Not grammatically, technically correct but it's often done for atmosphere/emphasis in fiction. Now if you really wanna use your semi-colons, then I'd either use it in place of the commas in the list, or else use it like this, keeping the structure I've improvised because you need 2 independent sentences in order to connect them with a semi: Notice the semi-colon is between the 2 full sentences - between the words "floors" and "a wave of feelings...". I'd keep the colon I inserted as is because you simply do not start a list with a semi-colon. You must start with a colon, or else start it as a stand-alone sentence.
Ahh, I see what you're doing there. I really liked how you did it. As far as the semicolons go, I was using the two of them in lieu of commas, but after reading what you wrote, I went back to my style guides and realized that you're right, the first one is absolutely wrong. The second one is okay, but reads kind of clunky at that point. I just went ahead and broke them all up into sentences and did away with the semicolons all together. Sigh. Thanks for the input, it really did help.
