Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Duchess-Yukine-Suoh, Jan 28, 2014.
Kids do benefit from overcoming obstacles. Giving them one in the form of taking away educational opportunities is just short-sighted and stupid. It's too bad he doesn't appear to have your best interests at heart.
Let you mom handle him in court if it comes to that. Try to stay out of the middle of it between your parents as much as possible - as their kid, they shouldn't be pushing that stress and drama onto you. Just be ready to support your mom in court when the time comes.
As I said, things will be good in the end.
It's hard to take, but learn to smile bitterly about it and power through.
It takes a bit of cruelty too but you have to believe you're in the right and he'll get what's coming.
You'll end up going to that school, no one is gonna take away a child's want to get a good education.
Court favors the child, courts favor the mom, they favor what's best for the kid.
There's nothing to worry about it.
Gah, that sucks. Just be respectful of your father, do what he says, and hope it doesn't last long. .
When my parents wanted to make things harder on me, they took away the internet. Just kidding, we didn't have internet when I was a kid. Instead they took away my cell phone and text messaging...oh we didn't have text messaging, and you had to carry a cell phone around in a bag as big as a grocery sack.
Okay, nevermind I can't relate to this thread, but yes kids shouldn't be used as a tool to hurt the other parent.
Wait you mean they didn't take away your best chance for education to punish you for not having enough hardship?
Did you have TV? Stereo? Radio? Did they take away those things? How about taking away freedoms in the form of groundings?
Parent have resorted to taking things away since people have been having kids. It's just a different set of toys/privs.
You missed the entire point of this thread.
Well, hardship is the best way to teach children if fiction books are any guide.
School? They'll have to learn and appreciate the hard way to learn.
Modern technology? They should learn to hunt and build their own tools.
Friends? They can be social in the office.
Support? If they want it bad enough, they'll keep at it no matter how much we put them down.
Food? Bowl of rice. Luxurious food doesn't give them anything.
Community? Let's let them run wild in the woods all day and berate them for not helping around the house more.
That's how I'll raise my children.
Please, for the love of God, don't have kids.
That sounds a bit like my dad, actually.
No, I read both threads about your dad being an atheist and not wanting you to attend a Catholic school. I'm also an atheist, so it's kind of a IDC type issue for me. I was responding to Lewdog, not you.
They took away my pet rock, and then I had no friends.
Sometimes they would take away my bike or my skateboard, but if they did that then they would just be stuck putting up with me at home and they didn't want that. See I was a smart kid and made sure all my friends had all the coolest toys, so I could just go over to their place to play. Colecovison and unlimited Shasta Cola...oh that was the bomb, and he was my best friend.
My mom just made me sit in the corner. Only twice, I was a good child.
(Dad paid no attention to me until....ever...)
The funny thing about hardship is that it has it's own agenda and works on it's own schedule. Sounds to me like your dad is jealous. He's unhappy, he didn't get what he wanted in life (probably because he emitted the wrong selfish energies over the years and the universe responded in like kind--it's the Law of Attraction at work) and now he's projecting onto you. He wants to make you unhappy in an attempt to make himself feel better, but he doesn't realize that spreading misery doesn't heal anyone. In fact, I'd be surprised if he realized he even has a problem. Like many men, I'd wager he's buried it under layers and masks and false behaviors, deceiving even himself.
Respect your parents and and act in love towards them both. But don't let yourself be consumed by this. Let him do what he wants with the courts. As others have said, the courts favor the children and what's best for them. They also favor the mom in most cases. You are old enough--and certainly bright enough--to effectively make your own case in this matter. Try your best to stay out of this, but if you are asked, do not be afraid to tell the court how you feel, how he makes you feel, and how it affects your goals and development.
Your dad really ought to be ashamed of himself. My ex-step-dad threatened some bull like this regarding my half-sister, Lexi (his daughter), And I swear I almost went off. I believe @JJ_Maxx is right. Do your best to honor your parents. It is hard advice for me to give because I was never one to sit idly by when thinks went unfairly with my mom (and they did, it was not just me being young and rebellious), but perpetuating conflict by allowing it into you may cause more harm than than good. Don't keep you're emotions bottled up, but don't allow yourself to be a conductor of negative energies. Whatever you put out, you open yourself up to receive. Love is the key. Be love and love will fill your life, even if it take time for the negativity to fade.
Just as a "funny" bit of my backgound, I admit I was a rascal. My mom thought she could control me down to the very core (my body function and my thoughts). She'd say things like, "I'm the mom; if I say jump, you don't even ask how high, you just do it. If I say smile you betta open your mouth and smile." To which I always said, "you can't control my body." I always got a good whack for it, but it took a lot to make me yield, and it took until I was 18 for her to realize she can't control my mind.
I remember times when I would get so wrapped up in homework I would forget to take out the trash (and yes I was doing homework; I was a straight A student taking honors/AP classes and participating in sports most of the year). Soon, she would come by and we'd be at it because I forgot. I'd say, "I'm sorry mom, I just forgot. I'll do it right now." but that wasn't good enough for her. "Sorry, you need to stop forgetting. You better figure it out and remember your chores. Maybe you don't need sports if you can't do things at home. I'm always telling you to do your chore." In truth, she only had to remind me once or twice a month. So I would reply, "You cant control my mind just by telling me what to do." she did't like that, but I told it like it was.
Not to give you any ideas, just sharing some info about me. Don't be like me. It cause more problems than it solved, but neither of us learned for a long time. I learned eventually, but even when giving her exactly what she wanted, there was no right solution lol. We're good now. We've reached an understanding >_<
See that's when I would start sneaking some of your favorite stuff in the trash. Then you would make sure you never forgot the trash, and remember it was your job to put it out instead of mine...because if I put it out, your stuff would be lost for good. lol
From what I've seen of your postings, you are very mature and highly intelligent. That's why I'm backing you to get through this in the end.
I also strongly suspect that a few years down the line you will be both good and wise. Unfortunately, one of the things that makes people wise is the sort of crap that you're having to put up with now!
Best of luck.
Dumb parents. You can't teach hardship: it comes of its own accord. Hardship you have to enforce is just humiliation, it breeds resentment not backbone.
Dutchess, it seems you are much more mature than I am, certainly more mature than I was at your age. Then and now, I would have little reservation in phoning him just to say this:
It's not his education at stake, it's yours. I can't believe he's doing this to you.
"You haven't suffered enough" will give him even less traction with a judge than "I hate Catholics".
I honestly think your best course here is to sit back and let it get settled with whatever sound and fury is required and expend absolutely no emotional energy of your own. I know that's hard, because you have something at stake. But you are already much stronger than you realize.
Kids... all of the world's joy, magic, and wonder wrapped in such small bodies, only to be revealed in eyes as wide as saucers. What little balls of love and and creativity, bursting with imaginings of things like adventure and mystery and romance. They are our hearts, our purpose; for them do we strive to make a better, more vibrant world. Or is it them who make the world more vibrant for us?
Any parents who are not taken outside of themselves by their children are missing the whole point.
What the fuck?
So he's being a dick (sorry) to teach you a lesson? Newsflash to daddy dearest, life's a long affair. Sooner or later it's gonna throw so much crap at you, you'll feel like choking. Don't need parents acting up to accomplish that. It's like he's taking his bitterness out on you.
Just try to focus on nicer things: writing, archery, friends, ponies. I don't know if you like ponies. I liked them at your age, and they always cheered me up and made me feel better about myself when the evil stepmother took her jealousy out on us kids.
Maybe your dad will listen to the voice of reason eventually, as well. He might be under the impression that he's only doing what he thinks is best for you. He should understand what really is best for you, but if it sounds to him like it's what your mom thinks is best for you, that might also make him act emotionally.
Good luck. I'm sure things will work out.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not but I seriously hope you're joking...
and if you're not, please never have kids.
Guess whose health insurance was cut out by daddy dearest?
I'm gonna have to start wearing those little masks so I don't get sick....
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